In The Unraveling You Find Abundant Life

Have you ever felt like everything in your life was unraveling whether from purposeful decisions or issues outside of your control? In this episode, Danielle’s high level 1:1 client Julie King joins her as they discuss changes in life that can distract you from honoring your body, your relationships, and your relationship with Jesus. Take a listen. You will feel seen, known, and encouraged on your journey to live life abundantly, not held back by your body’s size or symptoms.

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Transcription

Welcome to The Crying in My Cheesecake podcast, where we are in pursuit of living life, abundantly not held back by our body size or symptoms, nor are we held back by our hurts, habits, or other obstacles in life. Learn the secrets to crush it in your health, wellness, relationships, and spiritual life. I am Danielle, your host and practitioner, and in this episode I have a very special guest.

I get to work with some of the best clients on this earth, and I say clients, but they become friends or family. I have women and men whom I get to work with at very high levels in my one-to-one foundational holistic wellness package. And in this package, I get to know each of my clients at a very in-depth level.

And today, I’ve invited my client, Julie King, to join me in this episode. She is going to knock your socks off. She is going to share with you some very real and vulnerable places that she has been, why she started working with me, what she’s got from it. And she’s also going to go, and we do, we go pretty deep into some spiritual aspects and some real emotional and mental pieces of our health and wellness, and putting that in place with life that happens.

We need to understand and learn that one, we’re not alone. We’re not alone in this world, and we are actually here for just a short split moment of time. I mean, we’re done. Our life is done. I have aging parents and seeing every time they get older, that means I’m getting older. And last week I had a teenager.

I, I have a teenager in my home and I love teenagers by the way, so it’s not scary to me, but I have a teenager. And being a teenager, I’m not 25 anymore. I feel better than I did when I was in my twenties. In my thirties, I have learned to find myself. In my forties, it’s time to live as Danielle live, my authentic being.

And Julie gives so much good perspective of what it’s like to go through life change and to, it’s like, like she doesn’t make it. She doesn’t make it like, oh, once you’ve hit a certain age, you found yourself. It’s once you hit a certain age or go through a season of upheaval in life, you get to find your new self.

We’re constantly evolving into this, um, into who God wants us to be at each stage of our lives. And it’s so important to pull back, take a moment, pay attention to the, or, get rid of the distractions in our lives, or acknowledge the distractions in our lives so that we can get rid of them, so that we can live life abundantly on this earth as we are promised.

Now. Take a moment. Get yourself ready. Fold the laundry. Listen to this in the car on the way home, wherever you’re listening to this episode, I want you to really hone in because I think, actually, let me scratch that. I know you are going to be seen in this episode. You are going to feel connection in this episode.

It is probably one of the best episodes I’ve done or posted here in a very long time. Enjoy. Julie, thank you so much for joining me on The Crying and My Cheesecake podcast. I am so grateful you are here. I’m so grateful that you, uh, even offered your time and energy and I know you’re sitting in the car right now because you have chaotic stuff going on at home.

You have a dog barking and all the things, and I really wanna dive in because you are such a blessing here in my life. It is such an honor to work alongside you and seeing how far you have just. Transform, I’m just gonna call it transforming how far you have transformed so far. Mm-hmm. And your eagerness to continue that path so that you can serve God better, serve your family better, and serve, um, just the community better.

So how about I just welcome you here and just thank you so much for being

here today. Thank you. I appreciate the invite. It’s a pleasure to be here today with you.

Yes. I, uh, you, how about we just start here? Why don’t you tell me about what’s going on in your life right now?

Okay. So how long is this podcast again?

Um, no. Um, so, uh, this has been a little bit of a whirlwind of a few months. And so, um, the beginning of July, our daughter, um, got married, well, actually the middle of May. We moved, um, we moved about an hour away, um, to a new community. Um, and I’m sure we’ll talk about that a little bit more later. Um, but we did that move and then six weeks later, uh, our daughter got married.

Um, it was our first child to, um, get married and go through that whole process and it’s, you know, it’s a whole thing with a daughter, right? Yeah. And, um, so that was, um, the beginning of July. And now we are kind of, um, settling into this new space. Our son, um, has been living with us for the summer. Um, he is doing an internship before his last year at Purdue, and uh, he’s wrapping that up this week.

And so, um, next week we will kind of officially be open nesters again and in this new season and, um, and this new space and what all that entails. So there’s just been, um, a lot of change. I would, I would say as, uh, I’m, I’m living in, in, um, a space of, of complete and utter change in so many different places in my life

right now.

Yeah. And when you say change, it is truly an upheaval because when you think about moving, so you were a stay at home mom for however many years mm-hmm. Taking care of, you know, how we are, we take care, we’re like the admins of our home. We’re running everything. We’re keeping the calendar. We’re kind of just making sure everybody’s, everybody’s still alive.

Right. Alive and thriving. Yes.

Yes. Volunteering right and left. Yep. Yep.

Because we have the time, right? Yes. Yes. And we want to be seen and, and, and, you know, make sure other people are taken care of. So you did that and then, so it’s not just this whole transformation and new, it really is a life change for you because you left that season.

Yes. When you stepped out of that home and moved into a new home, you literally cut ties with that season. Yes. Let alone. The move, like all the stress of the move. Yes. The child getting married. Your daughter getting married. Mm-hmm. I mean, all of this stuff is like whoa. Like whoa. Yes. It’s huge. It’s not anything small.

Yes. And so you And it was on purpose. Yep. It was a

choice. Yep. Um, you know, ’cause sometimes things happen to us that are out of our control. Um, and these were not life changes that were out of our control. Um, but they were also, I think, necessary, um, to move into this new season. And

what, what does it feel like, what did it feel like before?

Like, so you guys were kind of contemplating the whole move. You guys were just, it was just kinda like thrown it out there. There were some, you know, circumstances around that that would make things better in some cases. Right. To do that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You know how the pros and cons, like we all do that.

