This morning as I did some reading on momish things, I saw a topic pop up that is very humbling. Saying, “I’m Sorry” is one of the hardest things to say. It is hard because we don’t want to let go of our pride. Saying “I’m Sorry” doesn’t mean you’re wrong. It doesn’t mean you’re right. It means you are admitting to the other person you’re not perfect.
Ouch. Not perfect. So much in our society makes it so that we women (and men) must be perfect in everything that we do. Last night I noticed that the Duggar family made it to Netflix so I turned on the first episode while my son and husband were at Father’s Night at preschool. Mrs. Duggar said, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Therapy summed up in two sentences.”
Isn’t that the truth? How many times could your issues have been solved quickly if you’d just said those two sentences–and meant them?
Let’s take this a bit deeper. I don’t remember the circumstances, but one time I reacted to my son’s behavior inappropriately. In fact, I overreacted. That is so unlike me. I don’t overreact for anything. I’m not a huge emotional, drama-filled woman. I like things clean cut, corners straight and narrow, and I expect a lot of myself and others around me. If you see me crying, you ought to be running because there is something terribly wrong! haha
So I overreacted to my son. While overreacting I saw fear in his eyes. I stopped what I was doing dead in my tracks. My son was fearful of me… and not in a good way. A child must fear his parents like we fear our God. But my son shouldn’t fear unconditional love and the unknowing. He had never seen me react like that and it was completely inappropriate. So instead of continuing what I was doing I stopped.
I got down on my knees in front of him so we were eye to eye. I held onto his upper arms/shoulder area. I looked into his eyes and said, “Dietrich I am sorry.” I went into further explaining why I was sorry, and explaining to him how his behavior was inappropriate and provided normal discipline procedures. Things he’d expect.
I believe in being open and honest with my children. I believe in showing them my faults as well. I believe in growing together. If we as moms behave or react in a wrong way, we need to fix it. Show our children that it was wrong. Show our children that saying, “I’m sorry” is okay and acknowledging the problem.
How do you deal with teaching your children these things? Do ever show your child your imperfections?