A dear lady, I’m fortunate to call friend now, has a way with words. She is a young lady that is living a transparent life, sharing her struggles and praises with the world, all the while giving all the glory to God. She is a mother of two beautiful boys and has just given birth to her precious daughter. Her reality is maybe not the same reality we find ourselves in, but I love her honesty. She owns her own. She is real and this is her reality.
It is so beautiful that I asked her permission to share on the blog.
A Couple (or 12) of Ole Fawner’s Parenting Pet Peeves:
1. If someone compliments my baby while you’re toting them around, please give me a little holla & don’t pretend they’re yours. I’ve spent 2 1/4 years growing those children, about 21 months trying to conceive for our full term babies and a year recovering after each. I deserve a holla, dangit!
2. My kids aren’t in preschool (What?! Nooooo!)…not bc I’m anti preschool, just because I am blessed with the time to work & teach them also. That’s it.
3. I breastfeed covered in public. I know there’s a ‘free booby” movement going around but I’m not comfortable with it so I’m not participating.
4. I work outside of the home p.t. and raise my kids. That doesn’t make me an unfit mom. It just means I can’t financially stay home all the time. Do I enjoy leaving them? No way, but it’s a necessity. I feel like it’ll be a lesson in itself that I could do both and my kids will turn out just fine.
5. I am reluctant to follow parenting groups on Facebook. I still do and I’ve used them to my advantage but I think too many times moms bully other moms on there and that’s not cool. We’re supposed to learn from one another, be a team, not force our views down eachothers’ throats and discipline eachother if we don’t agree on issues such as organic baby food or formula vs B/F.
6. I love my babies with every inch of my being but I know they’re not perfect and they never will be. Quit trying to say your kid is or was or comparing mine to yours. In the end it’ll just make me not like your kid, frankly…and that’s not cool bc it’s not their fault you’re setting the bar there.
7. Please open the door for me if you see me struggling with 2 toddlers & an infant carrier. I know I’m no longer a cute teen & am currently a chubby, stretchmark ridden, frazzled woman that looks hopeless but I need your help now more than ever…I was pretty capable when I had a 6 pack & weighed 115.
8. We all forget. We forget what it feels like to be utterly exhausted. We forget how it feels to have literally no time for yourself or your husband or to be financially struggling with little kids. Please try to remember before throwing out your words of wisdom.
9. Kids cost money. They take away from your ability to work just anywhere or enough; they wear disposable pricey undies that they crap in every 2 hours, they eat your new groceries like there’s a famine in the news. If I can’t go out it’s probably bc I’m broke that week or my kids need shoes. And if I do go out with the kids, it’ll be on a budget (1 ride at the zoo, no candy at the checkout this time) but that’s ok bc it teaches them to be grateful for the little things.
10. I know I look like an evil wifey for wanting my husband to be home instead of at a tailgate party every weekend but we’re a team. I need him and so do my kids. What you don’t see are the extra hours he’s working and my kids constantly asking when daddy gets home. So if we opt to stay in and rent a Redbox and eat $5 pizza,pizza that’s more valuable right now. Deal homey.
11. I discipline my kids. They need it. Humans get away with what they can get away with. If your boss gives you a little slack, you’ll run with it. Kids are no exception. I want my kid to stop when he’s running for the road and I say stop. I expect please & thank you. I need them to be able to talk to adults respectfully. Trust me, they don’t always behave…but my goal is that they do most of the time and that’s my job to teach them.
12. Sometimes you gotta do what works. Drive thru dinner bc I worked all day. Their bellies are full. Pop in a cup bc that’s all that’s there. They’re no longer thirsty. Turn on cartoons so I can take a shower. That works!
Whew, I feel better now. It’s all about showing eachother love while we’re in the same boat and understanding there’s a million different ways to raise a child. We’re all in different family situations with different kids so we’ll never agree on every method! So here’s a shoutout to all my fellow parents doing the best we can Holla!
Thanks Fawn Alexander for the reminder that we as moms are ordinary. No one is better than the other. We are to pick each other up and move along. The comparisons quit once we realize we are all battling something, somewhere. Only through Christ’s gift of the Holy Spirt are we able to be extraordinary.