Yes. What was the catalyst to finally, to stepping into that unknown? Because that’s something I love about you. You literally scuba dive and jump into the unknown willingly. Yes.

All the time. Sometimes. Sometimes in the dark,

sometimes in the dark. Like literally jump into the unknown. And I love that leadership skill or that, I guess that freedom that you exhibit in your spirit.

That there’s just this ultimate trust. So what was the catalyst for you? Because let’s just, let’s be real. Our home is safe. Yes. Our life. If we create a safe life, it’s awesome. We, why would you want to change that? So talk to us about that. Why? Yes. Why would you want to do that? So,

um, it was early fall that my husband first kind of broached the topic with me and was like, what would you think?

And, you know, the catalyst for that was that he has been commuting 42 miles one way for 17 years. We made that choice, um, when our children were little, um, because of the school corporation and the area that we wanted to be in. And he was willing to make that sacrifice, to make that drive, to enable us to do that well as kids, you know, grown, graduated, are no longer connected to the schools and the community in that way.

And, um, no matter which way he went to work, there was ridiculous construction happening and. It was, it was taking up two and a half to three hours of his time every single day, um, on the road. And I mean, let’s just be honest, um, we’re not getting younger, so we were just really recognizing, um, that it was really starting to take a toll on him physically.

Um, just even, um, you know, I just, just even his disposition, he wasn’t, wouldn’t feel like going and doing things because he’d be so tired from driving. The last thing he wanted to do was get in a car and drive to go out to dinner or to go to, you know, uh, an outdoor concert or something fun like that. And so it was also dramatically impacting our ability to really embrace this kind of, I like to call an open nest season because you know, your kids still come back.

Yep. Um, and it’s really to the fullest. And so, you know, he kind of suggested to me, and, and it really did come out of left field. Like, I was like, what? Um, but he said, I’m not, you know, don’t expect you to make a decision right now. Let’s just think about it. Let’s start the conversation. And so, over the course of the next kind of month, the next couple months, you know, I really wrestled with it because it was all the things that, you know, you said it’s that letting go of the home.

I raised my children in, um, the cul-de-sac that they rode their bikes in and played with friends. The, you know, the community that we had, um, and. And I think there was some of it that you feel like if you let go of the physical components of that, that you’re also letting go maybe of the memories Yeah.

And the connection to it and, and you know, the Lord just really worked on my heart during that time timeframe and um, you know, and working with you during that timeframe and doing a lot of journaling about like what are those feelings and what, where do they come from? Mm-hmm. And why am I processing it this way?

Yeah. And if I hold onto this and I stay here, am I really stuck in a place that God doesn’t want me to be? And is it that part of this is a pruning process because he’s got a new season of growth ahead of me and a new fruit? That he wants to produce in my life and I have to be willing to be pruned Yeah.

In those really hard places. And, um, and it wasn’t until we went on a trip and I, and, and, and that’s, you know, it’s easy for me to say that now in hindsight, but at the time I, I, you know, I really wrestled with that. Yeah. Right. And the implications of that. And it wasn’t until we went on a trip in November that, um, we were away from, and it was an extended trip, so he wasn’t commuting and he wasn’t, and it wasn’t until that moment that I really saw a very different part of him come out.

And when we came back from that trip, I knew, I knew I had to do something different. Yeah. And. In that moment, um, I was, I was, you know, the one night I remember I was sitting in my study and the Lord prompted me to pick up a devotional book that I, it had been given to me as a gift. I knew I had it, but I had never, I’d never read it.

It was sitting on a shelf and I went over and I got that off the shelf and I opened it up to the very first devotional. And you and I had a long conversation about this, but I opened that devotional that night. And the very first one, um, was what if, and. The author, you know, challenged. Why is it that anytime we face an unknown like that, we face a scenario?

Um, that, that, I mean frankly just is fear ridden, right? Yeah. You know, like, oh my goodness, and we automatically start making a list of what ifs. Yep. And his challenge in that was why are the what ifs always negatives. Why is it, what if something bad happens? Yep. Why? If you know this, what if this fails?

What if this happens? What if I, you know, get sick? What if I, you know, fill in the blank? Whatever your fear of the what if is, and, and why is it that we always default there? And instead, his challenge was, what if. Your, your answer to that question is a positive. Like what if my will is perfectly done in your life today?

Yep. What if I work all things for your good today? Yes. What if I heal you today? Yes. What if, you know, and, and it was, and that was such an aha moment for me. I literally sat there and was like, I can’t imagine being in a, you know, sometimes we are given things to read or to listen to or something, and what a reason we don’t get to it.

Yep. And you know it, I’ve always found that the Lord returns that back to you in just the right moment. And that was that moment because I’m not sure, had I read that, At a different point in time that it would’ve resonated with me in the same way. And in that moment I sat there and went, yes. What if I say yes to this thing?

Mm-hmm. And the Lord works all of it for our good. Yep. And there’s this really incredible thing that comes out of it. What if I’m stagnant in my ministry here and he wants to move me to some place where he can expand my territory? Yes. Yes. And give me an a different, a different level of ministry and what does that look like?

Um, and am I willing to take that step into complete and utter unknown? Yes. And trust completely in that And. So as I sat there, I was like, okay, well this is clearly the devotional I need to start using right now. So the next morning I got up and the very next devotional out of that book was build. And it was, the whole conversation for that one was basically, what if, um, you know, it’s so much harder to break things down.

It’s, you know, it’s easy to break your arm but to rebuild it, you know, takes surgeries and all these things or you know, or you know, to break a friendship versus building one. You know, all of those things. And that devotional ended and there was a paragraph, and then there was a space and there was one line and it said, it’s time to build.

Hmm. And I literally sat there and cried. Because I was like, because what my husband, I, I didn’t say this earlier. What he was asking me to do was build a new house. He wanted to actually build one. Mm-hmm. He’s a builder. And, um, and I don’t know that I’ve ever had something, had the Lord speak to me so directly and so unmistakably, you know, to literally say, Julie, it’s time to build.

