On this episode Danielle has a guest, Haley Whitlock, a high level 1:1 client that has been around for awhile. They dive in and explore the pitfalls of traditional diets like Weight Watchers and the transformative power of personalized wellness. Discover insights on building a sustainable and compassionate relationship with food while understanding the ‘why’ behind your choices.
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Transcription
Welcome to the crying in my cheesecake podcast, where we are in pursuit of living life abundantly, not held back by our body size or symptoms, nor are we held back by our hurts habits or other obstacles in life. Learn the secrets to crush it in your health, wellness relationships and spiritual life. I am Danielle, your host and your practitioner.
And in this episode, we are going to talk to a very special guest that is going to share some insights of what it’s like to work with crying in my cheesecake. All too often, it is so hard to ask for help. All too often we find every excuse in the book to say, I’ll, I’ll work on that later or I just don’t have the time, the money I don’t have fill in the blank.
And all that is, is that we make every excuse every day. to not take care of ourselves. And I’m saying every day because there’s something even I avoid. And that’s called disengagement. Like I, I will disengage either mentally, physically, or emotionally in order to cope or to, um, not feel hurt. And feeling hurt, we think of like, Oh, I want to stay away from the street.
So I’m not going to play in the street. So I don’t get hurt. We think of that. But what we don’t think of is how we feel. can actually hurt us as well. So, and I’m talking like emotions and physical things that we feel. So what I want to go over today and share with you today is a gal that has been working with me since April of 2020.
She knows what it’s like, the good, the bad, the ugly on how to approach your wellness and what it’s like working with me and how that’s made all the difference in who she is today. This gal has come to me, she was actually a former 8th grade English student. Um, she’s come to me in moments of vulnerability.
She has built trust, rapport, she has built inner strength that she didn’t know she had. She has walked away from our sessions, sometimes emotional, sometimes realizing that there’s some more work to do, but knowing that she’s one, not alone, and two, there’s a plan. And there, there is a plan no matter what happens, no matter what circumstances come up in her life, there is something that can be done and in her control.
She doesn’t have to be ruled by her circumstances. So without further ado, I’d like to introduce you to Haley Whitlock, a client, former student, and Haley, welcome. Hi. Oh my gosh, I’m so glad you’re here. Like this is, she is the first client I’ve wanted to interview. Um, not because she’s my favorite. Okay, that’s not right.
I should not say that. She’s one of my favorite people. How about that? She’s one of my favorite people to meet with every week as my high level one to one client. So let me back up a little bit. Haley is specifically a high level one to one client. She knows what it’s like to work with me in the trenches and meet with her trenches.
I’ll jump in with her wherever she goes. I’m jumping in that trench with her. So she is not a Wilderness of Wellness member. She’s actually a High ticket, high level one to one client. So Haley, how about you tell us a little about, a little bit about who you are, what’s going on. Tell me about your family and what best describes your life right now.
Yeah. So, um, right now I have recently transitioned to a stay at home mom. Um, so 11 months ago I had my son and decided. You know, a few months in, I think I’m going to stay home with them. I think that, um, that is the best decision for our family. So we are, you know, just adjusting me to motherhood and taking care of a family and finding our routine in the day to day.
Because my days look a lot different than they did a year ago, so it’s really hard to, um, build that routine. It’s taken 11 months. It’s probably going to take a few more. Um, so life is busy. Um, you know, my son, he’s crawling. He is, um, on the move. I’m chasing him, baby proofing things. Um, You know, finding time to get outside because that’s, you know, obviously important trying to foster those good habits early.
Um, and then on top of all of that, he was born with clubfoot. So we are dealing with, or not, I shouldn’t say dealing with, I should say we are working through appointments and we’ve been through a few doctors and lots of stuff. So, you know. Busy is the word for my life right now. Um, but yeah. That’s a little bit about me.
And it’s crazy that I’ve been here since 2020. It feels like forever. I know,
in a good way, in the good sense, right? Yeah, yeah, for sure. Um, so not only, um, are you a new mom, Which, those of you moms listening, you guys know what it’s like, that transition from no baby to holy crap, there’s so much I don’t know about life.
