You Deserved To Be Cared For No Matter How Busy You Might Be

Danielle knows what it is like to lose herself in her work and caring for everyone else only to realize you have lost yourself and your health somewhere along the way. Her client Carlos Scarpero knows it all too well, too. Carlos is a high level 1:1 client of Danielle’s and he shares his journey to working with Danielle, what it’s like working with her, and the improvements he’s seen in his life since taking that leap into the unknown of such a high level holistic health package.

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Transcription

 Welcome to The Crying in My Cheesecake podcast, where we are in pursuit of living life, abundantly not held back by our body size or symptoms, nor are we held back by our hurts, habits, or other obstacles in life. Learn the secrets to crush it in your health, wellness, relationships, and spiritual life. I am Danielle, your host and practitioner, and in this episode I have a guest.

I have my second gentleman that is joining us, and you guys, this episode you’re going to enjoy it is, Amazing. I don’t know about you. I have a lot of female listeners, but I don’t know about you, but it’s, something hits different when a man talks and the way he speaks about his roles and the way he talks about his, desire to be healthy.

And it’s interesting that men are so hardwired to provide, provide, provide. That they too get put on the back burner. That their health, their fun activities, their joy, all of that tends to get put on the back burner. And I’m so excited to bring with, bring to you my high level one-to-one client, Carlos Scar, Perro.

He is inspirational to me. He’s inspirational. It’s, it’s, Guys, I don’t wanna give it away, but there’s something he did, as a result of working with me that keeps the fire under my tail going because it is so inspirational. And I’m not saying that you have to do exactly what he did, but I’m just saying there’s, there’s more to life.

There is more to life than living where you are right now. If you’re not sleeping well, if you’re having cravings, if you’re having gut issues, i b s, if you’re having headaches, if you’re having low energy, We should not have energy slumps throughout the day. We should just have a steady level of energy all day long and be ready to go to bed.

We should not fear not being productive enough because we didn’t sleep well and don’t have that cognitive energy and even the physical energy. Think about how much more life abundant you could live. All right, guys. Without further ado, I’m going to bring on Carlos and I’m so excited for you. All right, here we go.

All right, Carlos, thank you so much for being here on The Crying In My Cheesecake podcast. Did you ever think you’d be on a podcast called Crying in My Cheesecake? I did

not. This is exciting.

I’m so glad you’re here. For those of you that are, listening here, obviously you’re not with us, but those of you listening, Carlos is one of my high level one-to-one clients and I absolutely adore my time with him.

I. Every week we get together and we have chats and so forth. And I want you to get to know who this gentleman is and who I’ve gotten to know as this very strong and resilient man and businessman. And I think that you’re going to enjoy his story. And actually, I think he’s the second dude that I’ve even allowed on on my podcast.

So here we go. Carlos, could you do me a favor and tell us all about yourself and like who you are, what you bring to the table, what’s life like for you?

Sure. My name is Carlos Ro. I’m a mortgage loan officer. I’ve been doing it for several years now. Also network quite a bit around the Dayton area, so, several businesses in the area.

, so what else you wanna know about me?

So tell me about like, what’s life like, other than, I mean, obviously you’re married. Can you talk to us about, you know, and your ob you’re a brand new empty nester, right? Yeah, I’m a brand

new empty nester. Yes. I’ve been married for 20 plus years now. Think it over.

Do we lose, do we lose track of how long we’re married after we’ve hit the 20 mark? Is that what you’re telling me? I think

so, yes. 21. I had to do some quick math in my head here. It’s 21 years we’ve been married. Okay. Uh, yeah. I’m brand new. So yeah. Our, our son, he is 18 or 19 now, and uh, he moved out. So yeah, two of us and two dogs and a cat.

Two dogs and

a cat. So two dogs and a cat. Yeah. Yes. And that’s brand new too. The second dog is new and we’ll get into that. So yes, , you are a high level one-to-one client of mine, and you have been for what, almost two years now, is that correct? Yeah, going on two years. Yeah, almost two years now. And when you came to me a few years ago and like, so when you came to me a few years ago, what was life like?

