Rediscovering Identity and Confidence Through Personal Style

In this insightful podcast conversation, Danielle and guest Sonya Choi La Rosa from Your Styled Collective, explore the transformative journey of rediscovering one’s identity and confidence through personal style. Sonya shares her own experiences of climbing the corporate ladder while feeling pressured to conform to certain beauty standards. Struggling to balance motherhood and career ambitions, she realized that she needed to embrace her authentic self.

The conversation delves into the challenges of post-pregnancy body changes, the impact of societal beauty norms, and the importance of feeling comfortable and confident in one’s clothing. Sonya emphasizes that personal style isn’t just about fashion; it’s a tool for building self-assurance and making a lasting impression in any setting, including the corporate world.

Danielle and Sonya discuss how aligning one’s outward appearance with their inner self can boost confidence, allowing individuals to focus on their goals and aspirations rather than being preoccupied with clothing discomfort.

This engaging conversation explores the profound connection between personal style and self-esteem, encouraging listeners to embrace their uniqueness and live life abundantly without being held back by body size or societal expectations.

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Transcription

 Welcome to the crying in my cheesecake podcast, where we are in pursuit of living life abundantly, not held back by our body size or symptoms, nor are we held back by our hurts habits or other obstacles in life. Learn the secrets to crush it in your health, wellness, relationships, and spiritual life. I am Danielle, your host and practitioner.

And in this episode, you guys, I have my first international friend. On here, she is from Australia. Her name is Sonia. She is from Your Style Collective, and I am so excited for you guys to meet her. I met her back in January, I think, of 2023. And we have become fast friends. We were part of a small group together, and she, I just, every time she kept talking, I knew that she needed to be on my podcast episode.

I needed to bring her in somewhere. because she is a style, a stylist. And it’s not just about style. I want you to think about those of you listening. I want you to think about how many times you go to your closet and you feel depressed, anxious, overwhelmed. You feel like you have nothing to wear. You feel like you look good at nothing.

And then that confidence afterwards of putting those clothes on and leaving the house, you just feel maybe not your best. I always say your outsides match your insides and we need to flip that and your clothes can be that instant sort of confidence moving forward. Because when we feel good, we do good things.

When we feel good, we show up for ourselves. When we feel good, we make good decisions. And so join me in this episode with my friend Sonia at Your Style Collective. And as we both flesh through this idea of clothing, identity. Personal brand, femininity, and many other pieces like body types and tips and things.

It’s so good and so rich with content. You may want to take notes because I did too while I was talking to her. So have a listen and I hope you get as much from this episode as I did.

Welcome, Sonia, to the crying of my cheesecake podcast. I am so glad you’re here. And listeners, those of you listening right now are here for an amazing treat. My friend Sonia is someone I met through a high level mastermind Um, I guess group in, she’s out of Australia and I have Australia friends. How cool.

That sounds makes me sound worldly and like, so cool. Um, she’s over here laughing. I can see her. You cannot, but she’s over here laughing and giggling at me, but it’s so cool to say I have friends in Australia. Anyway, Sonia is an amazing career woman. She’s a businesswoman. She is also in, um, I guess I would say real world, um, career fields as well, like tech and so forth.

And she is, um, someone who knows what it’s like to be a mom, to be a busy woman and a wife and all the things and have to look apart. And she wants to feel good while looking that part and doing her roles. And she is, I don’t even know how to describe this because she’s made me think of clothes differently.

How many times have you gone to your closet and just said, I have nothing to wear. Sonia is a genius about putting things together to make you feel back in control, back confident in your body, in your body size, and going out and doing this thing. Sonia, thank you for joining me.

Thank you, Danielle. I’m so excited to be here.

I can actually say I’ve been on an international podcast now. So you’ve got Australian friends and you’re an international. So I’m, I’m really thrilled to be here, Danielle. I love the work that you do. So thank you so much for having me.

Yes. I’m so excited to dive into this idea of, you know, What is a wardrobe?

When I met you, I thought a wardrobe was like a bunch of clothes. I thought, I honestly didn’t know. I thought it was this armoire type closet, which, and that is totally my ignorance, you guys. Um, totally my ignorance because I was just telling her before we got on here. I said, I’m going to need some help too, because I’m in a t shirt and jean shorts almost all summer or gym clothes.