And then understanding and succumbing to, oh, you grow up with your firstborn, so you actually learn, like, you think you’re mature before, but you actually mature and through that first baby. It’s, it’s the coolest little thing. And you wouldn’t know it if you’re not a mom. Like, you wouldn’t understand that, what I just said.
But, so not only does she have this New mom life happening, but she also has a special needs child like special needs with a birth defect. I really, um, sympathize and empathize with that because my second child was born with special needs and still has them and I understand what it’s like to be in that waiting room.
Um, you know, first of all, not even just let’s stop. Let’s not even start there. Let’s let’s talk about getting ready to get out the door. Um, all that, um, getting two people out the door and like, how is something that’s like, you know, 15, 20 pounds so hard to get out the door, like worse than us. Um, and then, so you not only have that, then you have the travel, right?
You’ve got the car rides and in your case, plane trips and all of that. So you have all of that. And then you’ve got the waiting room. And it’s like all that hurry up and wait with doctor’s appointments. And then you have like this, these crazy thoughts going through your mind and all of like, you’re, it’s just like a constant whirlwind when it comes to being a new mom.
And I think that that’s something to acknowledge because we’re, um, back in 2020, you weren’t looking to be a mom. You were here. Talk to us about what you were doing in 2020, why you came here.
So in 2020, I. You know, I went home. I worked in a call center. I was quality assurance, quality assurance agent, um, and they sent us home, just like a lot of companies did.
And we thought maybe we would come back in a month or so. And we never did. So it got to the point where. I had eaten myself, my feelings eaten through COVID, um, lockdown at least. And then just, I felt terrible. I wasn’t doing anything. I was at my house eating food, working, watching TV, going to bed and getting up and doing it all over again.
That was about it. Um, and I just knew that I needed a change. I had a recently, I want to say like the beginning of 2020. Was like, Oh, I’m going to do, um, WW, which I think is actually now it’s name. So I don’t know if I can say it or not, but, um, and this is, this wasn’t the first time I had, um, gone through them and.
It just, nothing helped, nothing made a difference. It didn’t matter what I ate. It didn’t matter what I tracked. It didn’t matter how many points or no points the food was. I never saw the weight come off. I had just, from the time I graduated high school in 2014, almost like slowly just watched the weight pile on, and I had gotten to the point where I was the heaviest I had ever been.
I didn’t recognize myself. I didn’t want to be like, you know, I didn’t want to look like this when I looked in the mirror. I was really upset by what I was seeing. So, you know, initially in 2020 when I came to Danielle, that’s what I was looking to do was to drop weight, become healthy, um, And make it last, you know, I didn’t want to have to eat a certain way the rest of my life and not be able to have any treats or, you know, I can only have chicken, broccoli and rice for dinner every night for the rest of my life, like, and that’s what the other things make you feel like you have to do so.
I had seen her on Facebook, um, you know, crying, crying and my cheesecake was coming through and it’s funny because it caught my eye because I worked at the cheesecake factory and, um, I worked there up until I think 2018, maybe 19. And I love cheesecake. Yep. Don’t we all? So I was like, that’s really funny.
Like, that’s so clever. And I think I want to say I watched for a while. You know, I just was like lurking. And what is this all about? You know, Danielle was a teacher, um, you know, an English teacher. What, what has happened between eighth grade and, and now, which a lot did. And so I was like, oh, goodness, I need to know what this is about.
So once I finally was like, I need a change. I booked the consultation and, um, I was so nervous because I didn’t know what to expect. And then. It has turned out to be the coolest thing that I’ve ever decided to do for myself. Not only cool, but very beneficial and very
life changing. It is. And I want to go back real quick to what you just said about, um, that you had to come to a place that you acknowledge you needed help.
How did you get there? Because so many people know they need help. So many people can acknowledge they need help, but how do you, how did you get there? You’re like, okay, I’m ready. What was that trigger for you that said enough is enough? I’m going to try one more time. So I
think, I think about this a lot for other people too, but the information I knew it was out there, right?
So I had heard the word macro. I had heard, you know, all these buzzwords that you think about when you think of Living a healthy lifestyle. How do you put those together? It’s really hard to navigate all of the information that is out there with social media now and multiple forms of social media and even now TikTok since.
