Authentic Connections


Danielle reflects on her journey towards living life abundantly. She delves into the challenges of finding genuine connection in a world increasingly influenced by artificial intelligence (AI) and the impact of technology on interpersonal relationships.

Danielle shares her personal experiences and observations regarding the use of AI in social media, emphasizing the need for authentic connections in the coaching and wellness industry. She expresses concerns about the potential consequences of relying solely on AI for communication and highlights the importance of understanding and meeting the genuine needs of individuals.

She acknowledges the changes in her own content and marketing strategies as she strives to create meaningful connections with her audience. Danielle opens up about her quest for deeper connections in her personal life, especially after moving to a new location, and the challenges she faced in building authentic relationships.

The episode takes a personal turn as Danielle discusses her realization that she wasn’t lonely but rather craving genuine connections. She emphasizes the significance of intentional steps in establishing connections, sharing insights gained from her therapy session about prioritizing deep connections over superficial ones.

Danielle recounts her emotional experience in Australia, where she found a profound connection with like-minded individuals. This encounter inspired her to create the “Wilderness of Wellness,” a platform designed for women seeking deep connections, shared values, and support in their holistic health journeys.

In conclusion, Danielle encourages listeners to reflect on their own connections, challenging them to seek relationships that allow them to be their authentic selves without fear of judgment. She expresses gratitude for her podcast community, inviting listeners to connect with her on Instagram and share their thoughts on the episode.

Overall, the episode explores the transformative power of genuine connections and the impact they can have on one’s well-being and personal growth

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Transcription

Welcome to the crying to my cheesecake podcast, where we are in pursuit of living life abundantly, not held back by our body’s size or symptoms. Nor are we held back by our hurts, habits, or other obstacles in life. Learn the secrets to crush it in your health, wellness, relationships, and spiritual life. I am Danielle, your host and practitioner.

And in today’s episode, we are going to go into something a little personal to me and actually very recent, if I will, if I, if you’ll let me, if you’ll let me have some time in your ears, flushing through some things that I’ve learned lately. So I will do in January, like my, I normally do is just a roundup.

episode of Everything I Learned Each Month this past year, this past 2023. But something that’s really weighing heavily on my heart and really helping me to create some decisions and making, helping me make decisions over at least this past, since May or June is this idea of connection. Um, so I don’t know if you have even noticed or heard much or have had any experience with the current artificial intelligence AI, um, it was really introduced to me, um, early of this past year.

So probably like January, February this past year, but I really just started, um, noticing it and understanding it and so forth probably this summer. And if you notice a lot of people’s Instagram posts and social media posts and blog posts all have this weird, like. Vernacular, I guess. Anything that says embark.

Anything that says, oh shoot. Like there’s some other words that like just really scream that they are using AI to create their captions. And another thing is the formatting. You can tell when someone’s using AI just by the formatting. If there’s tons of emojis that they wouldn’t normally use or things like that.

But also if you dig deeper and pay attention to the person and the way they talk in their stories versus how they’re talking on their written content, you can also tell a difference. Like it doesn’t sound like their voice. So Um, Transcribed When AI started, I was really concerned. I’m like, Oh my gosh, there is a huge need for community.

There’s a huge need for people that need that we need people, right? We know that we need people to survive and to live with. And anything that 2020 taught us with all the lockdowns and things is that our mental health, our physical health, our just wellbeing in general is. Depend upon our ability to connect with others.

And while there are some good things of, um, AI that can definitely help with things, um, it’s not going to, it’s going to be the thing that makes or breaks people’s companies, especially in the coaching industry, especially in the health and wellness industry that I’m in. I already see people struggling, um, because they have made that swap and thought that it’s just so much easier to use AI.

Let’s just use AI. And. And get and tick the box that we posted something on the internet instead of thinking. Who am I, who am I talking to? Who am I, what do they need to know? What do they need to understand? How do they need to be, feel seen, heard, and known, and valued here? And so that, if you have been following me for a while, you may see that some of my content has changed.

Some of my content has changed more into a place for, and I say content because this is content as well guys, like this part of my community, if you’re part of my podcast, if you’re listening to my podcast, you’re part of my community. You’re part of my community if you follow me on Instagram. You’re part of my community if you download a freebie from me.

You can find those freebies down in the show notes or on social media links and so forth. Um, but you’re also part of my community just simply being. struggling with something that I love to work with. I know that sounds weird and like. Whatever. But I love seeing you come in with a puzzle box that has no piece, none of the pieces put together, a part of the pieces put together, and then letting me help you finish putting that puzzle together.

