It is one of those things that still crosses my mind every time I look into the eyes of my two babies. I see the pain, heartache, and struggle with infertility. But I also see something more…there is a sisterhood of those fellow mommies that struggle/ed too.
When I look around at women toting their babies through busy shopping malls or sitting with their children in restaurants, I see it. I see the looks of women that have struggled to conceive–it is different from those that are blessed to have the natural ability, shall we say.
Let me begin by saying, I am in no way wanting to cause any of the “normal” women to feel bad or different. They are blessed in tons of different ways. I want you to know that infertility has been a blessing to my family, moreso than we ever could believe. I only wish for this to be a sense of community among those that struggle.
The thought of pregnancy is still quite scary to me. I’ve had two successful pregnancies, but both have had their fair share of scares. My first pregnancy was just such a welcomed feat, yet there were complications at all points leading to an early delivery and a NICU stay. My second pregnancy, I’ll admit openly, I didn’t connect to at all because I was so scared the whole time. I really think that’s why I refused to acknowledge I was having contractions, even. I did not connect to that pregnancy until my daughter was born.
These emotions are normal. Think about it: Infertility families must involve a doctor’s methods in their intimate lives at home. There is a set method, a set schedule, and hormones pumped into the body that cause a woman to feel insane–let alone how that husband is feeling having to deal with that insane woman!, there are medicines that just make a woman feel gross, bloated, nasty AND this is BEFORE she’s even pregnant.
The fact that wives and husbands will go to extreme measures to create their family is extraordinary. These families truly desire that family, put forth their all (including sanity!!). Once those pregnancies succeed in a beautiful baby, those parents are like non other, still. The woman is at high risk of post partum depression (This stuff can begin right away, or flipping 6-12 months AFTER the baby is born!). The family seems so grateful, grateful in a way that is so different. I see it on other families faces. There’s an appreciation for those babies like non other. Those babies were fought for, prayed for, and gone to extraordinary measures to conceive. The families were meticulous in getting everything perfect and what one places much time into, one will nurture for a life time.
So next time you’re out, take a look at moms and their babies. Do you see something more than a mother-child bond? Is there something glowing from the mother as she looks into her children’s eyes?
Those of you fortunate enough to conceive naturally, acknowledge your gift. Take heed and praise God for it. Appreciate it. Those of you that are like me and must meticulously plan every pregnancy, acknowledge it. Take heed and praise God for medical science and that you’ve been able to conceive! Appreciate it.