Like what was going on with your health? What were you doing out and about? What was business like? What was life like for you? It

was a struggle. You know, I’ve, I’ve had issues for several years with I B Ss. Um, I had thyroid cancer 10 years ago, so I have energy issues, sleeping issues, and so like a lot of guys in this situation, I tend to shove it aside and don’t wanna deal with it and say it’s not that big a deal.

But the wife of course, being smarter than me realizes it is a big deal. And so she was actually your client first, as you remember? Yeah. Um, and so she lost a bunch of weight, so she. Close to three years now, I believe. Um, yes. And, and so when she got started, she got started first before I did, and she had some really good results.

And so just, yeah, it was last Labor day of two years ago. Um, she came up to me and said, Hey, I’m having these results. It’s your turn. And. I just kind of hemmed and hawed and gave some excuses while I’m traveling. I don’t know. And then she just kind of cornered me and said, well, your travel won’t be forever, will it?

No. Well, when’s the day of your last trip? And I told her, and she’s like, great, the day after, that’s when you’re starting. I was like, uh, okay. And so, sure enough, the day of that second trip came around. That must’ve been early October when that happened. Yeah, because it was Labor Day when we initially had the conversation.

I do remember that. Okay. Um, and so after that second trip, she said, well, you know what? It’s time to sign up. And wives being wives, most you all know, I finally did reluctantly, and I was reluctant at first. Didn’t wanna confront those issues. Like a lot of people don’t want to think about giving up cookies and snacks and all that stuff.

Um, what I realize is my health’s a lot more important than the sugar. Yeah.

Yeah. It’s funny you say that your wife was the catalyst to get you moving, like toward thinking about your health and wellness. But that’s, and that’s honestly why I’m like, I wanna like share with you on here ’cause you’re vulnerable enough to share the story that many men don’t want to admit that they’ve got issues going on and they don’t.

Because the more you don’t think about it, the more it’s not there. Right? The more you don’t address it, you just keep moving on, keep working, keep doing your things. Really, it’s kind of to the detriment of your family life, right? Like you’re not able to provide as well, you’re not able to be as engaged and focused.

And it’s interesting too that you, you are also one of my typical men that I work with, that you come because your wife brought you here. I. Yeah, and I want to kind of dive into that too, because I don’t, I talk a lot about women, um, on social media, and I talk a lot about women here on my podcast. But there is this un, I guess this silent group that I work with, which is men.

And can you talk to, um, talk to my listeners here and even talk to me. Just talk to me here, what is it like working with me? What does it feel like? What is it? Is it safe? Like all those things. How is it for you to work with me?

Yeah, I do feel it’s safe that, you know, I, I’ve told you several private things that I often don’t tell other people that sometimes stuff that I haven’t even told the wife, you know, that I’ll share with you.

And you know, it’s more what I’ve realized is you’re coaching more than just health coaching. It’s overall coaching. You know, some people might call it life coaching. You know, some of them ties into business coaching, but I think that’s important because it all. Your entire life ties together. You know, if someone’s stressed about not making money ’cause they’re not doing what it takes, then that might be ’cause they’re not sleeping and it’s kind of this endless cycle.

If they’re sleeping badly, they’re eating badly and they’re not making the phone calls to make sale. You know, if you’re in sales, for example, you’re not making the calls to do what it takes to make the sales ’cause you’re feeling bad that day. Yeah, it all ties together and I appreciate that you see that it all ties together.

And, um, the other thing I like about you as a coach, you know, I’ve done several different kinds of coaching, is that, you know, some coaches are super pushy that, or say you have to do it this way. And some are the total opposite where they’re, they’ll just let you get away with anything and not call you out on anything.

