Journey to Connection: Navigating Friendships, Vulnerability, and the Unexpected Return of Canadian Geese

Join Danielle, your host and practitioner, in this heartfelt episode of The Crying in My Cheesecake podcast. As she delves into her past, sharing vulnerable stories about friendships and the challenges she faced growing up, Danielle explores the theme of connection and the profound impact it has had on her life. From encounters with Canadian geese to the unexpected blessing of a care package during a bout with COVID, Danielle reflects on the importance of genuine human connection and announces the opening of the Explorer Tier in the Wilderness of Wellness membership—a space for women to embark on a journey towards abundance in health, wellness, and relationships.

Show Notes

Email Danielle: hello@danielleh21.sg-host.com

New Patient Package https://l.bttr.to/Pc6aR

FREE First Steps Clinic: https://cryinginmycheesecake.com/firststepsclinic/

Grab Danielle’s Activated Essentials: https://cart.lifevantage.com/US/shoppingcart/share/2cbb8705-cfad-4083-b853-451db92d23db

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cryinginmycheesecake/

Transcription

Welcome to The Crying in My Cheesecake podcast, where we are in pursuit of living life, abundantly not held back by our body size, nor our health symptoms, nor are we held back by our hurts, habits, or other obstacles in life. Learn the secrets to crush it in your health, wellness, relationships, and spiritual life.

I am Danielle your host and practitioner, and in this episode I am going to go over lots of things, friendships, um, share some vulnerable stories of my past and, um, why I maybe. Lean into why I am so weird in the way that I am sometimes when it comes to relationships. But y’all, speaking of relationships, I drove into the office this morning to do this recording and to meet with my Wilderness of wellness members at 11.

And um, then I have a, a call at noon with a, uh, another client. And I’m driving in and it’s January, okay, January, 2024, right? And in the Midwest we have geese, Canadian, geese, all summer long, all spring, they come back in the spring and start laying their eggs and becoming a nuisance everywhere. And if you didn’t know Canadian, geese are evil.

They have like a little hook tooth in the top of their beak and they’re just evil and they will actually hurt you and like tear skin and things if you get too close to their nests or too close to them. Anyway, they’re a nuisance now. They used to be an endangered species here in the United States. I don’t know if they were endangered in Canada or not, but I just remember growing up in the nineties that you weren’t allowed to even touch geese.

Um, we used to eat geese growing up. Um, goose smoked goose is actually really delicious and, um, anyway, very delicious, very tender meat. But anyway, so now they’re a nuisance and they’re everywhere. And it’s January and they’re not supposed to be here. They fly south for the winter. And to us in the Midwest, the south is like Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, like that way south.

Right. And basically America’s armpit area is um, where they go in the wintertime and they’re back already. I’m literally looking at them out my window. And they’re back. So drive in this morning and I nearly run over two half on purpose, half like, will you move? Like, I’m gonna, don’t, don’t tempt me. I’m gonna play chicken or goose with my car.

Um, well the girl looks at me like, just hit me. Just hit me. And I’m like, I didn’t even think anything of it. ’cause I’m like, girls or guys, you’re back so early. Why are you here? So I was just kind of stunned. Get outta the car and they’re making this squawking noise and I realize. They must be, they must be in heat early, which again is weird because the men are like whipping their necks around and making these nasty calls.

And I’m like, oh honey, I know now why you wanted me to run you over. You’re done with this. So anyway, my virtual assistant and one of my closest friends and dearest friends is lives in Canada. She’s Canadian. And I sent her a message. I’m just gonna read it to you real quick. So I sent her a video of this all happening and I said, take your birds back please.

I tried to run two of them over and she’s like, sends these, you know, the laughing, crying emojis and she’s like, that’s what you get. And then I was just talking to her and um, she’s just like laughing at me and I started thinking about it, especially when I knew I was coming in to do this episode today.

Um, that’s a friend who gets me, that’s a friend who understands how much I love America, how American I am. I am loud, I’m obnoxious. I am all of the Midwest stereotypes, let alone, um, gung-ho red, white, blue. Um, yes. Like, that’s just who I am. And you know what? She loves me anyway. She teases me, laughs and enjoys like she, she just.