It’s overwhelming to the point where it makes you sick or you just don’t ever do anything about it. So I was like, if this information is available, I’m I need somebody to guide me through it. I need somebody to give it to me in a, not slow paced, but in a paced way to where I can digest it. Work on one thing at a time.
And I’m like, my final straw was this is something that people do. We see it. Danielle is, you know, living proof of changing your habits. And I just felt like she was the key. Almost, you know, to unlocking that door and giving me that information in a digestible way. And it turns out I was right.
Well, thank you for that.
That’s so humbling. And I think you’re right. Like, there is so much information. We, so here at Cry to My Cheesecake, whether one to one, or in my membership, the wilderness of wellness, we talk about knowing better and doing better. Like we know better, like we know we shouldn’t be eating that candy bar. We should be eating our protein and we should be eating blah, blah, blah.
Right. We know better, but we don’t always Do better. So crying to my cheesecake, the one to one and the wilderness of wellness is that bridge between making you with the things that you know better and maybe adjusting some of those things that you may know, um, and then moving you to actually doing better because we are very bio individualized.
Again, your life is not, you’re not living the ideal life. None of us are. Just yesterday, actually, Haley, I don’t know if you saw in my Instagram stories, but my son went to church camp, and just, like, you’re talking about my habits have changed. We have not eaten at McDonald’s in years. Like, we’ll stop and pee there, right?
Like, when we’re on vacation. You know, they always have a pee er open, like, solid. Oh, yeah. I will get coffee there. If we stop to pee there for a road trip or something, but we will not eat there. So yesterday, my son’s agenda on the way to church camp was they were, I fed him breakfast and then they were going to take him to Chick fil A.
He knows what to order from Chick fil A. I know all of you holistic folks listening out here, Chick fil A is no better than anything else. I get it, but at least he knows how to order from Chick fil A in a healthy manner to know that he’s going to hit his protein. He’s not going to feel bloated and gross and Have embarrassing gas or diarrhea with his friends like that’s he knows this stuff at 12 years old.
He’s not quite 13 yet But he knows this so he called me in a panic not because the bus was like had a battery out He didn’t care about that. Nobody did he called me in a tizzy? He’s like mom. We’re at McDonald’s and I don’t know what to order Now, some people would be like, Oh my gosh, that’s so controlling, manipulating him over his food and things like that.
But he didn’t have like the fear of food. What he had was the examples of clients like Haley, my members that will send me quick messages and say, Hey, I’m, I’m blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I don’t know what to order. My son did the exact same thing because of client role models, just like Haley. And he did that because he knew he didn’t want to feel crappy.
He didn’t want to have the embarrassing digestive upsets or anything like that. So I sent him a message or a picture of what to order and how to order it. And he was so grateful and felt fine. And so that I think is something, um, when we’re talking about knowing better and doing better, it’s that he knows that McDonald’s probably not the best option.
So how did he do better? He used me as his bridge. Does that make sense that we don’t have to go at this and not like the whole point of this little anecdote here is that life happens batteries break in buses. Your schedule is not going to always go as planned. There is no. Templated format that works for every person every day of their lives.
Who you were when you were 20 is not who you are at 29. Who you are at 29 is not who you are at 39. And your body is not the same. Your needs are different. Your life is different. And that being able to bio individualize and make it so that, like you were saying Haley, like these, these Come on these topics or these know better these macros or you know, whatever this application making it very bite sized and achievable and consistent matters so much more than the rapid weight loss of places like Octavia like Weight Watchers, like, um, Medifast.
Medifast used or came out of Ohio and then there were some in Louisville and now they’ve got one now on the north side of Indianapolis. Um, for those of you that are not from the Midwest or from the United States, it’s kind of like this Midwestern thing. We Midwesterners are large folk. When they, like, it is a stereotype that we are corn fed.
Um, that’s actually not a lie, it’s actually in our DNA now, but corn fed is a reference to Midwesterners that are, um, tall and broad and strong, like that’s who we are. We have Germanic roots, a lot of Germanic roots, a lot of, um, Slavic roots. So bigger people anyway. Um, but all that to say. There are options.