You’re kind of in between that you’ll call me out when I need, when I need to be called out, and I have those occasions and then sometimes you’re just. Settling back and sometimes I’m too hard on myself and you’ll call me out and say, Hey, you are okay here. So yeah, and so that’s one of the things I appreciate about working with you.

I’m glad I can provide that and it’s, it’s truly an honor to do what I do. I don’t take it lightly that I get to sit in front of you, um, every week because it is, it’s an honor. It is something that you let me in on, on those secret pieces of you that may feel shameful that we have been taught that it’s shameful or that it’s something that is like super private and you know, as a man, like.

I look at say my dad or my husband or whatever, and they were just kind of taught to just deal with it and move on. No matter what it is, I say it, and I mean literally everything, the stressors, the financial woes, the um, marital woes, the um, business, like whatever it may be, your health, just kind of be told what to do.

Move on. And if you like the advice, do it. If you don’t, just kind of move on. Like there’s no, um, there’s no connection there. Something that you bring to the table for me is that connection. Like, I appreciate you engaging, you truly will say, Hey, you know, I don’t know what we’re gonna talk about today, but it just like, we just kinda let it go where it goes, right?

Yes. You fill in your form. Yes, you fill in all of that, and we kind of use that as a guide just to make sure we don’t forget anything. But really you’re leading the conversation every week, right? Yeah, for sure. I. And you mentioned before, um, when you were talking, you travel a lot. Yeah. One of the big excuses that a lot of people have, and I’ll be the first to say I did too, was Oh, I’m traveling so much.

I’m so busy. And your, your calendar is quite full. Let’s be real. It’s really quite full. How has working with me helped you navigate this lifestyle that you live because of your business?

I mean, I think that someone traveling, I mean, first of all it’s not an excuse and I think it’s all the more important because you know, when you’re traveling, you know, especially for me traveling on business for the mortgage industry, you know, there’s alcohol there.

There’s oftentimes not the best food choices or might be hor D’s or whatever. And being able to think about that day of what am I gonna do? And that, that is part of our conversation that week. I’m like, okay, what am I. And what, what is that game plan for success during that trip? Um, because for me, with my, my stomach issues, you know, if I don’t have a game plan, then yeah, it’s gonna mess me up.

I probably won’t sleep well and, and then my stomach’s gonna hurt the next day and then I won’t get what I need out of that event. So definitely being able to have that game plan in advance certainly helps me. I noticed the difference, you know, when I, one of the first few events when we first started working together or before we started working together, you know, I’d have stomach issues in middle the event, and then I’d feel upset because I spent all this money to go somewhere and either didn’t enjoy myself or didn’t get, I wasn’t my best self ’cause I was not feeling well ’cause I didn’t eat well and didn’t sleep well, and all those other

things.

Yeah, that’s a good point. Like the, the time and the money that you were missing out on. Because of your stomach issues, because you didn’t really know how to eat for your needs, like your specific needs. And the way that I help you eat for your needs is not like I do your wife. And it’s not like I do anybody else that I work with.

It’s very tailored to you, your flavors, your like, you know, what time you get up, what’s best for your stomach, what’s best to like, you know, get through your lifestyle. And I. Like your tenacity and your resilience to, you know, not necessarily, not necessarily do everything perfectly, but be consistent.

That’s been huge, that’s been pivotal in your changes. So talk to me about what kind of dieting programs did you do before and what were the results of those?

So I have done Paleo, I’ve done Whole 30, um, we’ve done Weight Watchers. I think the difference is this one held, you know, most of those things were temporary.

Like we did Weight Watchers 20 years ago and lost 30, 35 pounds, you know, whatever it was back then. But then, you know, we stopped going the meetings and got kind of bored with it. And sure enough, as soon as we stopped, the meetings came right all back. Yeah. And we didn’t really learn how to eat well either.