Yep. And, and me have to say, okay, yes Lord, here I am. Send me. Yes. And that was, um, that was such a profound moment, um, of transformation and letting go. Um, Because as you and I have talked, you know, so much of, um, what you do and what you have been doing with me isn’t revolved around just about like my eating and those types of things, but it’s like, what does wholeness and wellbeing really look like Yes.

In all areas of your life? And to recognize that my willingness to surrender in that moment was also a step toward my wholeness and my wellbeing. Yes. In ways that we don’t always recognize or understand. Right? Yep.

And so I got up, um, and I walked down the hall and I looked at my husband and I said, it’s time to build. He said, what?

And I said, I was just having my quiet time and the very last line of my devotions said, it’s time to build, so let’s do it. And he was like, okay. And it’s, and that was what started, that was what started, um, this ball rolling.

And I think that that right there, the fact that you were willing, that catalyst of.

Him even bringing that up. Mm-hmm. And you being wise enough to understand that, you know, there’s this thing of like respecting our husbands and like respecting their wishes. And we do, I like, I personally believe that we are to submit to our husbands and if they are bringing something up, we need to listen.

Yes. And instead of you, just like you felt that kickback, you felt that kickback, like, ooh, like oh my gosh, I’m going to quote unquote lose everything like you just said. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All the negative things come up, right? Yes. And instead you took it directly to God. You took your fears to God and he met you in that moment.

And then not only did you do that, you were working alongside me and we were discussing and going through all of this, because like you said, I, yes, I can help you. I can give you meal plans, I can tell you what to eat, I can tell you how to eat. I can tell you I. What supplements to take. I can tell you what medicines, go talk to your doctor about this medicine.

You might need that kind of thing. Mm-hmm. But that is not all that I do. Yes. Because what I bring to the table is that I care about your very soul and how you are existing on this earth for God, because we’re here for him. Yes. Everything we encounter is to point people to him. And one of my favorite quotes is from Christine Kane, and I use it almost as like my life, uh, my life quote.

And it’s, I wanna bring as many people home with me as I can. Mm-hmm. Yes. So I want my life, my very existence to point to God in everything I do now, am I perfect? We all know that’s not the case, but I am trying. Yes. And the, and the thing is, is it’s, I have to surrender my will to his will, but I want that in my clients’.

I want you to love God so deeply that upheaval in all of your life is not going to shake you. Yes. That grief. And you, we haven’t even touched on this, and I’m not sure if you wanna go there and that’s okay. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. There’s been a lot of grief over this past year as well. Yes. And this grief is so personal, and I don’t mean that all grief isn’t personal.

Mm-hmm. I mean, that this grief is literally grief of the pruning process and your mentors and the people that, like, you’re, you’re tight knit. Mm-hmm. Close community. Yes. And we know that pruning, I went through a season of pruning last year as well, and pruning is painful. Mm-hmm. I don’t, we don’t think about that when we’re pruning trees.

We’re pruning our tomato plants. We’re doing all of that. We don’t think that, oh, it’s just to help make ’em grow better. It’s to help make them more fuller, richer. Like we can figure that out with our plants, but we don’t figure that out with us because it hurts. Right. And it hurts because we have invested time and energy and money and what, like our commodities into these things or these people.

And when all of a sudden poof, they’re gone. It’s painful. Yes, yes. ’cause there wasn’t, oh, go ahead.

Well, no, I was just gonna say that’s, that’s one of the things, um, that you have helped me understand and has really been such an aha moment for me through this process, is how deeply my emotions and my, um, and, and my spiritual state, um, impact my physical wellness.

Yes. And how, um, How infinite, intimately woven my coping mechanisms have been to, um, to food and to eating and to, you know, and what that looks like is for different, for all of us. Um, but I’m not sure. I think those have been some of my biggest aha moments have been connected to, oh my goodness, I had this really incredibly stressful thing happen and I stopped eating.

Yes. Or I stopped walking, or I stopped, you know, whatever. Um, in that moment and, and pushing through that. And, and so then the snowball of how those emotional things impact us start, um, rippling over into other areas of our lives. Yes.

And it’s, you know, when we think of root cause, oh, and I will first wanna say, like you said, how interwoven everything is mm-hmm.

Down to our food. But it’s also reverse. It’s interwoven. When we are in a good spiritual and emotional place, we are going to eat better. We’re going to take care of ourselves better. And thus our ministry outwards, whether it’s caretaking actually in the church, whether it’s whatever it is mm-hmm. Is so much better and honoring of God.

And I feel like that ripple effect that you’re talking about, it’s like a thumb. Yes. It’s like a thumb that’s pressing on you and you cannot budge. And so getting to the root cause of, well, why did I stop eating? Why did I stop? Mm-hmm. Um, why did I stop going for walks? Why did I stop hanging out with people?

Well, yes. It doesn’t necessarily boil down. I always say it’s never about the food. The food is a con, is a, is a side effect. Mm-hmm. The, it’s a symptom. The mm-hmm. Um, the fear and worry is a symptom of something underneath, and you said it earlier, it’s the lens at which you’re processing things and understanding the lens at which you’re processing the things is huge and sometimes, not, sometimes all the time.

We need to be reminded whose we are and why we are here, and that the things that we encounter here are mere earthly matter. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t ask for help to navigate the mere earthly matter. Yes. Yes. And the mere earthly matter is, you know, the, the things, the chaos, the chaoticness, the, the, um, all the distractions.

Mm-hmm. And. We can be distracted by different dieting modalities, by comparing ourselves, progress our life to other people. And esp like I know that men do it too, but it’s very, very visible and ingrained in us as women. Yes. We’re always comparing, and especially with social media now, uh, we’re comparing like, I can’t imagine being a brand new mom in this day and age.

I cannot. Oh, I agree. I can, I, I, I just, I can’t, um, I can’t. No. So no. Like that whole comparison thing and that whole worry of, am I doing enough? Am I pleasing enough people? Am I worth enough? Well, of course you are. Jesus died 98.5 degree blood, 98.5 degree blood. Yes. On that cross, of course you have value.

