I cup his face. Feel the soft, smooth innocence as I caress his cheeks with my thumbs. He’s my boy. But one day. One day all too soon, the smooth and supple cheeks will be covered with the stubble of am an. He will be my little man child. Then one day he will be a man. With his own wife, kids, career, responsibilities.
The skin will eventually become weathered from and and stress that life brings. He may have soft or even depending laugh lines setting in place. Really, I hope he gets laugh lines. He’s too happy of a boy now to not imagine him laughing and enjoying life when he’s older.
He asked me the other night to hold him and rock him. I told him, “I’ll rock you every day of your life, even when you’re 30.” His response was laughter. Dustin, spoke up though, and said, “And buddy, you’ll let her.”
Reality check– When he’s 30, I’ll be 56. I can only hope my physical health and strength will permit me to rock my first born baby boy no matter how awkward it may be.
But I will continue to hold and rock that boy, man boy, and man. Always in my heart. I will rock him to sleep. Rock his emotions for comfort. Rock his world with consequences out of love if he messes up and makes a wrong decision. In fact, I will always be a solid rock on which he can turn to for all things good and bad.
What I know though is I’m not perfect and nor is he. In fact, I’m so imperfect I can fly off the handle for a stranger’s ill behavior or worse yet, a stranger’s child’s ill behavior. My son, he corrects me on that and quite frankly other things. But I see him get upset over other’s behaviors too. Simple things that most people can go on with their lives about, he and I both get upset and feel it is our burden.
I also know is that even though we aren’t perfect, Jesus is. Sometimes it is hard to believe that Jesus even walked on this earth and was tempted by every thing we humans are. It seems this world is so torn, broken, damaged, and there’s no hope.
But looking into the eyes of my little boy, I see the hope of Jesus. I see a future and a call to action to do something. Right now that something is to lead by example. In fact, that’s what all of us mothers are to do. That’s our first priority in the home–lead by example. How I incorporate the importance of Jesus is my life is going to echo out to my family. The behaviors I exhibit will also trickle out into the lives of my family members.
Today is New Years day 2016. I don’t do a word of the year. I don’t do resolutions. But this year I want to focus on leading well, by example.
This year, I pray for God to do something Big in my life and the life of my family. I pray that as a family we stand out as different because we ARE different. I pray that I can continue to be a strong leader of my family and care for my family in the way they need. So I can be that rock. The one physical and emotional constant in my family’s life daily.
What are you praying for for this year? Do you do a word? Do you do resolutions? What is stirring in you for this year ahead?