So I definitely need some help with my style and what looks good. Um, but also thinking about. Am I buying the right clothes for my body? Am I, just because it’s on the, on the rack, does it, does it fit me? Does it look right on me? Does it give the appearance I want? Sonia, talk to us about how you even got into this whole fashion and styling.

Yeah, sure. Um, look, if I had to take myself back 10 years or so, I was busily climbing that corporate ladder. Um, and I had lots of aspirations to really reach that top. But the issue for me was that I had had children. And, um, by that stage, it was, I was running around crazy, busily trying to do that. And I was turning up and everyone, every female that I looked up to.

Was a certain size, um, war, a certain kind of look and actually looked perfect, untouchable. And yet when I looked in the mirror at the time, I probably was wearing a bit of Jersey, a little bit of black, you know, and I looked a bit frazzled to be honest, you know, as, as you do, I just didn’t have the time.

And so I thought, Oh my goodness, the only way I’m going to get seen, um, to, to reach. Those higher levels is I’m going to have to dress like these ladies who were tottering around in five inch heels, you know, slim pencil skirts, that type of thing. And so I tried and I tried for a little bit and I just felt exhausted.

So I was the one with the sneakers in the bag swap out as I run back home to go pick up the kids, do all of that and get home. And, um, I realized after doing that for time and time again that actually I just didn’t feel like me anymore. It, it just, and I know this word’s overused now, but I didn’t feel authentic to who I was.

Um, I could never have that perfect hair. Uh, you know, it was all of those things came together. And that for me was a real trigger point to say for someone who had, uh, grown up and always felt a little bit different to everyone else because of my background. I’m Eurasian. Um, so I. Decided at that point to say, you know, I love fashion, but what they’re wearing isn’t me.

And so it took me a little bit of time, but I had to go back through this whole self discovery process and actually find out who was I now after having kids. Um, I was 20, I had gone 20 kilos heavier after having my, my kids. And then I dropped a bit of weight back, but I, I, I had never been the way I was prior to.

And so I didn’t know who that was anymore. Every photo of me was, um, half shot because I didn’t want to say the bottom half of me. And so, and a lot of it was wearing a lot of black and dark colors. Cause I just. And so it went through the self discovery of, of trying to figure out who I was anymore, who I was when I wasn’t mom, um, who I wanted to be at, at work and through that process actually started to step into.

Um, and discover what did I really like now? Um, what made me feel good when I had it on? What made me feel more confident when I stepped into a room of individuals and didn’t feel like people were staring at me? And as I worked through that, I came at the other side being, um, I don’t have to wear five inch heels.

I can wear flats and still be seen as confident and as recognized. I can wear something that isn’t a slim fitting suit. To actually something that would suit my body shape and, and move through, through that. And so that then led me, uh, to a time where I decided, well, you know what, if I can do this for me, I want to be able to do it for others as well, because everyone deserves to feel good in what they’re wearing and not feel like what they’re saying around, whether it’s in social media or in their circles, that that’s what they should be wearing.

Even though it doesn’t feel like them. Um, and so then it led sort of onto me, um, getting my accreditation as a personal stylist and style coach, um, really focusing on personal brand and, and understanding what that was to create that connection between the two.

I’m taking notes because you have so much good already within like two minutes of starting this, uh, you’re taking this off like just amazing.

So you’ve said a couple of things and something you literally just said was, um, Like you’re talking about like identity and being able to go out in confidence and so forth and that’s, that’s kind of what I’m doing here at crying in my cheesecake and the services that we offer here is I want you to go out and live life abundantly, not held back by your body size or symptoms and this fear or lack of confidence of going out in public or fear of people seeing from, you know, stomach down or whatever it may be from chest down.

Thank you. That is a symptom holding a lot of women back, and I love that you just shared some of your story here, too, because, uh, this identity crisis that we have, I don’t think men really have an identity crisis, we have one at puberty, we have one when we get married, we have one when we have kids, we have one when the kids leave, we have one when we’re through menopause, like, what, like, we have all these identity crisis, Crisis and that is a piece of our story and that’s another opportunity for us to step into this new person.

So I love that you brought that up and I want to go through that a little bit more, but something about identity you also brought up was femininity. This idea of what a fem, a female looks like the way she, and the way you kind of described her just like floating through with these five inch heels and these tailored fitted suits that were perfect for this five foot nine, 10 woman that, you know, is a Victoria’s Secret model, that kind of thing.