Yes, of course. You’re worth the time and investment into yourself because he wants you here. Yes. And you know, you think about it like, my parents are aging. I know your mom’s aging as well, and mm-hmm. It’s like we’re gone. Yes. Oof. The time flies and you know, as having kids coming out of your, out of your home, it flies.

Yes. Yes. I like, well, and I think, you know, that’s some of what, you know, led me to you to begin with was, you know, I, um, I became a mid-century modern. I turned 50. I love that. And, um, I, you know, we just seeing and experiencing these changes, you know, in my body and in my health and of course, you know, you know, doctors start, um, advising this and that, and I think, um, the information is so confusing.

You know, and that was what you and I talked about at length when, you know, when I first kind of did my consultation with you, I just, I, you know, I think I told you, I just was so completely and utterly confused Yep. By all of the information and that I had been dealing with that since I was 16 years old.

Because my dad had open heart surgery when he was 41 and I was a sophomore in high school. And that started that process for us. And, and so I, you know, over the course of, you know, 30, 35 years, I had seen so many changes in what the party line was Yeah. As it relates to heart health and cholesterol and, you know, all those things.

And, you know, the eat broccoli, don’t eat broccoli, eat, you know, eat eggs, don’t eat eggs, that, you know, that I found myself in a state of just utter confusion and, and really paralysis Yeah. On what to eat and how to care for my body, especially as I was starting to experience all of these changes, um, that are happening.

And, and that was really what initially led me to you. Right. And it wasn’t until we really started. Digging in into some of those broader, um, conversations about, you know, things that were happening and how I was responding to them. Yeah. And, um, you know, and the journaling prompts. You get me with those every week.

You get me with the journaling prompts and, um, and I gotta tell you, um, those really make me step back and wrestle about like, where, where did that, where did my view on that come from? Like, where, where was that written into my psyche? That something, you know, one, one of the things in particular is, you know, you know, I’ve talked about my phobia about a scale.

Yep. And, you know, and you’ve given me permission, stop stepping on it. Don’t, don’t use the scale. That does not define who you are and it is not a determination of wellbeing. Yep. And that was so freeing for me. Something so simple. Yep. Um, you know, and I, you know, I think those are some of the things that, you know, we get so bombarded with information that it is hard to filter through and find Okay, what’s really true in this.

Yeah. And to be able to come to an understanding that my truth may not be your truth, and what defines wholeness and wellbeing for me is gonna be different than what defines it for you. Yep. But that doesn’t mean what I’m doing is wrong, or what you’re doing is wrong. One isn’t right and one isn’t wrong, and it’s helping to identify that and come into a space where you can find a healthy rhythm that is all of the aspects of your life.

Imagine, you know, when we go to the doctor, they have charts. If you don’t fit on this chart, you’re not healthy. Yes. If you don’t eat these things, you’re not healthy. Mm-hmm. If your labs are not within these ranges, you’re not healthy. Yes. There is no wiggle room for lifestyle for the way you want to live life for your spiritual health.

There is no counseling for any of that. You must fit on this scale and be within a certain number because of your height.

Yes. And that has been my nemesis my whole life. And that’s, you know, what you and I talked about early on because. Um, I’m from Jam and so and so. Yep. Me. Do you know? So I don’t know if I just have really dense muscle muscle tissue or my bones are ha I don’t know.

But I literally have always been since the time I was, you know, um, a kid and an athlete, I have always been 15 to 20 pounds heavier than people think I’m Yes. Or, or what my height or size says I should be. Yeah. And I think a real turning point for me that made me, um, turn away from, uh, a doctor and, I mean, and he was a friend, he was a neighbor.

It wasn’t like this was somebody I didn’t know or didn’t know me. And I remember going into him one day ’cause I wasn’t feeling, you know, just kind of struggling. And, I dunno, I think at that point in time I was, I was probably heavier than I had been. Um, I think I was around 1 75. I’m five four, but I was like a size 10.

And so it rattled me to my bones. When, to your point, I didn’t, uh, on that chart, I wasn’t the numbers that I was supposed to be. And he put on my permanent medical record that I was morbidly obese so that for insurance purposes he could prescribe a diet pill for me that he did not discuss with me. And I had absolutely no intentions of taking.

But I walked out there and I looked at my, and I was like, morbidly obese. What is talking about?

And that is the kind of message that has haunted me my entire life. Yep. And you know, and it’s how do you reconcile that information and how do you not allow that to seep in and say, communicate to you that you are unhealthy. Right. Right. And that’s, and that was what you and I really like. You really had to change that mindset for me, didn’t you?

Yep. Because I, I had been told that for so long Yes. For so long. And I know one of the things as a mother I was, was a great fear for me was that I was going to pass that on to my daughter. Yes.

Oh my gosh. You’re right. So deep.

And I was crying so hard. To not give her those same body image issues. Yep. You know, and the thing that’s interesting, ’cause I go back and I, and you know, you, you go back and you look at pictures of different years.

And I remember, um, here recently, I’ve been, uh, a couple, uh, pictures have been popping up from all, like 10 years ago. And I was like, oh, my hair was so cute like that. I should go back and I should get my hair cut like that again. Right. And then I’m like, oh, it’s not the haircut, it’s the 10 year younger face.

Right. But you know, you look at those pictures and you go, you don’t, I don’t, for me, my weight fluctuates, um, pretty regularly. Um, but I can’t tell you in any of those pictures what size I was at that point in time. I can tell you how I was feeling. At that point in time, um, where, where my mental state was in that season.

But I can’t tell you what size I was wearing or how much I weighed. And that makes, and I think that’s significant. Yes.

Because that’s what matters. That’s what’s, that’s the legacy that’s carried on. Mm-hmm. That is what you, the way you feel. So I always say your insides match your outsides. Yes. So if you feel crummy, you’re not, you’re gonna look a certain way, you’re gonna look crummy to you.

