Embrace Authenticity & Wellness inside The Wilderness of Wellness

In this episode, Dr. Danielle shares her raw experiences from a recent retreat in Australia, reflecting on the challenges of re-acclimating to life’s demands and the power of finding genuine connections. From addressing mindset and identity to fostering deep community bonds, discover how the Wilderness of Wellness offers an authentic path to balance and fulfillment.

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Transcription

  Welcome to the crying in my cheesecake podcast, where we are in pursuit of living life abundantly, not held back by our body size or symptoms. Nor are we held back by our hurts, habits, or other obstacles in life. Learn the secrets to crush it in your health, wellness, relationships, and spiritual life. I am Danielle, your host and practitioner.

And in this episode, I don’t know where we’re going. Has that been that way the last couple of weeks? I don’t know where we’re going. You guys, I have been up since 3 20 AM today. I got back from Australia. Um, on Sunday, like I guess Sunday morning around midnight, um, a little after 30, I walked in the door and then I got up and, you know, I went to, or I ate a little bit and then I went to bed, showered, went to bed, and then I got up and went to church just as if nothing was abnormal and just tried to really throw myself into, uh, the world.

life again without really taking a break and without even thinking about what that would do. But also I was so rushed, I guess I would say, and so out of it on my way back that I forgot to use any and all of my jet lag relief stuff from Boiron. I don’t know how to pronounce it, but the homeopathy jet lag relief.

It is phenomenal if you don’t use it and you travel through different time zones. And when I say real time zones, I mean like, uh, 15, 14 hours ahead or behind or whatever it may be, that actually it’s almost like a reverse flip opposite of your day, uh, jet lag relief really works. It’s very, very helpful.

So I don’t know where this episode is going. I do know that I’m going to kind of debrief a little bit about what went on in Australia. So I will just go ahead and dive in. Um, I, a lot has happened and re acclimating back into real life has not been as easy as I thought it would. So on, uh, I left the United States on a Thursday.

So I left home on a Thursday and ended up arriving in New York. Sydney, Australia on a Saturday. And then I had to add a little bit of a layover and had to, uh, catch a flight from Sydney to sunshine coast. How beautiful is that to call a town? Sunshine coast. So I hopped a flight to sunshine coast and then a dear friend, Jo Clark.

She also has a beautiful podcast. Um, and I’m going to look it up here while I’m. Um, while I’m talking here, but she picked me up and it was just again, beautiful to have a community come around me, pick me up, take care of me as if I was just one of their own. And the hospitality is amazing. Like no other there.

Uh, Joe Clark’s podcast is called redefining midlife with Jo Clark She is phenomenal. So anyway, she picked me up and then took me across the I guess we we drove the coast heading north and west Into Sydney and our retreat was in a town called Noosa in Oosa kind of like the yogurt, but just so you know, the Noosa yogurt is not made in Noosa There are no cows anywhere near Noosa It is very, uh, what do I want to call it?

It’s very upscale area, very beach town, um, just like a strip of shopping stores kinds of things and restaurants. It definitely does not have cows there. So the Noosa yogurt is actually not from Noosa or based out of Noosa. Um, Anyway, she took me there, she took me to a beach club to get a drink and then we walked on the beach a little bit and then we stopped at the grocery store and then headed home and I sat in a deep soaker tub and just relaxed.

She made me some tea so I could have some tea while I was in the tub and that started my retreat. And it is a retreat that I go to every, uh, every six months, it’s a retreat I go to because it is a place of women who are like minded in that, not that we necessarily believe the same things, you know, spiritually, maybe we don’t have the exact same outlook on life, But you know what we do have is this idea of how women can be full on leaders but also business owners and also moms and great wives and great moms and very present that we don’t have to work and Strive so hard to keep up with our masculine counterparts, but instead we can live and embody Who we actually are.

And it is honestly, this group I’m part of, it’s honestly the first time I’ve been able to give my full self, um, into a large group like this. And I say large group, it’s got 25, 30 women. Um, most of them are from Australia, a few from New Zealand. I don’t think there’s anybody from any other countries except for two of us from the United States.