Accepts me for who I am, and I have tears. I, this is like three weeks in a row that I have been very emotional about these podcast episodes. Um, and I think I told you a few weeks ago, I literally sat in church one day and wrote out what each of the podcast episodes were gonna be like, or what they were gonna be over for the next 12 weeks at that time.

And I didn’t realize that I was, that we were here. My topic today is that people keep moving away from me. Um. And I, I have left that there and just kinda let that linger, let that sit and I’m like, you know what? It’s not really about people moving away from me. It’s been a thing about friendships and deep community that I’ve struggled with my whole life.

I have struggled with people understanding me, understanding me, um, like my full me, not just pieces and parts of me or the pieces and parts that they want to understand. Like my family does. My family knows the past me, the things that I, my behaviors I displayed. You know, all of those things. They can pick at me on those things.

But my family actually never knew all of me. I never felt safe enough to be able to share all of me with them. And then when they found out, I felt judged. I felt ashamed. I felt guilty. I felt, I felt like I was always having to hide myself. And it was in middle school when I found. I found out and I realized, so all through elementary school and even in preschool, I was social ish, but I never wanted or found deep connection, friendships.

And granted, I did grow up in a very small town, and I love those people dearly. Don’t get me wrong, because they helped raise me. Right? You know, everyone that grows up in a small town, you were raised by each other’s families, and it’s not that. It’s that I was not given or opened to more. And I know that when we are raising our children, like for me, I want to shelter my kids from the harsh realities of the world and introduce them slowly and in a safe manner to things that they’re gonna have to deal with, right?

So it’s, for me, growing up, I felt like I didn’t have access. To all of the things I needed. I felt like I was shoved into a box and kept there so people could understand me and so I could fit in and survive. And you know, when we fit in, when we work our way to fit into something that is a survival mechanism, we shrink ourselves so that other people can understand us.

And then we just sit there and go through life. And usually that breeds depression, addictive behaviors, and it breeds this need of like, I just need to escape. I will never forget when I finally graduated high school and I wanted to, I wanted to leave years prior to that. Like I was ready to leave and I knew I didn’t fit in with the people.

Um, considering I was friends with most adults. Um. And I wanted to be around. Most adults even, they were very limited because they just didn’t have the world experience. They didn’t have what, where my brain and personality was. And that’s totally fine. That’s not their fault. It’s not my fault. It’s just it is what it is.

And I will never forget when I got to leave, um, that small town and I realized I really didn’t miss anybody. I didn’t miss anybody because. I was starting over in a way, in a sense that I got to redefine myself. But as a young 18-year-old, 19-year-old girl going off to college, I didn’t know who I was. I knew what everyone told me I needed to be.

I knew that everyone told me how I needed to act and that everybody would be watching and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I didn’t know who I was. Now I think that this was really important, um, because I could have gone, I could have slid really poorly. Um, but I was, I had dated or was starting to date my husband when I was 18, he was twenty-five.

Yes. My parents absolutely loved that. Not, um, he was from Indianapolis. And when I moved to Indianapolis for school, we were actually broken up. Funny not, but we were still friends. We still kept in contact and I don’t think, if I didn’t have him in my life, I think that I would have truly lost myself in ways that I don’t even know if I’d be here.

Um, I. And it, he provided the safety net for me to start to learn who I was, dig my roots, and I never had to find friends. I never had to figure out where I came from or what I wanted outta life. I never had to figure that out until I moved and I left everything. I knew there were three and a half years that I had no contact with my parents other than tax statements.

That was it. Um, I didn’t have any contact with my cousin. Um, everybody just wanted to stay out because Danielle was rebelling and really was I rebelling or was I actually living my life? Um, I look back on that and I realize I was just living my life. Um, I wasn’t, yes, I wasn’t a perfect girl by any means, but I came to Jesus.

I actually got baptized in, in, um, what was it, two years, two years after leaving. I was following Jesus hard. I was looking for churches. I was Diving. I was in so many good places. Um, that even, you know, some of the changes in me, um, my own mother at said I was in a cult when I started leading women’s ministry.

Um, it was. Lots and lots and lots of small-minded, um, narrow-minded pieces were part of my life. And again, I don’t have any blame for anybody. It just is what it is. And so during those years, I’m just, I’m going back to this because I’m, remember how lonely I was. I’ve always been lonely, but I’ve always been around people.