Maybe people won’t know. ’cause we, you know, we’ve perfected this idea of masking everything, right? Yes. But you may feel crummy and to you, you may look crummy. But what is, what is actually the crummy thing you just said? I can tell you how I was feeling. And how many times have we, as women been told that we have to shut off our emotions to be seen a certain way in public?

Mm-hmm. We cannot be, we’re overly emotional. We’re mm-hmm. Um, what is that called? Irrational. Yes. And really, we have not been taught how to properly sit in our feelings mm-hmm. For generations. Yes. So our own mothers cannot teach us how to sit in our emotions. My mom ignores every single emotion and it’s under the rug that you can see all the emotions, but you can, by now, you know, she’s how, anyway, you can see all the emotions.

Now it’s under that rug. I was taught to sweep it under the rug, but sweeping it under the rug. Put 320 pounds on my body. Sent me to alcohol. Mm-hmm. Like alcohol addiction, like drinking in excess. Mm-hmm. And sent me to food addiction, sent me to other things and it mm-hmm. All of those are symptoms of me not knowing how to deal with my emotions, my spiritual life, and actually be happy and whole and experience wellbeing.

I don’t think I’ve ever experienced wellbeing until I moved into this more holistic perspective career. Yes. It doesn’t mean I’m happy all the time. It doesn’t mean that life is easy, it means I’m resilient. I am flexing. I can go to the gym and flex my muscles and you’ll be like, whoa. I don’t wanna mess with her.

But I also want that resilience muscle as strong as my physical body.

Yes. Yes. And you, you know, you touched on the, the numerous things that have happened and for me in the last year and. Even just, even just a couple of those things, you know, when you start sharing, people are like, what? Yep. You know, but the accumulation of all of those things, um, over the course of the last year, um, have been, I’m not sure I could, I’m not sure I could have done it in a different season of my life if I wasn’t where I was and I didn’t, you know, if I hadn’t been working with you and I hadn’t been, you know, with this different mindset and approach, I’m not sure that I physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, could have processed it and continued to put one foot in front of the other through all of the things.

Through all of the things, because you touched on grief. You know, one, one of the very first things that happened while we were in the process of doing the, you know, wrestling with the idea of moving, was that my, um, spiritual mentor from 13 years died in a just fluke freak accident. Um, and like I had been with her two days before and 20 minutes before it happened, she had sent me pictures.

Um, and, you know, having to, and, and, and, and so having somebody so important in your life and having that ripped from you so unexpectedly was huge. And then, you know, over the course of the next, um, couple months, I had a fallout with my best friend of 35 years. And watched our, you know, friendship disintegrate to, to the place where I am not even on speaking terms at this point with her.

Um, and then, you know, and then the move, and then, you know, the changes. And even my job has changed. Um, and the way what I’m doing, I am still at the same place, but, you know, being given permission to switch to a hybrid work schedule, which is great, but also, um, now I’m, I’m missing some of that community.

Yeah. You know, from being in the office every day and, um, but, you know, and, and in a different place and in different, so it has, it has been like, you know, a snowball of hard things. Some of them unexpected, you know, like those two things I just mentioned, and some of ’em were choices and moving forward, you know, like the move and our daughter getting married.

And, um, but the ability to process it and to journal it and to be open with the emotions and how I was processing them, um, really enabled me to push through some really hard things, some really hard things in a way that I’m still standing and I’m still laughing and I’m still, you know, um, I’m still here.

Um, and I, you know, I, I, the word that I gave you, um, yesterday, should I go ahead and share this? Yep. Go for it. Um, so. I was telling Danielle yesterday that, um, on Sunday I was sitting in our weekend services and our pastor was, um, starting a new series. And while he, while he was speaking, I just, I felt like the Lord spoke a word to me so unmistakably, and it was the word unraveled.

And I was like, unraveled. Where did that come from? And ’cause it really wasn’t even necessarily related to what he was talking about. And I, I just really processed that as I’ve now been trained to do. Yes,

yes. Like, what

does that mean? And I wrote it down, I wrote it down in my journal and, and I even put, what does this mean?

And as I really prayed over that, I started to realize what unravels tapestry, fabric, those are things that unravel. And I realized the tapestry and picture of what my life had been a year ago had systematically unraveled over the course of the last year, one row at a time. Nope. And I am now standing with a completely unraveled picture or tapestry at my feet.

And that’s very, um, destabilizing for a lot of reasons. And as I said, some of those, some of those things were choices and some of them were things that happened. But now my choices. The the what if, right? Mm-hmm. The, okay, well, what if this was meant for my good? I really believe it is. And what if God uses this to show me new character traits about him that I will get to experience in a way that I may not have if this hadn’t happened?

Um, a new season of trust, um, at what lies ahead. And, you know, he tells us, and Joshua, be strong and courageous for the Lord. Your God will go with you wherever you are and be with you wherever you go. And you know, it’s, it’s gonna take strength and it’s gonna take courage to start weaving a new tapestry.

And courage. And

courage doesn’t mean you have it all together. I. Courage. Right. You step forward in that fear like Gideon. Yes. And you do what you’re, what’s what you need to do, not just what you’re told, but you do what you need to do. Because knowing, even though you’re scared, knowing that God is there in front of you, God is there knitted in behind you.

God, is there Emmanuel right now in your presence? Yes. That’s what courage is. Yes. Yes. I love that. I love that you said that.

You know, and I think that’s, you know, that’s the thing is there is, there is not been any point in time through this whole process that, you know, I, I have felt forsaken. Um, because I know that he is with me and I know that he has not forsaken me in, in any of this, and that he is absolutely ever present and he has shown himself so clearly and has spoken to me probably in a way that I have, have not experienced in my, in my Christian walk before.

Um, you know, I already shared the example of that, you know, it’s time to build. Yes. Um, you know, and hi, you know, and even just, you know, on Sunday, him giving me that word unraveled and, and me stepping back and unpacking, okay, what, what does that mean? Mm-hmm. And, and how do I process this and how can I use that?

