It’s the Thursday before Valentine’s Day.
Monday I freaked out because I wasn’t sure when my son’s Valentine’s party at school was. I mean it is either Tuesday (the next day) or it is Thursday as he only goes to preschool two days a week for a couple hours in the morning.
So I ran to the local Family Dollar store and picked up some Monster’s University Valentine’s Trading cards or whatever they are called, a bag of candy mixed with fun-sized M&Ms, Snickers and Twix bars, and shaving cream. Yeah, I knew I signed up to donate shaving cream for an activity, but didn’t know that date either.
I get home and text another mama who has a boy in class with my son and she calms my fears by telling me the party is Thursday.
Phew! I am now ready for the party. We can take our time getting things together and my son won’t miss out on anything.
We fill out the Valentine’s cards, pack some candy for the other children, and throw it all in his bappap (to the rest of us that would be backpack) which is also a Monster’s character, Sully.
This morning I drop him off in my gym clothes and running shoes. He’s excited for his party and fun. My husband was flying nights tonight so I went straight to the gym. I got a great work out in. I came home and ate breakfast, showered, and relaxed with a cup of coffee. Then at about 10:30 I start packing up and getting around to go pick up Little Man. My daughter and I pull into the parking lot like normal to get a place in the pick-up line and I notice it is unusually short. I also notice there are a about 5 or 6 familiar vehicles parked in the parking lot.
My heart sank.
Gut-punched sank.
I pull into line, text that sweet mama that helps keep me in line and my gut-punched fear was confirmed in her reply. That Valentine’s party was an invitation for parents to come celebrate.
I start counting the vehicles parked again, maybe it isn’t so bad. I mean other parents work, right? There were 5 or 6. Dietrich’s class is a class of 9.
Gut-punched deeper.
From that point on I could have chosen to react. Punish myself. Freak out. Doubt my abilities. Over compensate later. But I didn’t.
I chose to act.
I’m on this path of applying my knowledge of who I am in Christ to my real life and real life situations. Instead of freaking out, I sought out encouragement and uplifting reminders of just who I am. I refused to let the enemy attack me and allow my mind to follow his downward spiral.
One of my beautiful friends said, “Good news is by the time you get home, it won’t even be remembered.” How true! She reminded me of what I already knew–God allows us to grow with our children. When they are infants and know nothing, we also know nothing about what it takes to parent that child (learning that each one is different!). I learned that my son will quickly forget because he doesn’t know any better yet, just like I didn’t know any better about this darn party. It also quickly took my focus off of my screw up and onto the future. I learned my lesson and will check in more to understand what is expected of me in situations that could be important to others I love.
I’m so thankful that I’ve chosen to surround myself with positive and encouraging people. Remember me talking about how I knew my life needed to look different? That’s part of it. Surrounding myself with other encouraging people has really helped me keep my focus straight ahead.
I actually had the thought to seek support instead of reacting in the ways I mentioned above that could have sabotaged something later in my relationship with my son or our expectations of each other. See, if I hadn’t taken this mindset, then I’d have let this situation control me. I am in control. Choosing is an active verb. You actually do it or you don’t. Simple.
Thank you to all of you who help keep me uplifted and inspired.
So what will you choose to do? Are you inspired yet to go along on this journey with me? What’s holding you back?