And I was the only one there from, The United States there. So, um, that was, that was fun. It was fun to be the only, you know, American there. But I, when I think about part of my part in my brain, not keeping up with where I want to go, um, part of the reason why I’m part of this group and I continue to be part of this group is that we all are able to bring our full selves to the table.

Um, many of us have been hurt by others competitiveness. There is a competitiveness within women and the culture of women. There is a cattiness when you get around a bunch of women. There are women that feel insecure when a strong dominant woman walks into the room and then they project or question or start to feel sensitive.

And this is a space where I don’t have to worry. That I’m going to scare someone away. Have you ever felt like that before? Have you ever felt like you walk into a room and you automatically know that you need to shrink yourself so people can relate to you? Or you need to shrink yourself so people can understand you and not scare them away?

Have you ever walked into a room, even if it’s a chat room, an online group, anything like that, and felt like you just had to kowtow, and not in a negative way, But you had to submit and surrender your need for fulfillment for everybody else. I know what that’s like. I have lived most of my life in the outskirts, shrinking myself so that other people can fit in.

And one of my takeaways from this retreat was that I have been living in a space of stress, misalignment, now it has gotten better, don’t get me wrong, I’ve done so much better, But stress is still seeping in. I’m not burnt out. So that’s a win, right? I’m not burnt out. There is misalignment in my life.

There is fear in my life. There’s a scarcity mindset in my life. And there is an underlying feeling of defeat in my life. And we address this while there. And I think it all stems with me feeling scarcity of not having a community around me that I can call on for a cup of coffee. I literally don’t have many people that can hold all of me and go get a cup of coffee with me.

They, I know I have people in my life that love me. Don’t get me wrong. I know that I have people in my life that are my biggest encouragers and biggest cheerleaders. I have that. But most of the people that truly thoroughly and fully get me and can, and can challenge me and tell me truth and that have been given permission to speak into my life, they don’t live near me.

Most of them don’t. There are four eyeballs under my roof that can do that, but it’s not the same. And I think my misalignment came when I shrunk myself out of scarcity of not having someone near me to go get coffee with, to go adventure and do life with. Another female to go kayaking, to go hiking, to go explore the world with.

Again, there aren’t many people that, many women specifically, that are in good enough shape to go with me and do those things, let alone close enough by, let alone enjoy it, right? I allowed myself to be misaligned with specific people in my life. And that has caused a lot of suffering, that’s caused a lot of fear, caused a lot of scarcity and like, um, like underlying defeat.

And that is something that is so present in my life and so real in my life that I understand so thoroughly. And there is a need for a space for women who feel the same, who love Jesus, who need another community to be able to come forward and bring their whole selves to and still be loved. A space strong enough with a leadership that allows you to come with your mess and then sort it out together in community.

Because I thoroughly believe that in being in a safe space, once you know that you’re in a safe space, you can be vulnerable. And then once you are vulnerable, that allows people to connect with you and understand like, you’re a person too. You also have struggles. Oh my goodness. I struggle with that too.

Or, oh my gosh, I have overcome this. Let me help you. Let me jump in and be part of your team. Because then that is when change happens. Human, I’m sorry, vulnerability leads to human connection, which then leads to change. Because we see someone on the other side. So we know that we have hope. We can get through it.

We see people that are sharing their vulnerabilities and like, Oh my gosh, and they were coming, they have been surrounded with love and uplifted and encouraged. And now they’re a whole new person. Oh my gosh, that’s available to me too. That’s what I am doing inside the wilderness of wellness. The wilderness of wellness, when someone asks me what it is, I have a very hard time describing it.

Because it literally is not only nutrition coaching, health coaching. It is also like got naturopathy in there. It’s also got, um, all the pieces of what, who I am in there, how I coach and mentor my one to one clients at very high levels, it’s in there, all of the methods, all of the things that I share and do it’s in there, but it’s not just that.

It’s also this fostering of a safe community for you to share vulnerabilities, for you to be life coached, for you to be lifestyle coached, for you to be supported in your recipes and, and in your food and in your healthy habits, your mindset, your breakthroughs, getting past the guilt and shame of life, getting past all of that, but also Jesus.

