In this thought-provoking episode, Danielle delves into a fundamental choice many of us face in life: the crossroads between our current circumstances and a future empowered by holistic wellness. Danielle paints a vivid picture of these two paths.
The first path, the familiar one, is based on reacting to our immediate challenges and limitations. It’s making decisions rooted in our present situation, often leading to recurring health issues, like migraines, high cholesterol, and fatigue. It’s a path that may seem inescapable, mirroring the fate of our family genetics.
But there’s another path, a more empowering journey guided by our future selves. It’s a path that challenges us to address the root causes of our symptoms through a holistic approach. Instead of relying on quick fixes and superficial solutions, this path encourages us to delve deeper into our mental health, emotional well-being, and physical health.
She parallels between this choice and her own experiences, highlighting the importance of embracing discomfort and investing in oneself. She emphasize the need to shift from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset, seeing opportunities and growth in every decision made on the path to holistic wellness.
This episode challenges us to rethink our approach to wellness and personal growth, urging us to choose the path of our future selves, even when it seems unconventional or uncomfortable. It’s a call to action to invest in our holistic well-being and embrace the transformation that awaits.
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Welcome to the crying in my cheesecake podcast, where we are in pursuit of living life abundantly, not held back by our body’s size or symptoms, nor are we held back by our hurts, habits, or other obstacles in life. Learn the secrets to crush it in your health, wellness, relationships, and spiritual life. I am Danielle, your host and practitioner.
And in this episode, we are going to explore the incredible journey of. self discovery, freedom, and empowerment that comes when you embrace my foundational holistic wellness package, a high end concierge service that is very hands on and has the potential to revolutionize your life. So let’s dive right in.
Imagine with me for a moment, you’re at a crossroads in your life, just like many of my clients find themselves in. You’re at a pivotal moment. Where you have two paths to choose from. One path is firmly rooted in your current circumstances. Where you make every decision, all your decisions, based on your present situation.
Reacting to your immediate challenges and limitations. On the other path though, lies a more empowering journey. It’s a guided by your future self type journey. Your future self, the version of you who has achieved profound balance, a renewed sense of vitality, all because you addressed your root causes of your symptoms through a holistic approach.
My business mentor always talks about our future selves. Anytime she addresses me specifically, and I know everybody else too, but anytime she addresses me in a question I have, she reminds me to make the decisions. The questions that I’m coming from, so making my decisions out of this question. She reminds me to focus on my future self, not my present circumstances.
So the future self, what do I actually want? If I didn’t have to worry about my current circumstances right now, what would I do? It’s kind of like this idea of my personal trainer. My personal trainer reminds me. that the work I’m doing right now, like right now, while it may not be Instagram worthy and it’s, it’s keeping me, um, like it, it doesn’t feel lovely because I am working on some rehab of things.
So the workouts are not exactly what I want them to be, but it is keeping in mind my future self who will that heavy barbell again. Swinging heavy loads. So I want you to think about all of this with me. Think through this with me. Which path do you typically choose? I think it’s essential for us, no matter what we’re talking about here, if even if you’re someone that’s in business or if you’re someone who is trying to make a decision about, you know, what clothes do I wear or should I dress appropriately?
Maybe you’re struggling with this sin that you’re this, you know, favorite sin that we all have. We all have a pet sin. Maybe you’re struggling with it and you are making decisions in your present circumstances. Or you’re making decisions with your future self, like the eternal self, for example. I want you to like just kind of wrap your mind around it with me.
So, which path do you usually choose? Which path do you want to choose? And I’m going to meet you there in the middle, because it’s essential to recognize that if we continue to make choices, basically on our current circumstances, based solely on our current circumstances, we’re going to keep experiencing more of the same, the same migraines, the same elevated cholesterol, the same afternoon fatigue, the needing more and more caffeine and sugar to get through the day, the same fate that our parents and grandparents have, have or have had.
And I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to lose my mind to Alzheimer’s. My grandmother just died last July, not this past July, but July of 2022. She died after a long run with Alzheimer’s and I don’t want to end up like she did. And I know she didn’t want to, she was, she was too, uh, um, I’m trying to think of really kind words to describe.