Because I’ve always struggled. With feeling masculine because I have a taller body, I have a wider, I have, my shoulders are ridiculously wide and they’re strong, but I did not know that I identified as I didn’t fit in because I couldn’t fit in those clothes that those women were wearing. I must not fit in.

I must not fit into this idea of feminine, like a female, like the female roles. So like this idea of being able to dress ourselves in a way that makes us feel feminine, makes us step into our new roles and identities is huge. And that happens at no matter what size we are. Because like you said, you, when, after we have babies, things don’t go back the way they were before.

Um, especially when you have multiple, you know, sequential pregnancies and so forth, things don’t go back there. And there’s this body dys, dys, is it dysmorphia? Is that what it’s called? Where you kind of just don’t know what body you’re in. Yeah. So you help women because of your own Experience you went through, you know how hard it is to go out in the corporate world to go out in life and not feel what was the word that you said?

I cannot remember what you said, but not feel like for us. I would say frumpy, like to not feel so frumpy as a new mom or in this weird, awkward stage. You experienced all of these emotions. You experienced all of these changes. How did that impact where you are now?

Yeah. So, so I think what it really does is when you feel like you’ve got that right, you, you understand your body, you appreciate your body and you find pieces that work for you and you, you have a good grasp of your style.

Then instantly. Now, if I’m walking into a meeting, uh, if I’m networking or anything like that, I’m not, thinking about my clothes and how, what the perception is, because I know that I feel confident in what I’m wearing. So it’s. I’m focusing on what’s the conversation that I need to be having right now. Um, and that has actually helped me, um, sort of step out from, I’m, I’m naturally an introvert, but, you know, I think many introverts teach themselves how to be extroverts and, um, what.

What that’s enabled is that I’ve put myself into situations, which has actually helped that career ladder. So the, so getting to GM, um, was very much because I’d found my style. Um, through that process, because I wouldn’t have put myself into those situations. I wouldn’t have spoken up in a room, um, that was predominantly male dominated.

If. I didn’t feel like I was confident in what I was wearing and I was confident in what I had to say, which then sort of backed up. And I think many of us, we are intelligent, strong, um, you know, females, and yet. It’s other things or other insecurities or beliefs that we have internally that maybe no one else in the room is thinking, um, that, that holds us back.

And you, you said something about clothes fitting and not thinking about or not worried about your clothes and you can focus on what you’re walking into in that meeting. How many times have we put on a bra, for example, this is the best example. You put on a bra that underwire digging into the, into the, you know, the side boob or whatever it is in your armpit.

And all you can think about is that dang wire and you need to go adjust it. But yet you’re in this really important meeting or you’re like in a place that you cannot touch it. So you like do the little wiggle and try to like figure it out and it doesn’t work. But that’s on your mind. How many times has that kept us back in other situations?

How many times? Yeah. Like, and how many times are we just going with what’s in our closet? And it doesn’t fit us or how many times do we walk into our closet and say, I have nothing to wear. And what do you think the root of that is? Why is it when we walk into our closet, we feel like we have nothing to wear?

Yeah, that’s that’s a

really interesting one. Um, a lot of times it can be a combination of things, but if, if you really pair it back either a what’s staring back at you actually doesn’t represent who you are today. It’s potentially something that. Is you might have pieces in there that was from yesteryear that you love, which is great.

And, and you’ve got a goal that you want to get back into them or, um, anything like that, but it’s sitting there, but yet. If it doesn’t fit right now, then you’re looking at the rest of the wardrobe to say, well, where are those pieces that resonate with me? You know, that, that, so it’s not only looking to the wardrobe to say, I’ve got nothing to wear.

You know, that feeling where you’ve gone, you’ve grabbed something, you put it on and you have this 10 minute exercise of I put it on, I take it off, I put it on and grab the next thing. I take it off next thing. And then you end up with 15 minutes of trying to figure out. Something isn’t working here, but you’re, you don’t know why.

And again, it’s, it’s that piece because it’s not fulfilling the person you are today. Your style has potentially moved on and you need to make sure in that wardrobe, you’ve got pieces that you love and that, you know, really resonate with you and really compliment the beautiful body that you

have today.

Yeah, and how do you go so like for me t shirt and jeans or jean shorts, uh, not the most, uh, stylish in style, uh, outfit I love and I feel the most confident with a blazer and some kind of Sleeveless top on, and I feel most confident because my lats and my shoulders are, they’re like muscular and they don’t always fit into everything perfectly, but I feel put together with a sleeveless shirt on and a blazer over the top, but that is like, that’s all I know.