There’s also devotionals in there. There’s also a, a very deep underlying sense of a presence of a, of a purpose of why we are trying to take radical responsibilities of our lives. The wilderness of wellness is, was born out of this idea that inside the wilderness, we can feel lost. We can see a trail. But we’re not sure when it’s going to end.

There’s all of these obstacles and there’s all of these things that we may meet. There’s so much unknown. And it’s very parallel to when the Israelites were in the wilderness. The promised land was just on the other side and yet they toiled and complained and they didn’t have, they had guidance, but they just kept complaining.

They wanted so much more. They wanted answers today. They wanted instant gratification. And just like in the wilderness of wellness, we do not preach instant gratification. It’s about long term satisfaction. It’s about the space where you are doing the healthy habits that actually matter. You know, this morning I was on Instagram because again, I was up so early.

Um, I need, or I was looking at, I think his handle is Syatt, S Y A T T. I’m going to look it up here. Syatt Fitness, I think is his name. Uh, yes, Jordan Syatt, he actually made a post, uh, it’s a carousel slide. So 10 photos, and it says, this was me in 2016. I had a very low body fat. I was an elite power lifter and I was taking pictures with my towel entirely too low.

You might look at this picture and think I looked great, but let me tell you the truth. First, I had zero balance in my life. I wasn’t going out to restaurants and having fun with friends. I wasn’t enjoying my favorite books on a regular basis. I hadn’t missed a workout in five years, seriously. Not to mention, staying this lean felt absolutely miserable.

I was chronically tired, hungry, anxious, and I never actually liked how I looked. Not only that, but I was so scared of gaining body fat. The thought of letting, of eating something quote unquote bad legitimately gave me anxiety. To put it simply, I wasn’t enjoying my life. I put so much time and effort and energy into getting and staying as lean as possible.

I wasn’t able to actually enjoy it. My whole life was centered around having a low body fat, which might look cool in the picture, but in real life, he used the word, the effing, the F word, it effing sucked. And I was no fun to be around. Nowadays, I weigh about 20 pounds more with more body fat, but also more health.

More balance and more confidence. I still work out. I’m still strong. I’m still flexible. I’m still conditioned I still prioritize my fitness. I just don’t let fitness take over my entire life And now that I have a wife a daughter and another girl on the way My health is more important to me than it ever will be or ever was before And I share this with you because this is what I wish someone had said to me, especially when I was so obsessively focused on staying as lean as possible.

Because it wasn’t until I stopped focusing on how I looked and started focusing on how I feel that I actually developed balance in my health and fitness. And I’m noticing this trend with some gentlemen that I used to allow lead me. Their lives are changing and everything is all about getting as lean and shrinking themselves as much as possible.

All the while smoking cigars and drinking alcohol non stop. They’ve changed. And when one area of our lives are out of control, another area has to get so tightly controlled. That’s the addictive mindset. How do I know? Because I have it. The addictive mindset is, you know, this is like my eating is out of control.

So I’m going to hunker down and be so focused and have a rigid, uh, workout routine, or I’m gonna have a very rigid way that I clean my house, almost obsessive compulsive. It could be mis misconstrued as obsessive ADHD. But when there’s no balance and we are so obsessed with something, we need called out on it, don’t we?

I know I want called out on it because I want and desire balance. Balance is no longer available to us in our flesh. Balance is not something that we can just do on our own. We are not meant to live life alone. And the wilderness of wellness is that space where I am offering a space or a safe opportunity for you to bring your full self to the table.

And you know, when people join groups and people have all of these expectations of joining things, they think that they’re going to get behind that there’s a start date and an end date. There is no start date and there is no end date. There’s a welcome date. We’re going to welcome you in, but there is no end date, which means that you cannot get behind in this community.

You go at your own pace. If you can’t show up to the live meetings, that’s fine. There’s no obligation to be at the live meetings. Will you get more support out of it? Absolutely you will. But if you submit a question before the live meeting, I can answer that on that live call for you. I can coach you from that live call even if you’re not there.