So what is that? You can’t technically be lonely when you can call on people and you have people around you. You do have friends and acquaintances around you and community and all of that. What I was craving, I actually just learned this summer, was connection. I didn’t have connection growing up. I didn’t have connection.

When I started college, I had connection with my husband. Well, he wasn’t my husband then. But with, with my husband, I had connection with people. I was meeting at church, I had connections with people I wanted to be around, and I learned that growing up the way I did, I had to like everybody or be nice to everybody, which is great.

It’s a great skill. I had to like everybody, but I couldn’t hang out with everybody because of what it would look like. And so that to me was always like, oh, heck no. That goes against everything in my body. And so that caused me to start. Hanging out with different people. And then I quickly realized, I’m like, Ooh, this is not the right group of people for me.

They’re going to influence me for the negative. Um, or, Ooh, these are the right people for me. They’re going to influence me for the positive. And I think about the connections I still have, and I feel deeply connected to my best friend from middle school through high school, and her mom. Her mom, um. And dad led me to Christ along with her.

Um, there were other little snippets of my grandmother and all of that in there as well, but it was her and her mother that would take me to church every weekend. I was saved in a southern Baptist church and that set me up for really big things. But it also showed me that when I had. Temptations or gave into temptations or whatever, I could not share those with my family.

I could not share those things with certain people because I was shamed. I was guilted. I was called names. I was made to feel a certain way. And really what I know now is that they were projecting their themselves upon me. They were projecting their insecurities upon me. I was not allowed to screw up.

And when I did, there was hell to pay and. There was no connection then connection was never there because I was always afraid of screwing up and we don’t wanna screw up for survival, right? Like we gotta survive. So I literally learned this principle of connection is what I have desired all of my life.

And there are very few people who I have gotten and feel connected with. And what’s interesting is either I’ve moved away or they’ve moved away, or when I moved to Southwest Ohio, Southwest Ohio, I don’t know what it is about Ohio Buckeyes the useless nuts. Um, I don’t know what it is about them, but they don’t have like a sense of loyalty to.

Their state or their community. It’s weird. In Indiana, it’s weird that you move. It’s weird that you move outta your community and it’s really weird if you move outta state. Um, so when I moved I was really weird. I moved to Southwest Ohio, and in the area that I’m at, there’s military base and so it’s very transient.

There are a lot of people that move in and move out and people come here. I think we’re here to die. Um, but people come here and then they leave and it’s very purposeful why they come to this area of. The state, and it’s insane to me to think of how many people I started to build connections with and then they’re gone.

In one week I lost, I lost, quote unquote, a doctor, a physical therapist, a group of friends. And then this past couple of weeks I lost, um. These two. They’re basically like our, my parents’ age, these two. He is a Marine. A retired? Retired or, yeah. A, a marine veteran. And she was a, um, retired, I think she was a teacher maybe.

Um, either way they’re moving to go spend time with their grandkids and, and help, you know, be with their grandkids or their grandkids as they a, as they get older and stuff. And what a blessing that is, that they can just pick, pick up and go. But losing them and then realizing that some of the friendships that I am creating, there are some people locally that are denying God and choosing new age.

And I am not someone that loves church. Small groups. I don’t like forced groups. I was not one of those, um, sorority girls. And if you were, that’s awesome, but that’s just not my personality. Uh, I will stand on stage and speak to thousands of people, but you put me in a group to socialize and be forced to socialize.

And we’re talking about the weather. I am not, I’m not gonna be there, but I’m not present. Um, or we’re complaining about things. I am not gonna be there. And so it has been very hard for me. I realize it’s not just, it’s not just these people moving away from me. That’s why I think this episode didn’t air until today or whenever you get to listen to it, because I needed to process that.

It’s not that people are moving away from me. It’s that I, it’s still this piece of connection. And then something strange happened last week. I got covid, I fell down with covid, and I literally worked all day, had no idea my back was hurting. That was my only, that was my only symptom that I knew that something was wrong.

My, I could not, um, my lower back was just so tight and I had no idea. I didn’t have a headache, didn’t have fever, didn’t have, I was, I was totally fine. In fact, I worked a 10 hour day that day, and it wasn’t until I got outta the shower, I’m like, huh. Something seems wrong and I had a fever of 103.5. Um, had to call all the people and let them know that I was, you know, that I got sick and for them to watch themselves, blah, blah, blah and whatever, whatever your opinions are on Covid, I’m just gonna tell you this one thing.