That’s all. That’s all I know. And so I do have some of those pieces in my closet. How would you think? How would you teach me or a client? How would you teach us to expand upon that? Like, if I know two pieces that work for me and make me feel confident and great, what do I do next? Yeah.

Okay. So I’m going to talk about a bit of a concept, which is called structure and flow.

And so when you talk, when you’re talking about the pieces that you specifically like being the blazer and the sleeve was top. The reason why we gravitate to pieces like that, when it makes us feel more confident is because of the structure in them, right? That level of, so you might see a fitted top or it might be, you know, the blazer.

It’s the, it’s that structure. It’s more sharp lines to it that suddenly. And again, if you touch on your mass, that masculine energy piece. Um, that is what suddenly evokes the feeling of, I feel powerful. I feel confident. I, people can’t mess with me. So that is like a, a piece of armor to some extent now to be able to extend that further, to create a look that enables you to feel confident, but yet still, um, you know, doesn’t mean that you’re walking around in a full blazer and, um, top.

Every day is how do I balance that with something called flow and flow is things like it might be a, um, a skirt or something that’s more flowy in its nature, right? So not necessarily a straight skirt. It might be an A line skirt. It might be, um, so if you’re saying shorts, how, how could you potentially swap out the shorts?

For maybe a, um, a softer looking skirt of some sort or address underneath that, right? Because it’s then creating alternative ways to maintain your structure and confidence piece with actually bringing it down to be a little bit more relaxed. Or, um, if you consider. Let’s say you don’t want to wear the blazer.

How do you create more structure, um, in the pieces that you’re wearing? So is it that you might have, so swap it around and say, I’m going to have more structure at the bottom. So I might be wearing a tailored pant, but I might be wearing a bit more of a. A flowy top of some sort, right? Let’s say as an example, um, to create that sort of feminine masculine balance on the two.

So being the structure, because if you’ve, if you’ve got too much flow, that’s when you might feel like. I don’t feel comfortable. I don’t feel confident in, in this, but there’s also an element of considering trying different pieces to say, where else can I get that same feeling? What other pieces maybe that I’ve been too scared to try because I might’ve seen it on somebody else and thought they look good in it, but my body shapes you and I won’t.

So until you give it a go and see, then you know, for sure. So it’s always good to sort of expand the repertoire a little bit and, and give a few things a different edge.

Um, you just blew my mind because you just psychoanalyzed me through my clothing choices. That was, you saw my soul through my clothing choices.

This is so real. This is why I wanted you on here because there is so much emotional and, um, like identity through our clothing choices. Even, you know, the frumpy clothes that we choose represent how we feel. And I always say. Our outsides match what’s going on on the insides. And so I love what you are doing.

I love what you are offering. And, oh my gosh, you just, I just totally forgot what I was going to ask. Oh, um, so what do we do if we have a bad, uh, experience? Or we have a bad mental state about going to go try these different pieces. How do you teach people to combat that crazy, that mindset that, I’m just not worth the time to go try on.

I’ve got so many more things to do and it’s so expensive anyway. Who’s going to help me? Like, how do you help people say, Okay, you are worth the time to go into a fitting room and go try on some new things. What do you, what does that look like?

Yeah, look, I definitely would say that you’ve got to get so it’s quite overwhelming when you walk into that store and you see a million pieces standing in front of you.

So my I always say when you’re going in, you want to be clear around what you’re going in for. Okay, because if we start smaller to say, okay, I know that I might have a few bits and pieces that, that might be missing from my wardrobe. So if I’m going in, I’m going in for these pieces. Then when you go around that store and you’ve got a better idea of your personal style, so what’s going to resonate with you and you go to grab the different sizes, remember that the size.

and the fit and the cut, that is not about you. That is the store. That is the size that the store might be pitching at. Um, it is not about how It is not a representation of who you are, right? So the clothes in the end, if they don’t look, they don’t fit well, and they may start to, um, make you feel a particular way.

I always get my clients to remember. It is just a number. This is not, I, and to give an example, I am a 14 in a store and I can be a 10 in another store. But what I try to do is to make sure you’re bringing in a couple of different sizes. So you don’t end up in that situation where you feel like I’ve brought in the 12.