There is bio individualizing with my one to one and my membership. And I think that that’s what stands out. So I’m going to move forward and ask Haley, what dieting programs have you tried? Whether it’s a formal program or just something you’ve implemented on your own. Yes, you can use, um, the actual names because this is my podcast, gosh darn.
And we will just say it like it is because we want to break down the barrier for everybody. So we’re all on the same page and we have the idea. We want to break down that barrier. What dieting programs have you tried before and what were the results of those?
So I really only tried Weight Watchers, um, and I tried it a few separate times as far back as I can remember, like high school.
Um, and
I tried things on my own. I, uh, I did, I went vegan, no, not vegan, vegetarian, absolutely not vegan. Um, And I found myself, this was in 2017, um, it’s a few years before I started working with Daniel, and I found myself eating pasta and french fries and It was, like, pasta and french fries are not unhealthy, as I have learned, however, if that is the only thing you are ever eating and you have no protein in your diet, like I did, uh, yeah, things don’t go very well, um, after I did that, um, I had gallbladder issues and, you know, struggled with my gallbladder for a long time, even after it was out.
Um, but yeah, like, I remember, this is weird and it’s so vivid, like me and my best friend, we were having ramen. And we could eat the whole thing, because it was only like 290 calories or something. But was I full after that? No. Did I spend my entire point value for lunch? Yes. I’m like, I’m hungry. I don’t, I don’t want to be hungry.
I don’t feel like you have to starve yourself to lose weight. I was like, every time I did it with Weight Watchers, I was like, Yeah, I just had a big ol salad, but I’m not satisfied. And I think the key there was what I was putting on the salad. Yeah. The lettuce doesn’t have any points or whatever. Maybe it does.
I don’t know. I can’t remember but the Hidden Valley Ranch does. You know, so it’s just like they don’t, it doesn’t feel like they actually teach you anything. I don’t ever remember when I was, you know, trying Weight Watchers or doing it or whatever that protein was. A very important aspect. I never remember anything like that.
Um, during these times I went to the gym and I’m like, why am I not seeing any results? Like, it’s frustrating. And I would have been happy with one or two pound results. I wasn’t even getting that. So, I wasn’t going to pay any more money because I was, I wasn’t even in college. I was just working, like, you know, I was broke, but I I didn’t have college to pay for, but I still didn’t want to shell that money out to try another program or another program.
So I just like gave up. I was like, I’m not dieting anymore. The diet culture is silly. I’m not doing that. Um, you know, I kind of fell into like, love your body the way it is, but also like eating pop tarts and just Taco Bell and all the things that me and Danielle giggle at now, uh, because. When you step back and you look at that, it’s scary.
Um, and I’ve seen other people firsthand do the other diets and, um, it’s, it’s just crazy the lack of knowledge that there is provided from these people because that’s not their goal.
Yeah. And I think that you’re like, what you just hit on is that, um, one, you’re left hungry, like, but you’re like, I just ate enough.
But really what you didn’t do is your body is hungry because you’re not giving it the right nutrients. Right. Like we know this now. Right. But these other programs only teach habit or food or whatever. They don’t look at you as a whole being. And that is so important and so lacking. And that’s why they can charge so little compared to the higher level options that you have here with crying to my cheesecake one to one or the membership of wilderness of wellness.
But that’s why they can charge so cheap because when they say customized Weight Watchers right now, customization, it is a mother living call center. You don’t have a coach. So, same with Noom. Like, Noom, um, only works on your habits for the most part, and that’s, that’s part of it. But, it’s a call center, and these coaches, or whatever, dietitians, have 30 people that they may be talking to in one day.
Tell me, how much time could that person actually give you if they’re talking to 30 people? That is no different than going to your doctor and getting 15 minutes with him. That is no different than being handed a scripted handout. This client’s talking about this, give them this. That is not customized at all.
And that is not supportive of who you are. You’re not being seen, you’re not being known, and you’re not being valued. And that is huge here. You are not a template. You were not created to be a template, so you don’t need to be treated like one either. So with that said, let’s move forward into what it’s been like.
If, like, if you were to give an idea, if someone asking, what’s it like to work with me in a high level one to one package? What does that kind of look like?