To change my perspective on the things that are happening and make them an opportunity Yes. Rather than an obstacle. Yes. So that, you know, I can be propelled forward into this new season with a healthy heart and a healthy mind and a healthy spirit and, you know, um, and a healthy body. And because it’s only then can I really be fully used Yes.

For the work that he has for me to do.

That’s right. It’s that freedom. Yes. I think what you’ve been talking about, this whole episode has to do with freedom. Mm. It has to do with the freedom to show up where you want to fully and authentically. Mm-hmm. That you want to be free to go on adventures to see.

God’s world that he created to experience the creator in his creation. Yes. To, because I like your, I If you, if you would like to, I’d really appreciate you sharing some of like your scuba diving, like where mm-hmm. You meet God down there, because that’s something I have a healthy fear of God and a healthy fear of water.

Um, you will find me floating in water, but I will not get in anything bigger that I can’t see the other side unless I’m on a boat

and mm-hmm. But that is something that you, you just keep talking about freedom. Mm-hmm. And the things I love here hearing you talk about, and I love every week when we sh when we chat, is I’m listening to you wiggle out from that thumb. That thumb that’s holding you back from those things. The fact that you want to so badly live your life abundantly, that abundance, that God promises here on this earth, you want so badly to live in that, that you ask for help.

You bring everything to our calls. Everything. Mm-hmm. It may have nothing to do with, with nutrition that week, nothing. Mm-hmm. Or it may or it may have some like something completely different. Yes. But the thing is, is that your whole being is being addressed. Yes. And I’m pointing you back to God. I’m pointing you back to your husband, pointing you back to your what you can control and what you cannot.

Yes. And all of that. But I want you to go into, because this just kind of in my mind, it makes sense to go into the scuba diving thing. Mm-hmm. Because what I see. When I’m think, or in my mind when I think scuba diving and some of the things you’ve shared is like pure blackness. Mm-hmm. Literally jumping, or I guess, do you like sit on the edge and back in or whatever?

Um, into unknown. Mm-hmm. And you make that a, like, to me that’s thrilling, but not in the thrills that I like, but you go in there and you, I don’t know, explain your encounters down there with God because it’s, it’s such a testimonial there. Right, right there. Well, we’re clearly

on a wavelength because literally I just had a thought to share when you said, Hey, let’s go into scuba diving.

So that’s cool. Um, you know, it’s funny, um, there is such a misconception about scuba diving because that is almost always the very first thing that people say is, isn’t it dark? It’s actually not now. Um, I live in central Indiana, and so if you scuba dive in a quarry and it’s, you probably can’t see the tips of your fence.

However, I am, uh, rather a warm water, um, scuba snob. Um, there’s actually an acronym for that. Oh. And in the scuba diving community, you’re called a warm water wsi.

Um, but, uh, you know, when you’re scuba diving in places like the Caribbean and the water is like you see in pictures, oh, it’s crystal clear and you can see hundreds of feet usually. Okay. Depending on the clarity of the water. And, you know, it’s kind of like looking up in the sky where when you look up and you see a bird, Flying in the sky, you may not be able to tell whether that bird is 50 feet off the ground, off the ground, or 60 feet off the ground or 70 feet off the ground because you kind of lose that per steps perception against the sky.

Yeah. And it’s the same way with scuba diving when you’re underwater. That’s why it’s so important that we have computers engages that tell us how deep we are. Okay. Because you know, what you’re seeing is, you know, you might, you might not be able to tell whether you’re 50 feet or 60 feet or 70 feet deep.

Okay. Wow. Depending on for the, for the most part, depending on where you’re at, um, it’s very much the scene from Finding Nemo where they go to the drop off. Mm-hmm. And it’s literally most of the time, um, lot when we dive, we dive a wall like that where you come to the edge and then there’s literally a drop off and all of the quarrel and, um, Uh, formations, you know, are down a wall.

And that’s why I said it’s so important because you, you, you do lose perception of how deep you are. Okay. But, um, the thing that I love so much about scuba diving, there’s a couple things, but the first thing is, is we live in a world of noise. We are bombarded with noise everywhere. And with someone who, um, has a d d, um, I, I struggle with that because it’s hard to shut that noise off and to not be constantly like, oh my goodness, you know, I hear this, or I see that, or, you know, and so it’s perpetual distraction.

And the thing that I love about scuba diving is that you get under the water and there’s no noise. There’s literally the sound of your own breathing, so you sound like Darth Vader, you know? Um, which freaks some people out just in that in and of itself. Right. But there’s a freedom for me in the absolute stop of all noise.

You know, unless a boat goes over, you know, above you, you know, you might hear a little bit of an engine, but you actually can hear the fish eating the coral and crunching on coral. Really? Yes you can. Mm-hmm. You can hear you all of a sudden become very, very attuned to those really minute sounds. Um, which is so fascinating.

And, um, and I just, I. The thing that I always, um, is so settling for me is that when I get in the water, I am reminded of how incredibly small I am in the scheme of things. And I think, you know, especially in the wake of this last year, you know, you can, you can feel so consumed with your circumstances and so overwhelmed with, you know, what’s happening in politics and what’s happening around the world.

You know, we have the war in Ukraine and we have the, you know, this is going on and look what’s happening in our schools and look what’s, you know, happening at work and yeah. You know, all the things right. And, and everything feels so big. It just feels so big and so overwhelming. And, and the thing I love about jumping in the water and going down is, How incredibly small I am and how spread incredibly small those things are in the overall scheme of what’s happening on this planet.

You know? And when you think, what is it? Two thirds of the earth is covered with water. Mm-hmm. And that is like, you know, and that is the environment primarily. And yet we can get so hung up on, you know, things that are happening. And it always, it always just calibrates me. It always gives me a calm. Um, I’m always, you know, the very first verse of the Bible is, in the beginning, God created heaven and earth.