Now I need to go ask that sales assistant for a, uh, you know, a different size. It’s always better because that way, you know, you’ve got one up and maybe one down. So you’ve got choice. I want to empower you to have the choice to make a decision. The choice around that. Um, it is not about the size because every store will be a little bit different, uh, around that.

And I know it’s exhausting, um, putting pieces on and not, um, finding the pieces that work for you. And I think what’s really important about that is. Before you go to the store, it’s actually taking an opportunity to, um, understand your body, really. And I know when I work with clients, we do a, um, uh, a session whereby.

We actually take some time to look in the mirror. And I know that the first thing a lot of my clients will do is point out everything that is wrong. And what I try to focus on is actually you have so much more than those areas that pick you up at night or, you know, that you hate. There are so many beautiful aspects of, and I think you mentioned it before, Danielle, you love your shoulders, right?

If you didn’t before, maybe, but now, you know that they are, like, they’re an asset to you. And so I think we need to start to change the narrative we’re telling ourselves when we look in the mirror. Um, because we all have assets. And so it’s actually about how do we play those assets up?

I love that. And I always tell my clients too, I’m like, you know, we have the whole world to tell us one thing.

They can come at us and tell us all the negative. We need to be that powerhouse, that leader inside of us that says, okay, I am good enough, or this is my asset or. pointing out the good things in us because that’s our default. You’re right. We are going to pick apart every single thing that we’ve done wrong because that’s how we were conditioned.

We were conditioned that everything had to be perfect and you, you helped take away that, that, um, lack of. Self esteem that lack of you take away the lack. How about that you take you and you empower and you empower the women to show up fully in who they are and accepting their body shape. Like I don’t care.

I have so many people that come to me wanting to lose weight. That’s why they come to me. But what they actually get. is confidence and that, that mindset shift and that body shift and probably feeling better. Probably their pant size may come down a little bit if they have, if it needs to, but what’s most important is that we acknowledge and accept who our bodies embedded in the existence of what these birds have become and where they are now because you mentioned my shoulders.

And yes, I was very self conscious over them for a very long time. Why? Because my grandmother was self conscious over hers. My mother was self conscious over hers. And so I thought I needed to be. But you know what? My shoulders represent. The strong and powerful woman that I am, that I can hold a lot. I have two boys and a daughter that I can carry, still, thank goodness, um, I probably shouldn’t be, but I do, and I can carry other people’s burdens metaphorically as well through these strong shoulders.

And so, I will look and I don’t know, those of you that follow me on Instagram, I will sometimes post a photo of my shoulders in a shadow in my garage gym. Why? Because I need to lead by example and show you that I’m doing the same thing too. I’m finding something that’s a weakness and making it my superpower.

And that’s what you’re talking about here and getting in the right mindset and the right frame of mind and so forth. Um, you said something about, so can you quickly. For my ignorant brain here. Can you define what a wardrobe is?

Oh, okay. So I think in the US they call it more a closet. Yes. So, um, yeah, so it could be.

So I think we really interchange the two, uh, around that. So when I say wardrobe, I mean, closet, it’s basically wherever. Whether it’s walk in or whether it’s sliding doors, it’s where you’re keeping the items that you wear day to day. So your skirts, your dresses, your pants, your tops, your tees, or your denim, or all of those kind of pieces.

Okay,

and then do you have like a, I don’t know this, I don’t know this at all. Is there like a set number of things in our closet we’re supposed to have? Is there like, because you do a fantastic job. If you guys are not following her, I’m going to link her information below. She does an awesome job of showing you how to dress like the same pieces in different ways.

Talk to us about how do you even set this up? Like, what is normal and what’s excessive?

Yeah, yeah. So I and I would say that there’s this concept out there called a capsule wardrobe. And so with that, there isn’t really a defined number of pieces, it’s actually about some core pieces that you need. in your wardrobe.

So there’s about 11 of those and I have a checklist for that as well. But effectively you’re really looking at is your go to shirt, a go to tee, a go to blazer, a go to dress. Um, I think it’s a pair of great pants, denim. Um, and then it’ll have like a couple of, um, uh, a knit as well. And so if you can start to make sure that you’ve at least got your foundations, right, then from there, what you’re actually doing is then building with some statement pieces here and there.

So if you’re looking at your. Wardrobe and saying, um, I can’t find anything to wear. One of two things might be happening. One, you don’t have enough, um, uh, core staples, which effectively help to bring everything together. Or you may have a lot of statement pieces. So when you go to grab those statement pieces, you’re like, okay, hang on.