She was too strong headed and she was, uh, too energetic and, you know, profession, whatever. She was just too much of a woman. To let Alzheimer’s get her and it ended up getting her. I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to be like my dad, missing out on my kid’s lives. Because he cannot travel here, so I live three and a half hours from my parents.
He cannot even travel here to be with them. He can’t see my son’s taekwondo events or my daughter’s gymnastics events. He can’t be present with them to teach them how to tie flies for fly fishing. He doesn’t, he can’t be present with them to teach them tips and tricks he taught me. The situational awareness skills that can only be learned through action and time with him.
His stories, his life, his wisdom. My kids are missing out on that and he’s missing out on that with them. And I think about, you know, what is it that keeps us held back? Is it lack of knowledge? Today we have Google that we can just go and Google everything. So it’s not lack of knowledge and it’s not that we are dumb or that we quote unquote should know better than this or whatever.
It’s not even that. It, we, and it’s, you know, we have taken action. We’ve taken small action steps. You have probably joined umpteen million dieting programs, hoping and wishing that those dieting programs would fix everything. And usually dieting programs are all about losing weight, aren’t they? They’re all about shrinking yourself because we can feel good and be egotistical and all of that.
When we look a certain way or we can say that we’ve lost all this weight, but then what do we do? We keep saying like, we keep this idea that we need to keep losing weight, keep losing weight. And it’s just this cycle over and over and over again. But what happens when you lose weight? It doesn’t fix anything and you’re probably gonna rebound.
Because what was underneath wasn’t even fixed in the first place. Because true transformation and growth don’t come from addressing problems at the same level that they exist. We don’t address our headaches or prediabetes or predisposition to whatever by only addressing the symptoms or diagnosis. And did you know That prediabetes, diabetes, um, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, these are all diagnosis codes.
These are not root causes. Which means that these things, these elevated cholesterol, elevated blood sugar, um, headaches, migraines, uh, all of those things that we go to the doctor with and have a diagnosis, it is actually meant for insurance purposes. So the insurance will cover All the treatment, quote unquote, for that, but treatments in modern medicine and pharmaceuticals companies and all of this insurance, insurance, by the way, controls how you get treated.
There is no money in preventative care when we actually think things are preventative care. Um, and there are some things that are in traditional medicine that are preventative care. Like, I don’t know, colonoscopies, breast exams, you know, mammograms and the ultrasounds for your breasts. And, um, I said colonoscopies and then there was one other thing, um, And I was thinking about the other day, I’m like, I can’t get insurance to cover this.
Because there was just a gal that I am networked with who is in her 30s and just died of breast cancer. And when do they tell us women to start getting our breast exams? When does insurance start covering those? And some of us don’t have the money to pay for that out of pocket. Or some of us don’t have the willpower or the understanding on how to fight insurance to get these tests done sooner.
And so. There is a place for preventative care, but insurance is controlling it, and they’re controlling it by our diagnosis. So they’re going to give you a pill for your blood pressure, okay? They’re going to give you a pill for your blood pressure. And you’re going to take that pill, and every single day you take that pill, you are going to continue depleting your body of minerals like magnesium, coQ10, B vitamins.
What happens when you start depleting your body of these minerals, you start getting inflammation in the body. When you start getting inflammation in the body, then you have blood sugar regulation issues. When you have blood sugar regulation issues, then you are in high stress. And when you’re in high stress, you’re drinking more coffee, and you’re getting the migraines, you’re getting the headache, you’re having period problems, you’re having perimenopause symptoms, you’re having menopause symptoms, you’re having low libido, you’re feeling brain funky.
And your body is starting to shut down. Your body is screaming at you that something is wrong, but you took this pill for the blood pressure, and now you’re probably on birth control, or back on some form of hormone replacement, and then you’re probably on some form of metformin, or other kind of blood pressure, or, I’m sorry, blood sugar thing, and then you’re elevated cholesterol because of your inflammation, and the blood sugar dysregulation.
You’re probably on a statin, because your cholesterol is elevated. And so instead of preventing and going back to the root of that, we are talking about most of us, most modern medicine places address problems at the same level they exist, but true transformation and growth and health do not come from that.
In fact, if you have a weight problem, which let’s be real, most people in the Western culture, including myself, we all have weight problems. And if we are addressing it by using dieting programs, we’re addressing it by macros, counting calories, eating low fat, no fat, no carb, or low carb. This is called a band aid.