So, um, It is very individualized. Like, I don’t know what Danielle does with her other clients. Obviously, that’s confidential. But for me,
I’ll start with there’s a lot of times where Before I worked with her even now when we’re working is I feel guilty about things that I ate, right? I’ll tell you I’d be like, oh, I did have McDonald’s today. and I can do that now, but I remember a time when I first started working with you where I would get a little nervous.
I’d be like, uh, should I tell her? Should I track it? Maybe if I just keep it a secret, it’ll be like it never happened. Because I was so, like, like trained to feel shame about what I was putting in my body. And I can come to Danielle and say, look, I did not meet my protein today and I had a handful of trail mix.
Literally did this yesterday. I didn’t tell her yesterday, but I had a handful of trail mix and you know, our thing this week was like, we’re going to meet our protein or if we don’t quite meet it, we’re not going to snack. Well, you know, things happen and I, and I snacked and blah, blah, blah. I feel comfortable coming to Danielle, so that’s the first thing, working with her, is, it’s like, a very close bond, and, you know, when you first meet, it’s not gonna be like that, but I’ve been working with her forever, and now, I just, I tell her everything, TMI or not.
Yep. Um, so that’s refreshing because those people in the call centers, they don’t, they don’t care. They don’t. And Danielle always has something to say, like, okay, how did that make you feel? Or what are we gonna do next time? Or, you know, things like that.
She always meets me with compassion and understanding and helps me figure out how I can handle things next time. Obviously, If I ate McDonald’s for lunch, I already ate it, but how, if I’m in the same situation, like, even like her son was, how am I gonna manage that next time, and not take the opportunity to indulge, like, you know, if I find myself somewhere like that with family or whatever, a lot of times, You know, before I worked with her and now postpartum, I would think, Oh, what’s, what’s up upsizing onto a large fry from a medium or whatever and make that decision.
And she can help me through that. Why, why am I making that decision? Yeah, the whys are big with, with Daniel, finding your why or things like that. Um,
I don’t feel pressure. I wanted to say this just because it’s kind of funny, but also true. I don’t feel pressure to eat a salad every day. Now, I love salad and I would eat a salad every day, truly, but there are people out there that won’t and they don’t like it. With Daniel, I don’t feel like I’m not allowed to eat certain things or a certain type of food.
We just have to fit it into our day, you know, I can’t eat McDonald’s for lunch, Chick fil A for dinner, but maybe one or the other with some, uh, you know, changes. Maybe not a large fry, maybe a salad. Anyway. The other thing is like with Weight Watchers or Optivia or whatever, you feel like you can’t eat bread, sandwiches, meat, potatoes, pasta, cheese, milk, like all of the things that I literally ate the entire time I was losing weight.
Yep, yep. And it
blows my mind that people think, I mean, I thought this at one point, bread is bad, don’t eat that. Pasta is bad, don’t eat that. When They can absolutely fit into your life. And Danielle has taught me how to do that. I hope I’m not giving too much Insider
information. Oh, this is great. Like this is really good inside information And I know you’re gonna keep going But I’m just gonna inject interject here that it’s so humbling to work with every single one of my clients or members I keep you can you can even ask Haley and head to her Instagram Um, or whatever.
And just say, does Daniel actually cry and tear up with her appointments? The answer is yes. I keep Kleenexes next to my desk at all times because I get so invested in who you are, your changes, your hurts become mine. The empathy is there. That compassion is there. feel for you. And life gets heavy, doesn’t it?
Like there are lots of pieces that are heavy and I am here to carry the burden with you or burdens with you. And so like I’m sitting here and she’s talking about these things. I’m like, she’s seen my heart. She sees the, like what my Goal is with this business is helping people and how that by helping her, she’s impacting her son, her husband, her friends, her mom, her grandma.
Like she was able to, I’m going to share this if you don’t care, but last week she was able to speak up. with set firm boundaries around what foods were allowed for her son. And it’s scary to approach grandma. It’s scary to approach mom and have a different opinion from these people that have raised you and been around you and you respect and you love dearly.