I mean, it was all logging some logbook, but it, they didn’t really talk about, um, Lifestyle changes and you know how to, how to eat right. You know, be like, oh, eat five Doritos instead of 15. You know that, but you’re still eating junk. You know, that type of thing. And they didn’t, they didn’t talk about quality of food at all.

And so, so that was the problem with Weight Watchers and doing Whole 30, which Whole 30 is good and temporary, which I mean, it’s designed to be temporary. And so, yeah, I mean, we did it for month power through for. Yeah, you feel guilty when you eat that little piece of sugar. And then I remember Kate, and we were, it was like during Easter, she ate, ate like an Easter egg or something and I was like, you broke the rules.

And she’s like, I don’t care. I want my Easter egg. You know, stuff like that, you know? Yeah. It’s so restrictive that you end up feeling guilty if you have that one piece of candy who care. It’s, it is a piece of candy. Um, and it’s not, it’s not sustainable. I mean, it’s a good. Starting place. And it’s a good reset and I’m glad I did it, you know, because it, it proved that I can do it, but at the same time, it’s not meant to be a long-term fix.

And, and so, yeah. So those are the two main ones we’ve done. I can think off the top of the head,

And those diets, like there are benefits to the method, I would say to each of those things you mentioned. But what you did say as well is that there was no sustainability, there was no teaching of sustainability or what to do next, and there was also nothing.

It was all about food. In different ways, but it was nothing. Everything that we, that I work with is nothing about the food. Like the food is something very superficial that we can change. You can do that on a win. Like that’s not a big deal. We can always, like you said, just you know, get through it and push through and, and do it.

But the thing that I also do with you is I tell you what foods are going to benefit you. Like, for example, you were just on antibiotics for a, a minor surgery. You had. And especially with I B s and gut issues, those of you that are listening, you know where my thoughts are on this. I’m thinking Uhoh, like, where’s his, where’s his gut floor gonna go?

Where’s his microbiome gonna go? Well, we know it’s gonna tank, especially with the antibiotic he was on. We knew it was gonna tank. And what’s interesting is helping him through how to deal with that antibiotic response. Specific to his needs. So what would work for me would not like after I have an antibiotic, I would not do exactly what I recommended to him to do or, and the dosing of things because my gut is not as sensitive as his, I actually have another problem.

Mine actually goes toward candida. So that’s where my gut goes when I have too many antibiotics or have antibiotics in me. His gut went a different way. So being a bio individual and being treated as a bio individual, learning how foods can help you and learning how to live in harmony with fun foods is also.

Huge. And I think that that’s important because I work in this world of holistic wellness, right? And we think of holistic wellness as, oh, you have to be super crunchy. Andy only organic, and he only beats and all, you know, like, all like I’m thinking of homestead, right? Like the um, little house on the prairie is what I’m kind of thinking.

That image, but there is a place for both. There is a place to be in the middle and live in harmony with the other things. And it’s about navigating. What do you do after you have had a highly processed food? Like how do we, how do we combat that and how do we get our minds wrapped around that? How do we take the identity from bad, like being labeled as bad if you’re eating a quote unquote bad food.

And so that’s a lot of what we talk about and undo mindsets, right? I.

Yeah, absolutely. And when you’re talking about different diets, it just remind me, another one I did was a juice fast, so. I had watched one of those Netflix specials and where they talk about juicing as the cure for everything and blah, blah, blah.

And they had some guy that did a 90 day juice fast or whatever. And so we went and bought a juicer. I did it for four days and completely wrecked my stomach. And now I understand about blood sugar levels and stuff, but I didn’t understand the time, you know, they made it sound like it’s good for everybody.

Well, everybody but Carlos apparently. Um, and now I’m working with you. I understand. Oh, okay. Yeah, everybody’s different and, uh, And I’m sure there are people it does work for, but for me definitely not.

Yeah. Um, so there is one, every time I think about like, you know, as a, you know, as a business owner, it’s hard.