You’re actually not addressing the root cause of that extra weight on the body. And I understand that this may sound unconventional, it may sound a little far out there, it may sound like, you know, oh my gosh, Danielle’s gone off on the deep end. But here’s what I know. It is a fundamental truth that I am no longer going to skirt.
This is my podcast, gosh darn. I am no longer going to skirt that I have a father in the hospital yet again. If you were here and you follow me on Instagram or you have been listening to the podcast for a while, you know that my dad had his first heart attack at 42 and then my worldview, that was when I was 11 years old.
Um, my worldview has been shaped through low fat, no fat, diabetes, prevent, or like diabetes and um, heart disease is all just going to come to me. Like this is going to be my fate. And in February of 2013, I just said, I said, no, I am not going to be a statistic because I watched my dad wake up from a quintuple bypass that my, I just tell you, I thought was normal.
And like, I didn’t even, I wasn’t even concerned about the surgery. I knew he’d wake up, not because I trusted in God, although that would have been. A, you know, a holy thing, but it’s because I knew that heart surgery was normal. Like I thought it was normal. It’s not normal, but it’s so common that doctors have so much practice with it.
So of course he’s going to come out fine. He did come out alive. He did not come out fine. He came out on insulin and all and insulin dependent and he came out with a whole different brain. It wasn’t my dad anymore. All the things. So I am not going to gatekeep these truths that I know are true. And in fact, in my studies right now, I’m studying about this whole diet heart, um, the diet heart philosophy or theory that came about.
And I’m going to do an episode on this later and go into it a little bit more with some more facts and things instead of just off the top of my head. But basically Crisco was made by. Crisco. You know what I’m talking about in that blue container. And I, again, grew up in the late 80s, early 90s. And a lot of this was the no fat, low fat being pushed on us was this, like, Crisco.
Like, we deep fat fried in the Fry Daddy with Crisco. And Crisco was made by Procter Gamble P& G. And it was actually a way to make cheaper candles. So, lard and tallow is how candles were made back in the day. And that got expensive. So they made this, which was really kind of a great idea. They made a Um, uh, wax, a waxy substance from cottonseed oil.
So they refined and hydrogen, they made this hydrogenated, partially hydrogenated oil that would be solid at room temperature so that candles could be whatever, you know, and um, it didn’t smell, it was deodorized, all of that so that it was cheaper for people to get light in their homes. But then electricity came.
And when electricity came, there was no real need for candles. So their marketing and their butt, like their revenue came down because of electricity. Okay, cool. So what did they do? They then started marketing. Oh, hey, this is like a replacement for tallow and lard. And it looks like it doesn’t smell. It lasts longer.
It doesn’t have a real expiration date. Why don’t we market this as a replacement for that? So then that began, I can go into that later, but that began the cycle of all of this. So when I say that this is a fundamental truth, then I, I’m telling you, I’ve lived it. I’m seeing the research that has been hidden by Kellogg, by the FDA, by, by all of the in, like the people that need the money.
Kellogg and, um, what is the other? I can’t even think off the top of my head. Um, the other name right now, just like Kro, uh, not Kroger. Why did I say Kroger? Um, Kellogg, and I cannot remember the dude’s name. Okay, so anyway, I’ll dive into that more later, but this may seem like I’m getting a little juicy here, like I’m getting a little off the deep end, off the rocker.
And I do believe that there is a need for medicine. I take pharmaceuticals every single day for my thyroid. Will I get off of that medicine? I don’t know. And that’s okay for me for now, but that is the only pharmaceutical I am on. But I also know that I need to resupplement with some things in order to take care of that depletion that, that, that medicine’s causing, but look at that snowball, look at that snowball effect.
If we are letting ourselves be victims or of our circumstances, you are not controlling anything. You are handing over control to the insurance companies where, and following the funding, knowing that they’re getting paid for these things. I used to think. That my food problem was just overconsumption.
Yeah, there’s a little bit of overconsumption. There’s a lot of overconsumption that happened, but the extra weight on my body is a sign of something else. It’s a sign of a mental health need. It’s feelings of sadness, depression, anxiousness, unknown lack of control, but it’s also a sign of parasites, hormone imbalances, glandular issues, metabolism issues, even in my cells, my cellular needs.