But she was able to put up a firm boundary. And I was so dang proud of her. I nearly ugly sobbed after we get off the call because I’m just like that right there. Is a win that counts. Yes. Scales count that. I get that. But this win right here, having the empowerment and the confidence to speak up is huge and it sets the path for the success to come.
So I’ll say continue going Haley. I am just so I, I love my job. You guys.
I love my eighth grade teacher, you know, like that was, You could always, you could tell teaching is in Danielle’s blood, which is why this works. She’s still a teacher. She is always going to be a teacher. Every week since I started working with her, I’ve learned something new. Just last week, we were talking about raw milk.
I mean, I feel like I knew that was a thing, but… Like the things you were telling me, I just, they blew my mind. Cause I had never heard them. So it’s just like, she’s a wealth of knowledge and I get access to that. And that is worth the money. Number one, and also priceless at the same time. Um, and that knowledge is going to last, it’s going to stick with me.
It does stick with me and it, and it helps me have a voice for my son who does not have a voice yet. Yeah, yeah, and he can’t, he doesn’t understand the complexities of food and why he shouldn’t have something at this young age. You know, I’m not saying he can’t ever have. Right. Treats. Obviously he can, but it’s given me a voice, which is awesome.
Um,
I’m trying to think, I feel like I already talked about that. Looking at
my notes. She’s a really good student. She took notes and prepared well. I’m so proud.
I was not a good student when
you had me though. No, you were just, you, you were, you behaved, right? You were definitely like, I’m going to follow the rules, all of that, but the application of yourself, because I don’t think you believed in yourself.
I don’t know,
not
even a little bit. And how crazy is it, by the way, how many years ago was that, and I still remember where you sat in my classroom?
I know I do too. That’s who was in the
class. Yep. And there’s actually a picture of me super pregnant with you, I think. Yeah, somewhere. Um, but I think about that often.
I’m like, that’s, that’s who I am. I am a teacher and I invest every piece of me when I’m with my people. Um, I’m going to go ahead and move you forward a little bit here to the next thing, um, because you have been working with me. I worked with you just like it was for weight loss to begin with, and then we worked to get you pregnant.
I say we, I was not present, but I helped prepare your body and help you in like in the right. Oh, that sounds so terrible. Um, Okay. Thank you. I helped you prepare your body and your health of all things, um, to help you get pregnant with literally little to no struggles and you’ve had your little man. So we’ve gone through not even thinking about babies to preconception, to conception, to a full pregnancy with little to no issues.
Um, we have done delivery. We have done postpartum together. Talk to me how your life has changed since having your little man and specifically your little man and the struggles you had integrating self care in this huge life change that women go through. Oh, man.
Um, you know, every, I think every mom to be starts out.
Oh, excited, obviously. Yep. Um, and they dream of everything that they’re gonna get to do with their baby and all these things that you see on the internet, TikTok specifically, and it just happens and it’s It’s so unique to you, the experience of having your baby and becoming a mom that it, you know, I don’t want to scare anybody, but it almost it flips you upside down.
It’s insane. So I, um, you know, I had a, Pretty traumatic birth with my son and, um, you know, the days leading, I had to be induced because I think I was just so nervous. My blood pressure would not, um, stay down. So they were like, I don’t know, we’ll just get them out, which was fine, but, um, Danielle was there, like, every time something happened, I’d be like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, and once he was here, uh, it was surreal, and I remember I, like, sent Daniel, it was like 15 or 20 minutes, maybe, like, a voice message of my birth, and like, what happened, and oh my goodness, and, um, we came home, and it’s just, you know, That newborn blur, you know, but what I remember was The I think it was like the adrenaline I was like, oh I’m gonna make These oatmeal bites when I have a minute and I remember staying there making them like feeling like my uterus was gonna fall out still bleeding but like Leaning back on those habits that she had taught me and you know got me to this point But then, you know, motherhood really takes over and you, all you think about is baby, you know, and you put yourself on the back burner and I didn’t want to do that.
I didn’t really plan to, but when things got hard and emotions were high, I, I made the con, I would say I made the conscious decision. To, uh, just not obey the habits that I had learned, um, you know, still keeping in touch with Danielle and we were still talking, but at that time postpartum, we were working on other things, you know, there’s a lot, a lot going on and if you’re breastfeeding, you’re hungry.
