If you read my post from last year called I am a MacroMissionary, you know most of this story. In March 2018 I entered into my last weight loss program. At the time I knew I didn’t have a problem with working out. No, my problem was with food. It always has been. I had just weaned my youngest at the end of January 2018. My body was finally my own again after a second miscarriage, secondary infertility struggles, lots of fertility medicines/shots, and other hormones. I had endured a long, but healthy pregnancy, for the most part due to the fact I had gestational diabetes, again.
The funny thing was, before I conceived my last child I was the lowest weight I’d been in years… honestly probably my wedding weight zone. Yet I still had gestational diabetes with my third child. I exercised daily while pregnant and ran often after he was born. Yet there was still something wrong. My weight never budged and in fact it went up for the two years post partum nursing. The food.
Oftentimes people will use an excuse that they aren’t emotionally or spiritually healthy so they need to get the emotional side figured out first. Honestly, I don’t subscribe to this. I really don’t subscribe to it at all with any addiction. Food, alcohol, sex, narcotics, and more can be an addiction and when that addiction is feeding good feeling receptors in our brains, we are so far away from knowing what real health looks like or feels like.
We are blinded because of that receptor place and we allow any excuse to make continuing our unhealthy behaviors acceptable. And by we, I mean me, too.
Back in March 2018 I was given the opportunity to fully commit to dealing with my food issues. Obviously, I learned my food issues were a deeper manifestation of deep emotional distress I’d never dealt with in my life. I could never access those emotions and issues I needed to deal with when I used food to feed my pleasure receptors in my brain.
Essentially I’d start to feel or face something, ignore it completely by shoving Costco muffins in my face. And I’m pretty sure a lot of the Western world does this, too. I mean I come from the Midwest and the Midwest is home to some of the most obese of the population…. I was part of that population, too.
In order to even face my mental and emotional issues, I had to be set free from the control food had over me. Insert my macro nutrition coaches. They told me my boundaries. I could play inside them all I wanted. I could make all the choices I wanted inside those boundaries. And somehow that was so freeing.
It was freeing to let someone, who knows better than me, what works and what doesn’t. It was freeing to know someone was there to help me. I wasn’t stupid—I just had some issues to deal with and the option of food blocking my feelings was no longer going to be there.
I had to be set free from food and learn how to face my emotions. I went to therapy and the sessions were so much more productive because I had access to the emotions I didn’t know existed. I learned to feel. I learned how to sit in emotions and feel all the feelings.
Bad feelings Suck.
Did you know that?
But so does the thought of something or someone controlling me. Stepping away from food’s control, I realized I allowed people to control my emotions and give me an identity. I let them tell me I was something when I really wasn’t. I learned quickly how and why I walked on eggshells around certain people. Food came into play in that type of situation because it doesn’t have a need for me to walk on eggshells. Food was there for me, and food never let me down, like so many other people.
You know, I had bought into the typical fad diets out there, I’m so cool! I wanted to be in the hip and now crowds. Those crowds played off my desire to have a quick fix. But this time, this time I knew a quick fix would never work. (And just so you know a quick fix won’t work for you, either. Don’t buy in to the lies.)
I’ve been one to lose weight and then gain it all right back and then some. But this time had to be different. My emotional base was clear. I was stronger mentally and I wanted to be stronger physically. In fact, my goal was to be as physically strong and healthy as I was spiritually.
Freedom that comes with having a coach includes encouragement, accountability, and permission. My coaches encourage me when I am in a blind spot. They see something that I can’t see and remind me where I’ve come from, my goals, and my why. I have accountability in a place where I’ve decided to be honest with myself. That’s the key. When we’re honest with ourselves, we choose to get rid of any lies and excuses. The accountability a coach provides is holding me to what I said I want. They take away the excuses and lies. They call me on my old games if they ever come out to the surface.
My coaches have permission to speak clearly to me when I’m screwing up and not doing what I said I’d do. I give them permission to teach me a new outlook on food. Why? I trusted them because I couldn’t trust myself with food. Everything I did before didn’t work or didn’t provide the lasting results I was looking for. The people they’ve coached have actually kept their fat off. They themselves live it, too.
While I was in the beginning stages of my macro nutrition program, I started to follow a few accounts on Instagram of women who have been successful with macro nutrition who are similar to me. Their lives look similar to mine because they also had the awakening that there was more to life than allowing themselves to live in obesity with high risks of heart disease and diabetes.
Hello! That’s me. I have been obese more of my life than I haven’t. I’m totally including the years I was an infant fyi. My family has a long history of heart disease, diabetes, and other obesity related issues. For awhile I believed this was just my destiny—I too would just follow suit. But I learned that doesn’t have to be the case. I may be predisposed to it, but it doesn’t have to be my reality.
I can learn better habits that will push off those issues far in the future if possible. The funny thing is, I didn’t expect this thing to happen, but I became a healthy person. I became this person who had a desire to be healthy. I began acting as a healthy person—tracking my food, moving my body more, actively engaging my coaches, and stamping my foot in the ground choosing to be healthy.
The best part? I don’t have to miss out on life. I don’t have to be a burden to those around me because I can’t eat what they are eating and they’re worried about doing life with me when it comes to food. Let’s face it, food is the center of most everything we do as a culture. It has been from the beginning.
Meal times are important and it’s when bonding, and stories, and daily things are shared. It’s a comfortable place. And we shouldn’t have to miss out on the life happening around us. I’ve learned hacks, tips, and tricks that work for me.
I’ve learned to eat for my body.
Last August after we moved in and were settled the idea of becoming a macro nutrition coach was on my mind. I had been praying over it, but knew the time wasn’t right. I really do like sharing what I’m learning with others, but didn’t think much of it more than that. In March 2019 I was asked to come on as a macro coach with my coaches. I’m learning all I can learn and will be coached not only in my own nutrition, but also in helping others find their nutritional freedom as well.
Beginning May 2019 I will be taking clients on for personal macro nutrition coaching. I am excited, nervous, and just really feeling called to empower people to live their lives well.
If you are interested in more information, please feel free to email me. I’d love to start the conversation. Or visit my page Curated Nutrition with CIMC and check out what I will offer! I’m so very excited to get this party started!