And I also know that. This perspective that I’m talking about here, this perspective of getting 10 to 15 minutes with your doctors, this perspective of being thrown around from doctor to doctor, from specialist to specialist, because no one, they, do not have the answers as to why you feel like you feel, or why you are presenting the way you’re presenting before them.
So my father, let me go back here. My father’s in the hospital again right now as I’m recording this, and he’s in the hospital because he fell three times in one, um, in one morning. And the visiting nurse was there and they called 911, got him there. Every single day. So he’s been in there I think a week now.
Every single day, he and my mother have to tell the doctors he cannot have an MRI. You see, my dad has a pacemaker, a defibrillator in his chest. And it is one from the early 2000s, maybe late 90s, no, it was early 2000s. And it cannot be put under an MRI. Now the new ones, apparently you can, but my dad’s cannot.
The hospitalists, there’s a new one every single day. No one reads my father’s charts. No one does anything but keeps ordering tests and tests and tests. No one is making decisions. In fact, I had to call. So my mom called me the other night and she was just really overwhelmed and defeated. They were trying to do this MRI thing again.
So, I called my mom, or my mom called and she three way chatted with my dad and my dad had me on speakerphone and because he was just tired. Now, okay, my dad’s been sick, right, like sick with heart disease, diabetes, all these things and injuries over the years. I have never seen my dad sick sick with a fever more than truly like a handful of times.
And he sounded sick, like even at his worst, like he’s, he doesn’t sound like that. He’s not ever slow, sluggish, whatever. So my dad put me on speakerphone and I laid into that nurse. When did it become okay for nurses? And I asked the gentleman, I said, Hey, um, are you an RN or are you an MA? And he said, well, I’m an RN.
I said, great. Then you have the education and you know how to read his chart and you can be an advocate for my father, but you’re choosing not to. You’re choosing to not think, not look through his health history and not see any correlations. You’re not helping that doctor who has only seen him for what, how many hours a day, or maybe even just 10 minutes that day.
You’re not helping. You are not advocating for my father. I’m three and a half hours away and you were going to seriously wheel my father down to the MRI machine to kill him. I said, that’s exactly what you’re doing. You are perpetuating sick care. And I flew off the handle at this guy. And my dad, I think felt validated and just, I don’t think I know he felt validated because he’s just so tired of it.
And what happens is, is that my 71 years old. But with all, you know, with a fever for how many days and whatever he’s been, he’s been dealing with, he doesn’t have the brain capacity right now to advocate for himself. My mom is tired, still healing from her surgery and her pains that she’s dealing with.
And they’re tired of advocating for themselves. We have to do something different. And this perspective. If you’re listening to this episode and you are like, I get it. I feel like I’m being tossed to and fro like your dad. I feel like I need to do something different, especially if you’re someone that’s at a point in your life where this message finally clicks.
None of us, none of us, including myself can expect to achieve wellness, live life abundantly or experience significant changes. If we keep thinking, feeling and behaving with the same old mindset that brought us to the place that we’re currently in. You’re going to, if you fall prey to the Western medicine, if you become like my dad and you then become mentally weak because you are so sick and fevered with a high fever for over a week, mind you, and they still don’t know where the infection is from and the antibiotic that they’re trying should be changed every three days if it’s not working, is not changing.
If you cannot think. If you have lost the skill of thinking, even before you are sick, you’re in a world of hurt. You are going to be easily controlled and manipulated and just created sick. And then what’s a, what is that going to do for your family? For the ones that you love and love you, they are going to miss out on all the things that you can give them.
And if you’re someone here that thinks that you don’t have value, that’s a whole nother level. That’s a whole nother level. Of something that needs to be worked on internally.
But my dad being in the hospital for a week at this time, I have no clue when he’s going to get out. They also did not give him his water pill. So he has stage four heart failure. He’s been in stage four heart failure for over a year. And that there’s not enough pumping of the blood up out of his feet and through the limbs to help get this extra fluid and toxins out of the body through the kidneys.
And so they have not given him his water pill that he now is dependent upon. And so he is bloated and insanely over, like, he’s miserable because you know what? They didn’t look at his chart and know that he needed his medicine. And my dad is too tired to ask if he was getting all of these medicines. And when I was there, even when my dad was going nutso because of another infection, he knew exactly what medicines, what dosage, and everything he needed because I was able to take it to him.
