It’s in depth of my bones. It’s in the air. The kids know it’s coming. The last days are here that I’ll be a mom to two of the most precious gifts ever created in my life. Two gifts that were prayed over before they were even conceived. Two gifts that were fought for to bring into this world healthy.
Enjoying the warmth and sun on a warm February Sunday afternoon. Right before regular contractions set in.
Two gifts that are inseparable. They actually miss each other when separated for even a few short hours. I miss them terribly when away from them for even a few short hours.
When Daylan was almost 1, Dietrich started preschool. Just a couple hours two days a week. Since then she and I have had fun times running the town together, just us girls. In August she starts her school journey and I will no longer have my errand running buddy. She probably won’t be there for the Chick Fil A breakfast dates.
The two kids and I, after picking Dietrich up from school, would go about our adventures: Children’s Museum, Zoo, Play dates, picnics, inside playgrounds, lunches just the three of us.
Dinner after church last Saturday.
Life is about to change. Instead of it being the three of us, it will be the four of us (5 when Daddy’s not working) running the town.
And the kids feel it. Mama’s not acting the same. We haven’t left the house to do anything other than get Dietrich to school and get him picked up. Mama hasn’t left the couch much. It has gotten so bad Daylan asked, “Mommy, can I get dressed and let’s go do something.” My heart broke at her request. I don’t think I felt broken because of the request in itself because the kids always ask anyway what our plans are for the next day as they’re going to bed or when they wake up they confirm the plans for the day. No, I think my heart broke because I realized the end really is near and the dynamics of our every day life are going to change.
And change is scary.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt this comfortable having a new baby. In fact, I’ve been super relaxed about it. Only had like one day of nesting, I got things around in the house ready to go. But everything is super relaxed. Completely out of nature for my control-freak nature. I’m not even concerned with the questions of having another like, “Will I love this one as much as I love the other two?” Because I’m already in love with this baby boy more than he’ll ever know and I cannot wait to meet him. The change I’m most worried about is the dynamics of the family.
How will this baby fit into our already tight-knit family?
How will this baby fit into the tight-knit relationship the two others already have?
Will this baby feel like he’s a misfit because he’s 3 ½ years and then 5 ½ years apart from his siblings?
Will this baby be as independent as the other two?
And more.
Little Man’s foot. I have so very low fluid that the face pictures are very contorted and not very clear. But he does have a huge foot! 3″ not including toes 🙂
So while this new little man is finishing up his last moments growing and maturing inside my body, I’ll continue to rejoice in the gifts I have in front of my face. I will love on them, cuddle them, and continue to let them know how important they are to me and how important they are to this little man that’s coming into the world sooner than later.
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