And so the very first thing that we learn about God is that he is a creator. Yeah. That he is creative. And that he is driven by creativity. That’s right. And so that’s the very first thing we learn about him. And so why are, why is his creation of us any different that we are not created so wonderfully different from one another?

We all have a different purpose. And I see that when I’m under the water, I marvel. And that’s one of the things that I contemplate. You know, when I’m on a wall like that and I’m looking at the, the corals or the different sponges or the different little teeny fish and the little teeny fish that are cleaning the bigger fish and the shrimp and all the things, right?

I just, I sit and I, that’s one of the things that I contemplate is like, Lord, everything has a purpose. Like your creativity and the things that you thought up. And the things that we don’t even know about. Mm-hmm. Right. For somebody who’s never been under the water, you don’t even know about all of those things that are down there.

If you’ve never been to the jungle, we don’t know about all of those things that exist mm-hmm. In that ecosystem. Right. And, and so it just, I always, that’s, that’s one of the things that’s so calming for me when I’m under the water like that, because that’s the kind of stuff that I think about. I’m just like, Lord, like you felt like this was important.

Like it was important to create this little cleaner fish that cleans this bigger one. Yep. And that, that is just as important as the bigger one who then feeds a bigger one, or who does is, is crunching up the coral and creating the sand, or, you know, whatever that is. And, um, you know, and to recognize his intentionality and his purpose.

With each of us is no less than that. It,

you know, the scripture of the scripture of him with the sparrow? Yes. Like the fact that the sparrow’s not created in his image, but yet he does not, the sparrow does not want for food or worry about in the next days food. Yes. Yes. De Sparrow knows, okay, I’m gonna get up and go find food because it’s always there.

Mm-hmm. Just like, like why would he not do even more for us? Yes. And do you think that it has to do with responsibility? Do you think that we have lost somewhere along the way that we have a responsibility to get out and do things that remind us that we are small? Yes.

One of the things, um, you and I talked about, um, the book, um, sacred Pathways.

And, and how we encounter God. Um, and so for me, um, one of my primary pathways is nature mine too. And so, you know, so maybe you’re the kind of person that just needs to go for a walk and you just need to observe all the different kinds of leaves on the trees, just in a mile walk around your house, you know?

Um, maybe it’s, you know, going to a park. So, so my fun new thing is, um, this new house has a, uh, pond, a a little COI pond. And so we went last weekend and we actually ventured into COI ownership, um, which again, I guess is a thing. Um, and I. But it, it has been so refreshing for me in the evenings to go out and sit next to that pond and watch those silly fish, you know, and there’s three of them and it’s just, but you know, there’s just something, um, for me that is so connecting in that way.

And, you know, we’ve talked about the need to go out and walk in the grass in your bare feet and ground yourself. And, um, and I think, you know, not only is that a physical grounding, but it’s also a mental and emotional. It’s, it’s all of those things, right? Yes. And the spiritual, it’s all of those components.

And, and just that reminder, because I think sometimes some of our challenges are really that we’re, we’re battling for control. Yes. Right. And being able to recognize. You know, while there are things that are in control, there’s just a whole lot that’s not, you know, and, and if you, if you wanna be calibrated on who’s really in control, go scuba diving.

Yes. And you experience the water and you experience what happens under the sea and you’ll learn very, very quickly. There’s not a one of us that’s in control. That’s right. And, um, no matter how much we think we are, and, but like you said, there’s also freedom in that. There’s also freedom in that and being able to let go.

Yes. And just be.

Yes. And that unraveling happens periodically to level us. Mm-hmm. Yes. And the chosen, like, I don’t think, I don’t think that, I mean, yes, unraveling happens without, without us being in control or us like making that decision. But even purposely making that decision to unravel everything, uh, shows a spiritual maturity that we still like.

It’s not, not that it’s not hard, but it’s that spiritual maturity of knowing, okay, God, I trust you. And our sermon at church this weekend ended with just when we are nervous or anxious about things or worrying about the what ifs. If we can just say, God, I trust you. Mm-hmm. God, I trust you. What is my part?

Is there something I’m doing wrong or something I need to do, or need to stop doing or need to incorporate that I’m not doing, but God I trust you. Because he’s the only one that has seen our tomorrows, he’s the only one that has seen everything, the book of life. Mm-hmm. He’s the only one that knows it.

Even Jesus doesn’t know the time or when he’s coming back. Yes. How amazing and awesome is it that we, like I was just thinking you were talking about, um, in my mind, I was, uh, recalling it as like creation. My backyard was barren this past spring because we had a big drought here in southwest Ohio, and I’m looking back and Oh, you were talking about grounding.

And I’m like, oh my gosh. God provided grass. I didn’t plant any grass. I have grass in my backyard from dirt. Mm-hmm. Like if God can replenish the green in my life, in my backyard, why can’t he not replenish me? Yes. If he can give all of this water so that my plants that I neglect to water that they can still thrive, how is it that, how much more can he help me to thrive?

But what you said is that control and that perspective and using you even like brought in like using tools, computers, and all of these other like sonar and all the things to know your depth, engage your depth. You were talking about boundaries. Yes. Safe boundaries in which to play and live and explore in.

And that’s what I try to do here with my one-to-one packages. Yes. Help you explore, push the boundaries of who you think you are. To who you actually were created to be. Yes. Help you to stay within boundaries that are within God’s scope as best as possible. Not what culture or me a modern medicine or something else says is it has to be this way.

And I think that’s a big, um, a big red flag is when someone says that everyone, this works for everyone. Mm-hmm. That should be a red flag in our minds. Yes. Because we are so individually knit, just like those different fish, just like those different sea creatures that are supporting each other, their own ecosystems.

Mm-hmm. And I think like when we get so narrow-minded about our politics, about our, um, what’s going on in schools and all that, we, we, we start to close in when really we need to pull out and say, okay, God, this is a spiritual battle over our country, over our kids, over all the things. What do you want me to do?