You know, something that I noticed when I was working one to one with my patients and clients in the past, it’s, I could not be there. I was overextending myself by giving myself to my clients 24 seven, 24 seven. I would, I was obsessively checking my phone to make sure that nobody needed me. And you know what that did?

It created a dependence on me. And that did, that caused me to burn out. That was my fault. It caused me to burn out. But you know what was missing was community. The community aspect of people learning from others. Maybe I have said something to one client that I totally didn’t even think it would land with another, or completely forgot, didn’t think it was that important.

But it lands hard with somebody and they can share what I’ve taught them. It’s a ripple effect. One to ones are awesome, but community is where the rubber meets the road. And that’s what we’re doing in the wilderness of wellness. That’s what I got to experience at this retreat. I got to experience a space, again, where I could be poured into.

Where my mental health was addressed. Where my physical health was addressed. Where my joy, my freedom filled life was addressed. And where I was blocking myself. You know, this is actually the first year that I will be offering an in person retreat for the Wilderness of Wellness. I’m so excited. I’m actually opening it up to the current ladies that are in there.

Uh, probably this Friday, I’ll be opening it up and letting them know that they can get registered here shortly, at least express their interest, but the retreat is in June. And I’m so excited to bring these ladies together in under one roof and support them in ways that are meaningful to them. Support them in ways that will not only build their connections deeper, but also help get them to a deeper space because of helping them let go.

Let go of what no longer belongs to them. What is no longer useful for them. Let go of the things that are holding them back. And in this retreat, it’s going to be in my office building, and we’re going to have worship, we’re going to have meals, we are going to have fun non alcoholic drinks and nightcaps and fun things like that.

But even more so, we’re We are going to get the opportunity to do life together in person to build those connections so that when we go back online to our group in our private portal that is owned by me, not any other software, anything like that, just owned by me, that those relationships will mean even more.

Now these women are coming from all over the, all over the country and I am so excited to see them here. I’m so excited to get them together. I’m so excited that It’s a space for them to go deeper. And some other things that we talked about in retreat and maybe not even at retreat, but what I got is where the, some of the most important pieces of retreat where the sidebar conversations, yes, the lessons and the presentations were great.

Don’t get me wrong. Like those were very useful, but it’s the sidebar conversations where someone told me multiple people came up and said, the wisdom that you have. is so I, this, you know, 67 year old woman was just like the wisdom you have to like take something and think of it this way. She’s like, I would have never done that.

People seen me, do you see what that is? It feels awkward and weird sometimes. And I even told her, I’m like, I appreciate this. I really am grateful that you see me. Thank you for that encouragement. Thank you for the, for the uplifting words. But also I’m going to be honest with you and say it’s very uncomfortable, uncomfortable for me to hear that.

What’s comfortable for me to hear is I’m doing something because of something you taught me, but it’s uncomfortable for me to receive praise. And I’m going to share this here because why not guys? You are part of my community. Um, it’s uncomfortable for me to receive praise because here’s an example.

What was it? Saturday, Saturday morning, which would have been Friday local time and Friday, sometime local time. And I had just come back from breakfast and I got on Instagram and shared my stories to Facebook, my business Facebook page. And I was just saying, Hey, or good morning from Sydney, blah, blah, blah.

I’m going to start my trek home, that kind of thing. And talked about a little bit about the wilderness of wellness and the wait list and so forth. I got a text message from my mother. And it said, check your eye, check your left eyebrow.

That was it. Check your left eyebrow friend hearing this. If you have experiences where you are critiqued for everything, for the way you look, the way you talk, the way you go through life, those people do not get a say in your life. They are not making you any better. They are not helpful. Do not go to people for advice or take their criticism if you wouldn’t go to them for advice in the first place.

I went back and looked at my stories and I was like, I don’t see what’s wrong with my eyebrows, whatever. I didn’t have makeup on, which was probably actually the problem. I didn’t have any makeup on. It was travel day. I wasn’t planning on putting any makeup. I mean, I was traveling. I think it ended up being about 29 hours.

is how long I traveled. And I’m like, I wasn’t going to put makeup on. You know, I came home and I smelled ripe, like so bad. My kids wanted to hug me and then they were like, Mom. And I’m like, I know guys. I know I haven’t showered. I get it. Um, but it’s things like that, that tell me like, you don’t know that story.