Like it, we can get in our own heads and just feel like, is what I’m doing even helping someone, right? Yeah. Like, is it even worth it? And every time I get that thought in my head, I think about this one experience you had and it. Lights me on fire all over again. So I like to talk about with my clients and members and things when they, when they join me on this podcast, like, what is a pivotal win they’ve had since working with me?

And I’m gonna jump in and just say, literally jump in and say this one thing. That keeps my fire going is that Carlos jumped out of an everliving airplane, like a perfectly good airplane. He jumped out of one as his bucket list for It was your 50th birthday, right? Yeah, that was right after my birthday.

Okay. Talk to us about that whole experience. Like what? Like that was kind of a big deal leading up. That was a good thing to help you get some weight off. Talk to us all about all of this whole experience.

Yeah. So it’s, it’s one of those things I’ve been wanting to do for years. Um, but then, you know, when you go online and research skydiving, the first thing it does, it’ll say it’ll mention weight requirements.

And I was above that weight. And above that weight. Above that weight. But you working with you, I did get the weight off, and then finally it was just one of those things, days came around in the last year and my wife’s like, what do you wanna do? And she, I said, well, I go skydiving. And she said, you’re nuts, but Okay.

So, yeah, we planned it out. We ended up going down the Florida Keys and got out in the keys and yeah, we were, we made it under the weight and yeah, we did it and it was extremely scary, but we did it and I screamed all the way down. I would’ve poor guy’s ear, but yeah. But yeah, we did it and it was incredible experience for sure.

That is something that only you could have done like that is something that, like, that goal of getting to that weight to do this crazy thing of jumping out of a perfectly good airplane, um, that only you could do it. And how stinking inspiring is that, that you did what it took to get to that point, but also, That stepping in, like I wanna take that a little bit deeper too, and like stepping out of an airplane is nuts in my opinion.

However, that thrill of the unknown, it’s like, it’s almost like that thrill of the unknown and that fear of the unknown of starting to work with me allowed you to have that, okay, I can do this. Okay, I can do this, I can do this, and I can step into another unknown. And it’s that way with your business, that’s what, like, you’re taking other steps in other areas of your life that you’re stepping into unknowns purposely.

You’re stepping into uncomfortable situations purposely, and that’s huge. So anyway, thank you for inspiring me with that specific example. Um, but what are some other wins that you’ve had since working with me, whether weight related or anything else?

Sleeping a lot better. You know, I remember. We had that conversation where I was convinced I had a sleeping disorder, and you’re like, no you don’t.

No you don’t. No you don’t. You do this and this and this. And then finally I listened and got the, ended up getting the glasses that help you sleep better and changed my supplements, changed my sleep routine, and sure enough, now I sleep a lot better. So I, I think that’s a huge win for me. That made huge difference in just how I live because I was just so exhausted before, because I would sleep four or five hours, wake up.

And sometimes I sleep at all and I wake up and then this caffeine fix or sugar fix to get through my day to push through. And now I realize, oh, I don’t need that. So that’s been very helpful for me.

I like how you said, how you just put it, like I said, no you don’t. No you don’t. Because I am, because

that’s what it was.

I mean, I’m, I, I remember literally had that argument. Wife isn’t listening to me. My wife’s like, maybe she’ll, Danielle. It was, I think it was a month or two where it was literally every conversation was like that. Yep. And then, because I wasn’t really paying attention, I was trying to find that easy fix.

Yeah. And then I finally paid attention and changed my habits. Sure enough, it

worked out. And like in that, you know, we are told like, okay, so let’s back up a minute though and not, I’m not putting blame on you by any means because look at Western medicine and, or I should just say modern medicine right now.

We cannot necessarily trust what our doctors tell us. So we have to Google, we have to ask questions. We have to continue pressing until we finally get the answer. You are, uh, not unlike anybody else, where we’re conditioned to not necessarily believe what we’re told, especially when it comes to our health because we have been let down so many times, whether it be a dieting protocol, whether it be a doctor, whether it be a nutritionist, what have you, we have been let down so many times, so I don’t blame you.