And I’m telling you this story because I know in my heart of hearts, this is working for me. It’s working for my loved ones and the clients I work with that in order to get to a place where you are ready to create the change and growth that you desire, the health that you desire, you have to adopt a completely different way of thinking, like installing a whole new operating system in your mind.
Form new neural pathways, actually step into changing things in your brain. This is the transformation that my mentor calls major pattern disruption. And here’s what it actually means. Every time you have a thought or make a decision related to your holistic health journey, for instance, like investing in yourself with time and money, don’t let your logical mind kick in with doubts of what if.
That’s your current circumstances talking all the what ifs, all the doubts, all of those things. Those are your current circumstances talking and instead take that empowering path guided by your future self. What this looks like is it the future self whispering things like, what if it all works out? What incredible possibilities await me if I make this investment in myself?
How will I show up so much better for the ones I love? What will I get to experience now? It shifts your focus from the scarcity mindset, living small, stuck, and in, like in, um, a victim of your circumstances mindset. That dwells on what you might be missing out on or how difficult it could be financially.
A scarcity mindset does that. It totally dwells. On what you might miss out on or how difficult or how difficult it could be financially. And it shifts you from that to an abundance mindset that sees opportunities and growth. And I know how easy it is to look at healthy people and say, Well, it’s so easy for them, they’re already healthy.
But the truth is, every person you see. That is truly healthy, not just someone with muscles and in the gym all the time, drinking ridiculous drinks and unnecessarily, unnecessary supplements in their Stanley cups. The truly healthy person has had to walk that line. They’ve had to walk that line of pattern disruption from scarcity mindset to the, to what, but what if I did miss out on that?
To the abundance mindset. They face their fears, embraced discomfort and made investments in themselves and their holistic health. They’re growing as individuals and they refuse to be the same person they were last year. And there may be some of you listening here that might fear what an improvement on your health status might do for you.
It might shake your identity. You no longer get to identify as the person with autoimmune or the person who has to be dealt a bad hand. You may also be like many of my members and clients and fear getting healthy because it may seem, make you seem more objectifiable because you’ve been hurt in the past by sexual harassment, trauma, or abuse in some fashion.
You may also fear the responsibilities having, or the responsibilities of having an improved health status because it may bring extra responsibilities like consistency of showing up for yourself day in and day out. Realizing that no one else is going to do it for you. And because of all this fear, you may subconsciously sabotage your own progress.
Because deep down you’re afraid of being different. Because being different means that the people around you may no longer understand you. You may no longer understand yourself. These people may bring you down and you have to set up new boundaries and maybe even make new friends.
Family may be a struggle now too. And if that’s you, leaning into fear, You’re going to continue to choose that path of your current circumstances to protect yourself from actually getting the help you need to get healthy. I’m sharing this with you because I want you to recognize, recognize this fear and investigate it further.
Dive into it and heal it because growth and change do not happen until you truly desire what’s on the other side. In recovery groups, they say you must desire the changed person. More than your desire or your addiction. You must release your attachment to the past or your current circumstances, because they do not define you.
Yet to create real change, you need to be done with your current level of wellness. You must yearn for something more, not just in, in words, but in your very being. Maybe you’re like me and you’ve been overweight all of your life, except when you came out. You don’t have any diagnosis of prediabetes or diabetes, and you don’t have high cholesterol, but you do have thyroid problems.
Did you know thyroid problems lead to blood sugar problems, which leads to inflammation in the body, which leads to extra cholesterol in the blood trying to heal that inflammation, which means I am still at risk of heart disease and diabetes, even if my blood work doesn’t show it. Did you know that? Do you know those symptoms that you have just accepted to be your norm?
Your headaches, your migraines, your sinus issues, your seasonal allergies, your three cups of coffee for breakfast and binge eating at night, your need for a little something sweet after you’ve had a meal, your body aches, your inability to sleep, your period problems, your low libido, your hot flashes, whether you’re perimenopausal, menopausal or not, your anxiety, your depression.
Your irritability and your lack of motivation to take care of yourself. These are things, just to name a few things, these are symptoms that are actually signs before you really need help. If you continue to live on blood pressure medicine and allow that swelling, swelling in your legs and feet to be normal, you’re living in your current circumstances, not your future self.