And I’m trying to breastfeed and I just want to eat all day, every day. So now that I’ve rambled on, I kind of forget where I was supposed to be going. Real talk.
This is real talk. I mean, like you’re embodying our actual conversations, our live meetings together. Um, you were supposed to be talking about what it’s like to like the struggles of integrating self care into this life
change.
I gotcha. Okay. Okay. I was kind of on the right track. Okay. So.
I mean, I would ask, so I would ask my husband, can I take a bath tonight? And he’d help, you know, he’s going to help with the baby. But then you just get into this monotonous over and over like. You, you just forget, like I haven’t taken a bath in months and that was like a big thing that I wanted to continue to do, but we, um, you know, I mentioned in the beginning, my son was born with clubfoot and we knew he was going to be born with clubfoot from 20 weeks, so we had a little bit of time to figure out what.
Was going to happen when he was born and how we were going to treat this because it is treatable Not, you know, totally but it’s it’s it’s something that can be fixed and he can live a pretty normal life and then we we just got we started treatment at three weeks old and we are Still we just came out of like the treatment that should be fun.
That should have been finished at three months We just came out of it at 11 months. So, needless to say, without going into too much of the craziness, things did not go to plan. Yeah. My needs were not coming first because my son had so many and I had to use my brain power to figure out how am I going to fix this situation that we’re in?
How am I going to find a doctor that can do what needs to be done? And so now I do feel like for the past 11 months, I’ve gotten self care in here and there, but it’s not been consistent. So now coming out of, I want to say, like coming out of the haze of motherhood, we’re approaching a year, you know, things are They’re still rocky, but they’re, they’re getting better every day.
You know, I really tried to implement, um, alone time if I feel like I need it, but also time with my husband without the baby, um, date nights or we’re getting back into the routine of that. You know, that was our thing. We’d go to Mexican on date night and watch a movie and, um, but it’s just, it’s different now.
Everything happens after the baby goes to bed. Yeah. But that doesn’t mean it can’t happen still. So, um, it’s hard. It just, when people would tell you, like when people tell you before you have the baby, Oh, just wait. Oh, just wait. Like, yeah, it’s not maybe the best thing for expecting mother to hear. Yes. And they’re probably going to ignore it.
But It is hard to find time for yourself, but it’s absolutely essential. Um, I’ve had more massages in the last 11 months professionally done than I have had in my entire life. Um, so that’s great.
And I’m going to interject there. Massages in this case specifically, um, are for her nervous system and they are, um, to help manage her blood sugar.
She doesn’t know what I’m doing behind the scenes. half the time, but I challenge her to do certain things for self care because I know that it’s going to help her root causes of some issues. Um, and I’m proud of her, like every single time that she like says that she’s incorporated a massage. I’m like, that’s right.
We’ve got more blood sugar regulation support. Like I’m thinking these things behind the scenes. They’re not frivolous, but self care, we have redefined what self care is. Haven’t we had Haley?
Oh, my goodness. Yes. I was wondering if you’re going to say anything about this because it’s exciting. Oh,
look at her.
She’s got notes ready to go. I’m so proud.
Yeah, it’s, it’s, you have to reshape your mind. Like self care to me used to be, oh my gosh, my husband is going to be Working late, I’m going to have drinks with the girls or, you know, in my case, this was just Coca Cola because I can’t hang, but, or I’m going to go blow my entire paycheck at Sephora, literally, but now it’s like, I’m going to prioritize meal prepping, I’m going to spend two hours meal planning And grocery planning, where can I get this or what or whatever?
Yeah, it’s just it’s not. It’s not the, the Target runs, the Starbucks runs, we had a breakthrough last week where those are not, what was it, what did we say, refreshing, they don’t fill your
cup. They don’t fill your cup, they’re not revitalizing, they don’t put more energy into you, they actually are possibly taking energy from you because you’re worried about the finances, like, oh, I shouldn’t be, should, I shouldn’t be spending that money anyway.