You gave me practice of standing firm with what I know to be true. I mean, you’re there for me, right? And absolutely. But that is interesting to make that connection there that we don’t, we are not, I don’t know. We live in a culture where we can’t just trust anything anymore, especially now that we have AI coming in and chat.

G P T right now is stuck in 2021, so, It doesn’t even have any of the knowledge from 2022 and current on certain things, right? So it’s stuck at 2021. Think about how disconnecting that is going to become, or like medicine and everything else is gonna become, if we have AI answering our MyChart messages or you know, our telehealth messages, what if that starts happening?

So I don’t fault you by any means. It is a, it’s very true, sad reality that we’re dealing with. Um, so I wanna thank you so much for coming on here. You did not have to come on here and talk about this. What would you say to another gentleman or even another woman that is contemplating working with me?

What would you tell them?

Say, just try it out. I mean, worst, worst case, you’ll end up at the same place, but I think most likely they’ll end up in a better place. And just do it. And more importantly, listen to what you say ’cause it works.

Listen to what I say. I love that. Yes. You just want brownie points is what you want.

Um, just kidding. But I want to

sugar-free brownie points. Sugar-free, gluten-free brownie points.

Yes. There we go. Um, so let’s go ahead and turn this around. I want people to get to know who Carlos is. What do you do? What’s on your heart right now? What is your passion with your, with your job, your career, all of that, because you also have a piece of my heart with.

Some of the career or some of the work you do?

Yeah, I’m a mortgage loan officer. I specialize in VA loans and that’s a little over 50% of my business. Um, got all several certification programs. I know VA guidelines pretty darn well. So you have, anybody wants a VA loan to gimme a call at (937) 572-3713 or scarper.com licensed.

Multiple states. Most of my deals are here in Ohio, but I’m licensed in nine states. And then our, uh, corporate office actually gives me access to about 33 more states. And even if I don’t know someone in this area, I’m connected to people all over the country that can help. So yeah, just gimme a call for your mortgage needs.

I’ll definitely hook you up.

All right, and I will put all of that information down in the show notes below so you can check that out. Um, if you have a friend that is in the military or um, retired, whatever, anybody that can access a VA loan, um, if you want to get them their information or get that information to them, please feel free to do that.

That is. Something that’s for, uh, those of us that are military families, a VA loan can be arduous, can be long, can be frustrating. Um, I will say I knew this ahead of time before getting the house we live in now, and the people that we worked with didn’t, weren’t as knowledgeable as Carlos is, and I wish I had known him when we moved here, but I was calling every single day to make sure, and I got our loan in 15 days.

I don’t even know if they do that anymore or if that’s even an option. But at the time, the wait for the VA loan was like 45 days. So, um, if you are interested, I know that plight, that’s why I wanted to make sure I brought him on here as well, so that you guys could have access, have another resource.

Again, I’m gonna put all those things in the show notes below so you can get ahold of him, um, and so forth. Like you said, he is licensed in nine states, has access to many other states. Um, especially if you’re here PCSing somewhere, it’s, it’s over, it’s overwhelming, right? It’s. It’s a lot. So Carlos, thank you so much for being here today.

Thanks so much for your time. You did not have to do this, and I just really appreciate it. And I just want to tell you, I am still very honored to be working alongside you, and I am thrilled every single time I see your check-in, come in and I see what progress is happening. So have a great day guys, and thank you again Carlos.

Thanks Il. Thanks for listening to The Crying in My Cheesecake podcast. I hope it encouraged you to make a next best step for your health. Take a look at the show notes for more information or other links I mentioned in the episode. And if you got to this point in the episode, come find me on Instagram and send me a dmm and tell me that you listened to this episode and what you got out of it.

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hey, i’m Danielle

I love Jesus. I love my family. And I get joy from having a front row view of people growing toward their goals because of what I’ve taught.

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