Um, my kids got it. They were over it in 24 hours. Um, I got it and I was over it and within 48 hours and only had a fever for. I don’t know, like six hours, maybe six hours max. Um, but my husband, he did have the jab originally because his job forced him to, and his symptoms just keep lingering and lingering and lingering.

But what was interesting is he did not have a fever and we all had a very high fever really fast, and then we got over it really fast. So that’s just. Thoughts. Um, I also have a very rigid covid protocol that has time and time again. It works. So keeping the virus out of the lungs, keeping the virus out of the body.

If you’ve been exposed, I literally have everything, um, you need. But covid is not something to be scared of. Um, it is literally just an annoying headache and some body aches and just. It’s, I would much rather have this than the flu any day. Uh, considering the last time I had the flu, um, was the last time I had the flu shot and the last time I had the flu, I had flu B and then I had flu A and I almost had to go to the hospital.

I had to go get a steroid shot and um, it was very close to not, I was going to need some medical intervention because it was bad. Anyway, all that to say, I got covid and. I was not expecting this, but I had to cancel. I had to cancel, obviously, everything Friday, and I had to cancel some things, um, because I wasn’t prepared for my membership at a meeting with my membership.

And I was so excited about it, but I wasn’t prepared because I ended up getting sick and needing to sleep that off. And Sunday, I hate missing church. I missed our church’s worship night, and it sucked because it’s always beautiful and fun and just full of the spirit and just empowering. But I had to miss it.

And I was just sitting in bed working because you know, that’s what I do. And all of a sudden my husband comes upstairs with a bag and I’m like, what is this?

My wilderness of wellness ladies got together and created me a care package.

Um, I think I can count on less than two fingers. Actually one finger. How many times someone has made me a care package or taken care of me or shown me love in that manner without being forced. And, and at that point I sat there and sobbed because, and oh my goodness, I have tears running now. Um, that’s connection.

That is. And what, when I say that’s connection, here’s why my members created for me a care package of everything I tell them to do for themselves on how to nourish their bodies and nourish their souls. And the other thing is I know that they listened to me not just on how to do things, but they listened to my likes, my interests, and there were definitely pieces in there.

In that care package that tells me that they listen to me. Guys, I have craved connection my whole life and I now know and have made the connection in my own mind that that’s what the Wilderness of wellness is. The Wilderness of Wellness is a community for connection for women to gather together and do life together.

All the while on the pursuit of living life abundantly not held back by their body size nor their symptoms. And these women inside my membership, they are, they are not only working through their health things, they’re not only getting consistent with health habits, they’re addressing their mindset issues, their root causes of why they believe what they believe, or changing, you know, changing habits in real life and behaviors and thought patterns is so hard.

A template, a call center, tracking points using message boards on an app. Those kinds of things do not actually meet you where you are and do not teach you how to implement things in your own life. They also don’t allow you a vulnerable, or first of all, a safe space to be vulnerable because vulnerability leads to human connection.

And when we have human connection, that’s when we change for the good or the for the good or the better, or you know, the good or the worst. But that’s when we change. We become the people that we know we are, and people are now seeing it. We’re now behaving like the people that we know we are internally.

You know, scripture says, for out of the heart, the mouth flows, the things that you say, the things that you believe, the things you do are all a reflection of what’s going on inside you. So basically, in my terms, your outsides match your insides. If you have really dry, wrinkly skin and it looks very ashy and pale, something is going on inside that body.

Your skin all year round with, even without lotion, should look plump, supple, thick, and it should, you know, have obviously wear and tear lines from laughing and, and life and stress happens, right? But it should not feel so, um, just. Deflated and empty, and we should not be shrinking ourselves to fit everybody else’s mold, nor should we shrink ourselves in order to fit a dieting template or a, you know, a nutritionist, uh, program for you or anything like that.

The Wilderness of wellness is literally all about abundance. Abundance in every area of your life, your spiritual life, your relationships. Honesty with yourself. Honesty with us. Abundance of good quality food, abundance of energy, abundance of, um, focus, abundance of purpose and, and all of that. But you, we can’t do that if you’ve not heard of Maslow’s hierarchy of of needs.