You’re allowing generational habits and circumstances to rule your future self’s health. You must yearn for something more. This transformation of moving from current self to future self requires you to desire the future you. The future possibilities that it holds. That it holds more than your current reality.
And that requires us to let go of the attachments to our present self and circumstances. For instance, I once invested thousands of dollars, thousands of dollars into a holistic health package, into a holistic health package, went on paper. It didn’t look like I was financially able to afford it, nor did it look like I would be able to dedicate the time I thought it deserved.
My bank account was bleak. My logical side of the brain told me that this was selfish. That I’m taking away money from my kids, from the family budget. That my husband is so busy and his schedule is so erratic that I couldn’t depend on him to get to my appointments. But I knew that this investment would propel me forward in ways I couldn’t imagine, so I took that leap.
I embraced that discomfort. Boy, was it worth it. Because without that investment, I’d never be where I am today. The key though, is to make decisions with the end in mind. Envisioning your future where holistic wellness is your reality. You were living life abundantly, not held back by your body size or symptoms.
How did you get there? You didn’t waste your money on piddly programs or foods from these other companies because you know you need more. And those other programs aren’t sustainable. You didn’t waste your precious time researching forever and never taking action. You took an intentional step. You invested in the right program and focused on your health and well being.
Now let’s talk about taking action. I want this podcast episode, and just this podcast in general, to be a place for you to implement something that you’ve learned. You can go to YouTube all day long and watch inspirational people talk, but inspiration doesn’t create change. It’s taking action that does.
So I want you to take action now. I want you to grab a journal and take some time and reflect on this question. Where am I currently making decisions based on where I am right now rather than where I want to be in 12 months? I’m going to repeat that again, because some of you are going to be like me and listening on this on 1.
25 speed or even faster, which if you are listening to this on more than 1. 25 speed, uh, I talk fast and I can only imagine how fast it sounds in your ears, grab a journal and reflect. First of all, how did you feel when I said that you’re like, nah, I’m not going to do that. I don’t have time.
I want you to take time and reflect on where am I currently making decisions based on where I am right now, rather than where I want to be in 12 months. Because by doing this activity, you are identifying your limiting beliefs that are holding you back. If you don’t think you have time to sit down and journal, then this is already a red flag that you have a limiting belief of not having enough time.
Or maybe you think it’s silly to slow down and write about your feelings. You have a limiting belief that your feelings aren’t important. And many people think that they aren’t a feelings person, but they are the same people who tell me, I’m just not motivated. Well friend, motivation is a feeling, so clearly you’re behaving out of your feelings.
Here’s an extra credit reflection point. I want you to truly think about this. Am I open to working on my health and a new approach that is beyond my current circumstances? And what I’d like for you to do is to gather your thoughts. Then I’d love for you to send me an email at hello, hello, at crying in my cheesecake.
com. I’d love to maybe see a picture of your journaling session, or maybe a typed narrative of what came up for you. Because you see, taking the time to journal and reflect is just one piece of the puzzle. That’s being honest with yourself. Because the next piece of the puzzle is being honest with me as your healthcare practitioner.
And I want you to know something. You are not alone in your health and wellness. While at a traditional doctor’s office, you get 10 to 15 minutes with them. In fact, I’ve even started talking about my priority care instead of primary care that I offer you. You are worth the time and investment in your holistic health care.
It is uncomfortable for many. It is because it’s not what we’ve been taught. It’s not how it’s going against the grain of modern medicine and culture, honestly. But when you jump in, you’re going to see and feel the difference. Thank Remember how I invested in my holistic health? Today, I’m not only almost finished with my naturopathic doctor degree, but my marriage is thriving.
My kid’s health is thriving. My relationships are better than ever before. And I love my job. I love the life I get to live because I took that time to invest in myself and rid myself of old limiting beliefs, find my value, and not be held back by my body’s size or symptoms. And if you’re looking for ways to work with me, you can check the show notes below.
Thanks for listening to the Crying in My Cheesecake podcast. I hope it encouraged you to make a next best step for your health. Take a look at the show notes for more information or other links I mentioned in the episode. And if you got to this point, come find me on Instagram and send me a DM at crying in my cheesecake.
Tell me that you listened and what you got out of it.