I love that. And I think that that’s why I’m really looking into, like, some of my marketing has changed, some of the way I talk has changed, because I need to stand out. And I think if you’re here, that you understand that. You understand that I, maybe you have caught on that I am different and the way I approach things is so different.

And I just thank you for that opportunity. I thank you for the gift of being in your ears every week or, um, however often you listen to me, if you pile them up, whatever it may be. Um, I just thank you for that. And I don’t ever want that to become this expectation because it’s not I’m very humbled when I hear or see someone in person or someone sends me a message on Instagram to that tells me that they listened to an episode and what they got out of it because that’s what I say at the end of the episode tell me come find me on Instagram at crying my cheesecake and tell me what you got out of it because it I always forget as soon as I hit.

And there’s this calling that keeps calling me back to podcasting, a piece that I need you to hear me, I need to get to know you, I need you to get to know me, because it’s just another place for you to connect. Blogging has pretty much died in the traditional sense of when I was actually blogging back in the day.

It’s People would read my blogs every week and it was, I loved it. I loved sharing my words. I love writing words, but in that transition, I’m realizing that Um, I still love to write and if you’re not on my email list, that’s where I’m doing most of my writing now. That’s where I’m sharing a lot of things that would be typically blog posts, blog posts are in that, um, in my email newsletter.

So definitely get on that. You’ll just have to head to my website, cryinginmycheesecake. com and you can either click the button at the top or there’ll be a pop up that comes up for you to sign up. But, um, all that to say, connection, connection has been really hard, um, for me. And I thought it was just in this move from Indianapolis, Indiana to Southwest Ohio.

I thought that that was my problem. I’m like, Oh my gosh, like it’s so hard to build connections here in Ohio. And it really is because in Ohio, there’s really no loyalty to Ohio. Um, which I think is weird because in Indiana. You’re the weird one if you move away, you’re the weird one if you move away from your community.

You’re the weird one if you move away out of state. Like, it’s one thing to move out of your community, it’s another thing to move out of state. And I have done both of those things, and it’s weird. Um, I did have to build my own routes in when I moved from my small town in northeast Indiana to Indianapolis, Indiana, which, by the way, one stoplight, two stoplights every two seconds was a huge, um, A culture shock to me, lots of people, lots of people, lots of people.

Anyway, um, I built connections and I made connections there. And then I realized quickly when I moved, were those connections going to, or, you know, like we think of when we move, we’re going to lose all our connection. And what’s interesting is I pretty much did. People that I had gone through some of the hardest times in my life with were then gone.

Um, not necessarily right away. Some of them were right away. Some of them really did have, no one has reached out to me. Many have not reached out to me since I moved. And I, at first, was so busy, you know, moving, that I didn’t think anything of it. And then there were, There was a season in the move, I’ve lived here since 20 July of 2018, I think it is.

Um, there’s been seasons that I felt very lonely. And the last two years, if I can be honest, which I’m always going to be honest, um, I’ve been very lonely. And so I went into therapy, um, to my therapy appointment a couple weeks ago and I was talking to my therapist about it and she’s like, well, wait, she had me list out all of the people I talked to, all of the people that I’m around.

And, and so forth. And she’s like, Danielle, you’re not lonely. You’re, you’re craving connection. And when she said that, I was like, oh my gosh, that’s exactly it. It’s, it’s the word that I was missing. I’m not lonely. I have tons of people around me and I have people I can go and depend upon and call on anywhere I go.

I have someone somewhere always and that’s a gift. Like that’s a gift. So I was able to rejoice in that moment that, Oh my gosh, I have this many people that actually care about me and, and I’m the same with them. Like I would totally in a heartbeat be there for them, but it’s connection in my new phase of life that I don’t have or didn’t think I had.

So then we talked about what connection actually means to me. And connection for me is a place or an experience where I feel a connection of maybe similar Um, political beliefs, maybe similar biblical worldview, maybe it is like spirituality. Maybe it’s, um, maybe it’s the way that I live my life and I prioritize my, my self care, my family and my business.

So an entrepreneurial mindset, it is, um, you know, I’m trying to think like it’s, it’s a place where I can be all of me, all of my hats in one place. And I think about so much like. All through, um, childhood, all through growing up, I’ve always had just like really one person that I can talk about everything with at a deeper level.

And when I was in Indianapolis, I, actually I think it was when I moved, Um, I connected with a group of, it was, it was a friend, honestly, it was a friend and his wife and connected with them and they got it. They get it. So every time I go and visit them, when I come back into town and I go visit them. I get to experience connection again.

I can talk about everything with them. And I don’t feel like I have to be reserved and like, the biggest thing that annoys me, annoys me about being with people, that’s really bad, I did not mean to say it like that. But what really annoys me is that just because I show up in a female body does not mean that I want to sit and talk about my kids all day.