So self care, we talked about last week, was like this idea of it must fill your cup. It must give to you life. It must make you feel good and not cause stress down the line. Does that make sense? Like, it’s not gonna pull from you. Self care should not pull from you. It should fulfill your cup. Like, getting nails done is not an accessory.
If you’ll notice, like, I… I don’t know if anybody pays attention to me on social media, but I did not get my nails done for about four months. Why? Because I used that money I was saving from that to pour into myself in other places, like personal therapy. And so, like Doing that. Did I need to do that? No, I did it for my mental health to be like, okay This is a physical reminder that you are using this money to get into the habit of taking care of yourself in another way So that’s just a self care.
Look at us like I’m teaching in the middle of this You’re a little testimonial here, um, but that is a way to look at self care. Um, another way I should say that just because you can afford doing something and doesn’t like stretch the, the budget or things like that doesn’t mean that you can’t make things hurt a little bit and make things be a little, um, kind of like fasting, like spiritual fasting.
Like, when you feel those hunger pangs, it should turn you to God and like pray. It’s a reminder to pray. It’s not a reminder of Oh, I didn’t eat all day. I didn’t, you know, like all of that kind of stuff. So, um, you have already touched on a ton of wins, like quite frankly, so many wins, so many changes in who you are.
Now it’s your turn. Tell us a little bit about who, what is on your heart right now? What are your roles, your desires, your passions now in the new Haley?
Oh my goodness. I have so many and I don’t even know where to start. So the new Haley. Haley 2. 0 as we like to call her. Yes. Is interested in things that the previous Haley was not.
Sourdough, um, baking in general, cooking, learning to just get in the kitchen and get my hands dirty. Um, I’m kind of starting to get interested in like gardening or like, at least I want to do like. Herbs, because I just thought that’d be cool. Um, you know, I was, I was into, we did a lot, I did a lot of walking before and during my pregnancy.
Um, and I’m trying, I’m really trying to get myself back into that, because I do enjoy it. Um, But also, I want to say like non toxic living, like I was really into that before, but not as hardcore as I feel like I’m trying to be now, so just detoxing my home and learning about ingredients that We couldn’t probably live without.
Um, making bracelets, I learned, was very, uh, therapeutic and fun. And so I have some ideas on how to implement that into my life in a very exciting way, hopefully. Um,
yeah, that’s all I can think of off the top of my head. That’s… Those are like the, the things I want to do, um, but I would say like on my heart is getting to a point where I am, how do I say this, like I had a picture in my head of how I wanted to be as a mom, how I wanted to, you know, set up sensory activities for my son and be really hands on and it, it hasn’t been like that yet.
Because we’ve just been through a lot and unfortunately we discovered miss Rachel, who we both love. Um, but now I’m excited to
get
into like Montessori kind of with him and, you know, I just want, I want him to, I can see his wheels turning now. Whereas before when, when they’re super little, you’re just, they’re just kind of looking at you. Um, obviously they’re still taking it all in, but yeah. Now I really want to start. teaching him the things that are age appropriate.
So, you know, just being a mom.
And being a mom, like that word, that terminology is so complex and so deep. And, um, also, you know, I will be in your ear reminding you to also be Haley, not just mom, um, because that’s a piece too, um, especially for caretakers. And Haley, I just want to thank you so much for joining me today.
And. Um, I totally lost track of time and I cannot believe your little man is not up yet. Um, that was a blessing there, but I am so grateful for you joining me. I’m so grateful for you sharing your story. Um, if you got anything from this episode, if you have anything that you’re like, Okay. I want to know more about working with Danielle.
I want to know more about what it’s like to work with her team, um, figure out what’s going on. Just check the show notes below. Um, you can also email me hello at crying in my cheesecake. com. Yes. Like crying, like sobbing in your cheesecake. com. Um, email me there and just. Say hey, I listened to your podcast episode.
Can I learn more? All of those things. Totally fine. Um, but again, thank you so much, Haley. If you enjoyed this episode, please rate this podcast at five stars and consider leaving a review. Leaving a review lets other people like you know that This content is out there. It helps get it in front of other people, just like us that want this content, want that freedom, want to live their life abundantly, not held back by their body size or symptoms.
All right, folks, you know the drill. I will talk to you later until next episode.