I don’t have anything to wear for smart casual. Because they’re all, they don’t go together because they’re quite out there, um, from that aspect. Okay,

that makes so much sense. And that actually feels more, uh, I guess, less overwhelming to me to know I can start with a basis and you have a checklist already ready to go for all of that.

That is fantastic. I don’t know if this is something that you want to get into right now or not, but so if what are the main bodies? Like. I don’t know if we should go into the body types or body types and one good tip or what to do it to help cover a sensitive area that you feel self conscious about.

Like I don’t know whether obviously the midsection is a high self conscious thing but so are like the upper arms on some women.

Yes. Yes. So, um, the way I normally deal with, um, so that midsection, cause you’re absolutely right. Uh, that is one key area that I get asked a lot around and your body shape can be, you know, we talk about, or you’ve, you’ve heard across sort of, um, The years.

Things like people call them particular names or shapes or things like that. In the end, I fundamentally believe you can’t bucket someone into a shape, right? Because if you have a look at some apples, can you tell me, am I that, am I the jazz apple or am I the gran? Uh, the, the Granny Smith apple? There’s multiple versions of of that, right?

So we are. There might be some elements in there that are, um, uh, have similar themes, but in the end, we’re all unique. And so that’s why I always talk about, you need to understand, um, the areas that you love versus the areas that you want to, um, sort of take, take, take away from. And so in that tummy area, it’s actually looking around the lines of the pieces that you’re wearing.

So it might be that instead of, I usually say, looking at like an empire line, if you’re familiar with that, it might be something that gathers a little bit more, um, under the bust and is much looser. Um, as it comes down. And so it skims the body line a little bit more. You want to be looking at proportions.

So where, where is that top landing? Um, I know a lot of us where we’re self conscious around our mid sections, we’ll put a pair of like pair of pants, pair of shorts on, and we’ll say, Oh, I’ve got this loose t shirt over the top because that’s going to make me feel more comfortable. But what you’ve got to look at is actually what is the line doing?

If I was to look at you from a vertical line perspective, If I’ve got a t shirt that crosses right across my midline, what, uh, what that’s actually doing is drawing attention exactly where you don’t want it to draw attention. So potentially either wearing something that’s a little bit more at the, um, your high waist.

Um, so that way you’ve got the line appearing. There is one exam, another example I can see.

That’s brilliant. Cause like, I’m just like thinking out loud. And I’m like, Oh my gosh. Why is it that sometimes when my shirt just like, you know, happens to be up a little higher, like it looks like I look great.

Like that’s what I thought I was trying to look at. And instead when it’s like down across the widest part of my belly and hips, I’m like, Ooh, did I, do I really look like that? That is fantastic. That was a fantastic tip to really look at where the line. And the eye is drawn to

yeah, yeah, it’s, it’s one of those things that I think because we look in the mirror and then we look down and if we’re looking down, we always think, oh my goodness, um, you know, I don’t want to say that, but that’s not how others are looking at us or the reflections looking back at us in the mirror.

So that that’s a really good one to. Yeah, take take note off.

I am going to be looking at my wardrobe completely differently. I’m going to start using the word wardrobe because that makes me sound like I’m worldly as well. Like, like I’m, you know, traveled and things. Um, so I also really just appreciated that you addressed body types the way you did.

I knew I needed you here, um, because so many of my women really get hung up on wanting their bodies to look a certain way. And they don’t necessarily, like you said, they, like the apple shaped body, it may be a jazz, a Granny Smith, it may be… Um, whatever else, there’s different varieties and we are not cookie cutter people just like our health and wellness is not cookie cutter.

Yeah, you’ll probably need some protein. Yeah, you need some fats. Yeah, you need some carbs, but your quantities and ratios from day in and day out and seasonal are not cookie cutter. And it’s just fantastic that you brought that up because I’m just thinking, like, as you’re talking, I’m thinking of specific clients in my mind, and I’m thinking about how much emphasis the younger generations and even the older generations, I say older than me, more mature than me, that they’re going through this crisis as well, this change.

And there’s TikTok, there is, uh, the Instagram Reels, there is Facebook for Bumble and all the things, I don’t even know what I’m talking about at the moment, I’m just gonna, social media that is telling you that you must look a certain way, that this is what it does, and it’s worse than when I was a kid growing up without any of that, and so what would you say it is?