I am so much more than just a mom. I’m not saying just a mom, because I know so many people that have struggled with infertility, cannot get pregnant, wish they had gotten pregnant. I was one of them. I was one of them that could not get pregnant without help. And so I get the idea of not being able to have kids, but when we have kids, if we place our identity in just our children.

Then our identity is temporary because those kids are going to leave. Those kids are not going to be perfect. Those kids are going to go off, marry and do their thing. And if they don’t get married, they’re going to go and have their own lives. That’s what we’re raising them for. My identity can’t just be in my husband’s wife because he can also be taken from me at any time.

And so. I want to show up as who I am, and that’s what I was missing. I was missing a piece of being able to share all of my life, the good, the bad, the ugly, and this entrepreneurial mindset of always wanting to build and create and thinking ahead and that my business is a priority over girls night. My business is a priority over, um, lots of things because I enjoy it.

It’s something I love. I eat, sleep, breathe my business now that has its own implications and issues. And I’ve talked about that before. But I want someone that understands the full gamut of me. And so it made sense that when I went to Australia and visited with my, and went to a retreat and then also spent some personal time and private time with my sisters down there in Australia, they, I cried when I left.

There aren’t many places that I cry when I leave. And it wasn’t because it was Australia, because quite frankly, like, Okay, cool. I’m going to go back because I need to for another retreat, but it’s not like that is not what drew me It wasn’t the ambience of Sydney, Australia It wasn’t the ambience of of anything else because quite frankly just reminded me of another Western city So it doesn’t it didn’t you know, whatever and it was also very void of Jesus Can I just say that like it was very void of Jesus and as soon as I got to LA of all places I saw people praying I saw people wearing Jesus shirts like stuff like that, so I was happy to be back on American soil when I came back because it was just so comforting and reminding of my priorities.

But anyway, um, all that to say, I cried when I walked away from our last get together. We had like a little hors d’oeuvres, um, drinks and hors d’oeuvres that night, the last night that we were there. And I walked away with tears in my eyes because I had made connection, connection. These women, most of them are moms of different ages, different stages of life, um, whether they’re retired from or retired themselves early from their careers or whatever, all of them have the same priorities and we all get each other, I guess the same priorities, similar priorities and our businesses don’t get to run us.

And we all come from different backgrounds, different belief systems, different whatever. And it was just beautiful to be in a place where there was actual authentic connection. And then I realized, I’m like, Oh my gosh, they’re not on the same time zone. I can’t just call them for a cup of coffee. I can’t just call them and say, Hey, let’s, can we just brainstorm?

And then I’m like, you know what? With the gift of technology, I can, I can hop on the WhatsApp and just text them as if it’s on my normal iMessages. I can. Um, hop on zoom and schedule a zoom with them and have breakfast or dinner with them while they’re having the opposite meal, um, as me and still make those connections.

But what I realized as well is that. Connection takes an intentional step. It requires us to take the steps over and over and over again to try. To step our foot in and say, okay, is this a place for connection? Okay, no, maybe not for me. Is this a place for me for connection? Nope, maybe not for me. But that’s what we don’t do.

We don’t step into. Taking action, we think it’s just going to fall upon us. We think that these people just by proximity are going to fall in, uh, fall in us, fall around us or fall into our calendar. And that doesn’t happen. Your neighbor. My neighbor. We have totally different worldviews. In fact, my neighbor was talking about a they and I had no flipping clue.

I got lost in translation because I’m a former English teacher. So grammar really, really matters to me. You wouldn’t know it with the way I speak and in sentences with prepositions all the time. However, my neighbor was talking I got so lost and I realized he was talking about his daughter. So there’s no real connection there other than we have a piece of me.

Like we share a similar, our properties are next to each other and he loves my chickens. Like that is one piece of me and one piece of connection. So it is very rare to find people who can handle and hold all of you. And I want you to think about do you have those kinds of connections in your life that you don’t have to hold back One little piece of you for fear of shame, or they’re not going to understand, or it’s useless to talk about with them.

That’s what I have learned in these last few months. Is that I don’t want to be with people that I can’t have deep connection with. I don’t want to be influenced by people that I can’t have deep connection with. And why is that? It’s because the reason why we don’t step into action of trying to find connections because we don’t have time.

We literally live in this, in this earth for a split second. The breath we have in our lungs is not guaranteed tomorrow. It’s not guaranteed an hour from now. So I want my connections to run deep. I want my connections to be in a way that it’s reciprocal, that I can give and I can get. And I can give and I can get because a lot of my relationships, I realized over the last two years, actually, a lot of my relationships were me giving, giving, giving, giving, giving.