You don’t know the amount of times I’ve been ridiculed for the way I look, especially by someone that shouldn’t be doing that. Did she have the best interest at my heart at heart? I’m sure she did, but those are projections of her insecurity on me. Knowing that is helpful, but it doesn’t make it sting any less.

There was also an incident where, um, someone was intimidated by one of my Instagram reels, or I guess it was an Instagram live. Someone was intimidated and triggered. Someone that I know in person. And the person wanted to put a disclaimer in front of my post. And I said, if you have to put a disclaimer in front of my post, then you don’t need to share it.

I think we forget that we deserve to be around people who get us. We deserve to be around people who want to do life with us and don’t feel competition. Don’t feel that they have to fix you. Don’t feel that they have to manipulate you. Don’t feel like they have to shame you and don’t feel like you have to defend yourself to them.

The wilderness of wellness is something completely different than you’ll have ever walked into before. We don’t start telling you what to eat and how to eat and all of those things because that doesn’t work. You can join any other, if you want to do that and you want to start there like you’ve done however many times in the past, go ahead and find a different dining plan, a different place to go, but I’m going to address your mindset.

your identity, who you believe you are. I’m going to make sure that you understand what your values are, what your priorities are, that you can even handle one habit, that you can actually set realistic goals and we do that together. I’m going to make sure you understand what doing life together looks like.

I’m going to put you in a small group of ladies that can encourage you and fulfill you and not fulfill you, but fulfill the need of connection. Have true authentic friendships. You know, we joined Facebook groups all of the time, don’t we? We joined Facebook groups all of the time. And there is this thing that Facebook groups are so surfacy.

We’re not on Facebook. I will not be on Facebook. Facebook is not a safe space. Facebook is very surfacy in that you can scroll and see what’s going on in people’s lives. You don’t even have to comment, but that’s not connection. It’s just reading a newspaper or a magazine about your friend or your quote unquote friend or acquaintance about what they want to share.

The wilderness of wellness is a deeper space. It’s connection. It’s authenticity. It’s raw. It’s helping each other overcome obstacles. It’s living real life together sharing what is not a Facebook highlight or a social media highlight reel. It’s like minded women coming together to overcome the obstacles in life and talk about what’s actually going on in their lives, the rapport and the safe space.

If this is something that you have been craving, these relationships, this deeper connection along with your health, along with addressing your health, along with addressing your spiritual life, along with addressing other things, then the Wilderness of Wellness is for you. The doors open next week If you’re listening to this and it’s after that, check the waitlist below.

There will be an updated waitlist link down below for you. But if you are like, yes, I’m in, I want this. Go ahead and click that waitlist link in the, in the show notes, put your email address on there. And I’m going to send you not only the opportunity to join early, but you’re also going to get a locked in price, a locked in price of some, it’s less than a Starbucks a day.

Less than a Starbucks, actually a less than a Starbucks tall coffee a day. So less than two dollars a day it’s also Going to if you’re on the waitlist, you also get a four hundred and ninety nine dollar valued option for free where you get to submit a a Symptom burden assessment to me and I personally will create a customized plan for you based on that symptom burden all for free Just for getting on that waitlist and joining the Wilderness of Wellness when the doors open for my waitlisters.

I know that the space is for you if you feel the calling that you need to do something different. If you need that space, that community, you want the retreats, you want that connection all the while changing your health status. It’s here for you. Join the waitlist now.

Thanks for listening to the crying in my cheesecake podcast. I hope it encouraged you to make a next best step for your health. Take a look at the show notes for more information or other links. I mentioned in the episode, and if you got to this point in the episode, come find me on Instagram and send me a DM at crying in my cheesecake.

Tell me you listened to this episode and what you got out of it.

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hey, i’m Danielle

I love Jesus. I love my family. And I get joy from having a front row view of people growing toward their goals because of what I’ve taught.

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