Thanks. Yeah. What would you say to these ladies about their personal style? And because you even said, and this is where I was going with that, you brought up the word per the words personal brand. And I think that people get that dis disconnected or misconstrued. Can you explain what personal brand is and then how they can combat this social media perceptions in their face every single day of what their style should be.

Yeah, sure. Um, so when I talk about personal brand, I’m talking at more from, it’s your unique sense of style. It’s your unique who you are. So in order to understand your personal brand, you need to have a clear picture of what is it I want to be known for. Um, sorry, let me just, uh, what do I want to be known for?

What when I’m not in the room, what is it that one of my values, um, what do I want people to see about me? And it might be there might be three key words that resonates from that aspect. So what we do is actually try to understand, and it’s really peeling back the layers to really better understand. What do you want to represent doesn’t matter in what environment, then taking that and going, okay, how do we then overlay that with your style?

So style has a concept called style categories, or, you know, I think even on TikTok, they talk about three words for your style. So it’s really then going, if I want to be known as professional, sophisticated, um, you know, authentic or things like that, then looking to the style side to then understand, okay, what are the pieces that will help me bring that out even more, but they’ve got to actually resonate together.

So I don’t want a situation where. You’ve got, um, someone saying, let, let’s say I’m a coach and therefore a coach or a business coach is defined as someone who’s got to be wearing a suit. It’s not about that. It’s actually trying to understand who is the person that’s behind the brand and how do we pull the authentic, um, style out of that.

Yes, and that’s what it is. I think that’s exactly. I don’t know. I keep saying this, but it’s like that authentic piece of us. Who would we be? How would we dress? How would we look? How would we, um, present ourselves if we didn’t have all the old programming? Yes. Or we didn’t have any external programming now.

So we have old programming and then we have the old learned and then we have the new from everything going on in culture, right? And I love that you see women for who they are. And then, not just that, but then you help them see what you see. And then you help them look like and live out that confidence of who they are.

It’s Beautiful. And it is a gift and it is a passion that I am just so grateful that you, that you offer, how can these listeners get information about you? What could their next steps be? How do they, how do I get them to you? They need, they, everybody needs you. I need you. Everybody in my world needs you.

Um, tell us about how

to do that. Thank you, Danielle. That’s so lovely. Um, so they can, uh, download my free guide, um, at yourstyledcollective. com. au forward slash, I think it’s styled dash guide, uh, and that they can start to work through that. Um, I’ve got one on one available and I’m opening up my, uh, activate, uh, program.

So exactly, uh, getting you kickstarted, getting you going and learning all those sort of techniques that we talked about, uh, in September. So I’m looking forward, uh, to that as well. So, but reach out and catch me on Instagram, uh, which is at your style collective, send me a DM I’d love

to chat. Oh my gosh, I am so grateful for you.

I know I’m going to be reaching out. I already have been reaching out on DMs for help. Um, but I’m going to be reaching out. I want to download this, this, um, the, the PDF as well and just get started on some help because my closet is full and I’m sure those of you listening, your closet is full of things that you don’t.

Where often it might be just like, Oh, I like that on the rack. Oh my gosh, that looked great on me a couple weeks ago, but you’re not grabbing those things over and over again. And Sonia and I were literally just talking before we started recording about the economy, the downturn in economy. Why not feel great?

And live on a budget, like with our clothes, and it, budget clothes doesn’t mean that you have crappy clothes. It means that you’re having clothes, just not a ton of them that you’re not wearing in the, in the closet. All that wasted space, that clutter creates this mental issue, this, you know, chaotic thought, all of that.

And wouldn’t it be nice to go to that closet, the wardrobe, with confidence. And so thank you Sonia for being here today. I’m going to pop all those links down below for you. If you have any questions, please reach out to her. You can always email me hello at crying to my cheesecake. com and I can send you directly to her as well.

Thank you,

Danielle. It’s been

amazing. Thank you. Thanks for listening to the crying in my cheesecake podcast. I hope it encouraged you to make a next best step for your health. Take a look at the show notes for more information or other links I mentioned in the episode. And if you got to this point in the episode, come and find me on Instagram and send me a DM.

Tell me you listened to this episode and what you got out of it.

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hey, i’m Danielle

I love Jesus. I love my family. And I get joy from having a front row view of people growing toward their goals because of what I’ve taught.

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