We can’t live to our purpose. If we don’t have a safety place, and safety requires boundaries with ourselves and with others and learning how to put those in place. Safety requires you to acclimate and make connections with people for that vulnerability, for the human connection and for the change. And the wilderness of wellness is my life’s ministry.

It is the space that I wanna work with forever. Um, and I say that truly. Because it gives me so much joy. I wish you could see the smile on my face right now. Um, I have tears rolling down my face and I also have this, this big smile on my face because this is what it’s about. The wilderness of wellness lights my tail on fire because it’s nothing, nothing like anything else that’s out there.

It’s self-paced. There’s different tiers that you can join. Different ways to support yourself, and right now the explorer tier is open. And I’m gonna set, put all the information down below, um, for you on that. But the explorer tier is open right now, and in that you get recipes. Don’t ever like get in the recipe rut or the meal time rut.

There is community in there. There is monthly challenges. The monthly challenges are not like, Ooh, Instagram fitness challenges or anything like that. The monthly challenges are literally. These challenges that will help you get results that month, like you’re gonna get results that month. So this past month we did hydration.

And I gave people a minimum. I gave people a maximum, and anything in between was perfect. I gave four different kinds of lessons that were short, short for me, lessons on hydration, how to make it easier, what, what is, what are signs of dehydration, what do I need to do, you know, like all these things, how to make hydration a little bit more enjoyable.

Um, so I did that for them. And there’s already been success stories like. Oh my gosh. It’s amazing how just drinking water gave me more energy. It’s, and then like that encouragement within one another and that accountability piece of getting it done. Beautiful. And then there’s weekly routines. You ever, have you ever heard yourself say, well, if I could just get on routine, it’d be okay.

I just need a new season to slow down and, and get on routine. The problem is when we think of routines, we’re thinking of routines as I have to conform to this and I don’t have time to do that. Well. Yeah, no, that’s, that’s the truth. You shouldn’t be conforming to anybody else’s routines. You should be conforming to your routines.

So I teach you how to make routines based on your core values, your priorities, and how those may shift and change over the years. And it’s amazing how much people can stick to ’em. People can stick to the routines, um, once they understand how to address them. Um, I’m trying to think what else. So there’s, like I said, there’s the new member connection calls.

There’s oh, oh, oh the big one. You get access to my first phase of my success path. And in this phase it’s all about mindset. Becoming a mindset master. It’s becoming that person that thinks differently and that is the hardest thing that most one-to-one practitioners and even my colleagues have no clue how to even address.

In fact, I have a colleague that, um, she, she’s also, she’s a nutritional therapy practitioner, and she was like watching how I was speaking to, um, a patient and so forth. And she’s like, how did you know to say that? How did you know to make that up or to bring this up? And I was like, she’s like, how did you know how to answer that?

And I said, because it’s wisdom. It’s God-given wisdom, and it is a gift that I have. And it’s something that I know needs to happen for people, and that’s what sets me apart from everybody else. I can treat you one-to-one. I can treat you as a naturopathic doctor, but what I can’t do is be there in between.

I can’t be at your beck and call in your back pocket at all times, but now I can. With the Wilderness of wellness, I can. You have a community of ladies that want to support you. The Wilderness of wellness is only for women right now. Um, I only work one-to-one with men. Um, for now there’s no in-between time for them at the moment, but the wilderness of wellness is that space for you, especially if you love God, especially if you wanna worship him with everything you have and everything you bring to the table.

Especially if you want to start taking radical responsibility of your health and wellness and of your life, take it back.

So when we actually, when we think we feel lonely and isolated and alone, are we actually or are we feeling disconnected? And if the answer is disconnected, I encourage you to join the Wilderness of Wellness as an explorer right now, you can always join as an explorer. Check it out, get started. Don’t let 20 twenty-four be full of excuses.

Do something step into it.

Thank you for listening to The Crying in my Cheesecake podcast. I hope it encouraged you to make a next best step for your health. Take a look at the show notes for more information or other links I mentioned in the episode. And if you got to this point, come find me on Instagram and send me a DM. Tell me you listened to this episode and what you got out of it.

And if you would be so kind, please rate and review this podcast at Five Stars and leave me a review that helps other people understand, um, what we do here at Current, my Cheesecake, what it’s about and how it can help them.

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hey, i’m Danielle

I love Jesus. I love my family. And I get joy from having a front row view of people growing toward their goals because of what I’ve taught.

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