Giving so much that I did not have anything left to say to my husband at the end of the day on our sushi date nights, on sushi Wednesdays. I did not have anything to say. I literally couldn’t even open my mouth, had no conversation, nothing. And he looks like he would look at me and I felt so bad. I was blank because I had given the best of me to everyone else and he didn’t even get a piece of me.

And that’s not fair to him. That’s not fair to my marriage. It’s not fair to my kids. It’s not fair to me. And quite frankly, it’s not fair to the people that I was giving to as well. Because then I set up my, I set myself up for failure because I would continue to serve them and that’s what they expected and they got upset when I wasn’t available to them.

And one person was like super upset with me at one point because I was, I’m, I’m a homeschool mom. I still homeschool even though I’m in my classroom. I’m not my classroom. Oh my gosh. I just said I’m in my classroom. I’m in my office. Not my classroom. You guys. Um, there’s a classroom downstairs though for me.

So I cannot wait to use that. Hold tight. There will be announcements coming. Um, but I am a homeschool mom. I have a husband who travels a lot for work and then he’s also in a top secret skiff all day long. So my kids only have access to me, like they only have access to me and I also run a full time business, like a lot more than full time, but a full time business.

And this person did not understand when I said to her, Hey. I have two uninterrupted hours for you tomorrow. Is that okay if I give those to you tomorrow? And she was upset because she did not understand what that actually meant. That means that I had been giving to this person so much that I didn’t set up boundaries.

I let myself be a doormat. And so then that person was, the connection was that they could get whatever they needed from me and not in a bad way necessarily, but they could get whatever they needed from me. But it wasn’t in a way that was honoring of my own self care, my own spiritual life, my marriage, myself, or my business.

And so, that, that, the trigger of AI in my brain, that, the things I have learned about connection and people, and even my own members in the wilderness of wellness, the fact that they get me, the connections are so deep. It’s actually why I created the Wilderness of Wellness in the first place. It’s actually born out of this place that I needed a space that I could go and be myself.

And that these women that are inside the Wilderness of Wellness, that they are also very similar. They have different lived experiences. They have different perspectives. They have different things. But we all have. Um, similar biblical worldviews. We all have similar ways that we vote. We all have similar priorities in life.

And inside this Wilderness of Wellness, this membership, um, it’s actually being created and crafted just for women like that. Um, and on my own platform, which launches January 1st, 2024, and on this platform, there is a proven six phase success path that is taught like no other. Um, and quite frankly, I don’t know if it could ever be taught the same way by anyone else.

You would have to get probably two, four, probably at least 10 to 12 different coaches to do what I am providing you inside that from mindset and mental health. Um, unwinding your, um, addiction cycles or relationship cycles or the way that you treat yourself kind of cycles, um, down to the habits of healthy people and what it looks like to live a holistically healthy life.

Like breaking it all down into so many, um, like just bringing it down to your level. That’s everyday level. And I don’t mean that to be belittling because life is real. Life is so real that we need practitioners who understand how busy your life is, the demands on your life, and also that you desire this freedom from your body size or symptoms or both, right?

That’s what the wilderness of wellness is. And I am so stinking proud of what is created. I’ve literally cried every single time I’m like putting the content together, reorganizing, reorganizing it for the new platform. Um, and I’m just so excited for that because of not just the content. But because it’s going to be the connections, the connections that are already in there, I’m so protective over.

In fact, I have actually declined people to get in because I’m just like, I’m not sure you’re a right fit. So let’s, let me refer you here. Let’s do this instead. But this is the wilderness of wellness is such. A place of connection, a place of community, a place of learning communication and building deeper relationships than we typically have.

And I learned out of my own mastermind experience in Australia that relationships, deep connection relationships don’t have to be next door. They can be across the globe. And that profound experience for me. is what is going into this new wilderness of wellness. I’m so excited for it. Connection makes everything, changes everything, makes everything so much more real, so much more attainable, and our goals and our lifestyle will change because of who we are connected with.

So wouldn’t it be nice to be connected with similar people with a similar lifestyle just like you?

Thanks for listening to the crying in my cheesecake podcast. I hope it encouraged you to make the next best step for your health. Take a look at the show notes for more information or other links I mentioned in the episode. And if you got to this point, come find me on Instagram at crying in my cheesecake and send me a DM.

Tell me that you listened to this episode and what you got out of it.

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hey, i’m Danielle

I love Jesus. I love my family. And I get joy from having a front row view of people growing toward their goals because of what I’ve taught.

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