What is my place in this? Yes. It is not about narrowing down and getting hateful and like separating. Like there’s nothing under God that like really separates. He’s the one that separates. Yes. He’s the one that separates followers from un unfollows. He’s the one that knows our hearts. Yes.

But it is a Well, and go ahead.

The verse it. No, the verse that comes to me is, um, John 10 10. And that’s, you know, the thief comes to steal and kill and destroy. Yes. Right. And you know, the world is trying to steal and kill and destroy. Um, and, and give us a perspective that it’s lost or it’s hopeless. Yes, yes. Or that these things, there’s so much, you know, but Jesus says, but my purpose was to come and give you.

A rich and abundant life. Amen. Not in the future, not in heaven. Like we have the promise of that, right? Yes. But right now here on earth. And so what does richness and what does abundance look like today? That’s right. And how can I step into richness and abundance in my life today? And by the way, I am speaking this over myself right now.

’cause I need this reminder daily too. Especially, you know, in the midst of a new space where I still don’t have furniture in all of my spaces and I still don’t, I still have boxes that haven’t been unpacked and, you know, the frustration of that. But, but how in, in the midst of that, can I recognize that?

Jesus purpose was to give us a rich and abundant life. Now, that doesn’t mean that things aren’t gonna happen and that things aren’t gonna be hard. It doesn’t mean that the, the things that trip me up, you know, they’re gonna, those are gonna be different than what trips somebody else up. We all have those things because that’s the enemy trying to steal and kill and destroy, to give me false messages, to speak lies into me to believe something about myself or about my health, or about what wellbeing really is.

That is not true. And, you know, and we have to step into that faith that you know, and that promise that Jesus says, no, no, no, I am come to give you a richness and an abundance to your life. That rises above all of that. That’s right. But you have to be willing to see that. You have to be willing to look for it.

Yeah. Daily, sometimes, sometimes, depending on what you’re dealing through. I mean, there, there were moments that I had to remind myself that from hour to hour, right. Um, sometimes I don’t need that reminder as frequently. Um, but I think, you know, being able to say, okay, richness and abundance in life doesn’t mean everything’s going perfect.

It doesn’t mean that I am meeting all of my food challenges with you every day perfectly. It means that I’m taking one step forward into an awareness and into a consciousness about how all of these things are interwoven in my life. Right. To start building that new and to start weaving that new tapestry of, and uh, you know, of this new season that will also be rich and abundant.

The same the way the other one was, but just a different picture. That’s right. And that’s okay too.

Yeah. Julie, we have been talking for over an hour. I think I can sit and talk for you with you all day, every day and we would still have something to talk about. Um, it’s such a pleasure to see my.

Yep, mine does too. And I’m like, you know what I come from, go ahead from, I come from a family of talkers, it’s fine. But talking is how we process things and it works. Right. Um, but also just on another note that you are an excellent listener and I really work hard to be a listener on my end because that’s actual communication.

That’s not mm-hmm. Like, I think that I, you and I are on the same wavelength where we listen and we communicate. It’s not just about talking, it’s about communicating. And, um, anyway. We’ve been talking for over an hour, and I love and could continue going, but you gave us a place to enter in here. You were saying, taking action.

We have to take action and step into that gift of abundance here on this earth. And my question for you is, in your perspective and in your experience, what would you say to someone that is interested in working with me in a high level, high touch, one-to-one package?

Oh, don’t hesitate. Don’t hesitate to do it because, um, you know, it, it was really interesting, um, because I had to step back for a moment.

Um, While we were, um, going through the actual move and stuff, and my husband even said, when are you gonna start back up with Danielle again? Because he saw such a marked difference in me as well, and was so supportive of that. And, um, and again, I think, um, don’t be, you know, don’t be afraid to step in and don’t think that this is just about, you know, having to step on a scale and check in, um, with a weight check or a, oh my goodness, I’m eating this, or, or am I eating that right?

Um, that has been such a minuscule, and, and some of those don’t even, aren’t even relative or, or, you know, aren’t even part of the criteria of this, which was such a huge blessing for me and why I had been so successful. Yes. Um, in it. So don’t, don’t think that this is going to be like a Jenny Craig where you’re gonna have to like, check in with your, you know, your calories or you’re gonna have, it’s not that.

It is so, so much more. Um, it is about finding a, a sense of wholeness and wellbeing in all areas of your life and, and helping chart a course to that.

Yes. I like that. Uh, that charting your own course, like to that mm-hmm. Yes. So well, thank you for those kind words and thank you for coming on today. It has been such an honor to get a front row view of God, God’s work in and through you, and just what that’s going to look like.

I’m excited to see what it’s gonna look like in this new season of life. And, um, I just, before we started recording, I was telling her, I, you know, I prayed over her after her session yesterday. Mm-hmm. Um, I went outside and grounded and just walked around the house praying over, and I said I, it gave her a couple things I prayed over, but I did not tell her everything I prayed over because I did pray over some very big things and just things on my heart for her.

And that’s what I do in these high level one-to-one packages. I don’t open it up to many. Um, that’s why there’s an application process to work with me because I wanna make sure we are a great fit. If you are interested in working with me after hearing Julie’s story, after just listening to how things go and the, and also what an honor and what a blessing of the clients I do get to work with.

Um, I get to learn things alongside them and experience God’s blessings in all of this and all of their lives. And, but if you’re interested in applying for that, shoot me an email at hello at crying in my cheesecake.com. I will link that down below in the show notes. If you have any questions or concerns or things that you’re like, man, do you really help with this, or any of that, please do not hesitate to email me again, that’s Hello at Crying in my cheesecake.com.

Thanks for listening to The Crying in My Cheesecake podcast. I hope it encourage you to make a next best step for your health. Take a look at the show notes for more information or other links I mentioned in the episode. And if you got to this point in the episode, come and find me on Instagram and send me a dmm.

Tell me you listened to this and what you got out of it.

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hey, i’m Danielle

I love Jesus. I love my family. And I get joy from having a front row view of people growing toward their goals because of what I’ve taught.

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