Unveiling the Health Puzzle: Why your ‘Why’ Holds the Key to Lasting Wellness

In this episode, Danielle challenges conventional approaches that often prioritize the “what” and “how” over the crucial “why.” She unravels the cultural allure of quick fixes, emphasizing that the “how” is merely a piece of the puzzle without a clear understanding of the foundational “why.”

Delving into the significance of the “why,” she discusses its role as the bedrock for effective health strategies. Real-life examples illustrate how addressing the root causes of health issues leads to more sustainable and meaningful results.

Navigating the maze of health information, she shares practical tips to overcome confusion and shift from seeking the next best “how” to understanding the individualized “why.” She stresses the importance of finding practitioners who comprehend the significance of the “why” and honor the innate intelligence of the body, sharing success stories that highlight the transformative power of this practitioner-patient connection.

Finally, she explores the delicate interplay of the “why,” “how,” and “what” in health pursuits. Harmonizing these elements, she demonstrate how a clear “why” informs the most effective “how” to achieve the desired “what,” offering a roadmap for lasting well-being.

Join in on this episode of self-discovery and empowerment as Danielle encourages you to prioritize your “why” before diving into the “how,” fostering a holistic understanding of your health goals. Subscribe now for a guided exploration into intentional living and the transformative power of understanding your unique well-being.

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Welcome to the crying in my cheesecake podcast, where we are in pursuit of living life abundantly, not held back by our body size or symptoms, nor are we held back by our hurts, habits, or other obstacles in life. Learn the secrets to crush it in your health, wellness, relationships, and spiritual life. I am Danielle, your host and practitioner.

And in this episode, we are moving into the second part of this three part series. I’m bringing you about finding your why, when it comes to your health and wellness. If you haven’t listened to the first episode of the series, it aired on November 22nd, 2023. Please pause and go find that episode first.

Okay. If you’re ready, let’s dive in. Let’s talk about this tendency that we have to jump straight into the how of pursuing our health. We’re going to dive into that allure of the how and why it can be tempting to jump straight into those methods without addressing the deeper reasons behind our health goals.

So I want to define what how means in this. in this, um, incidence or in this circumstance, the how is the dieting method? The fitness routine, the supplement, the, you know, anything like that. So as you keep listening, the how is like, let’s just say Weight Watchers, Optavia, um, uh, Waygovi, um, Oh, Ozempic.

There’s so many o’s uh, Noom, um, paleo, a IP, whole 30 Keto Veganism. All of those kinds of things are how, okay. CrossFit is a how, um, functional fitness is a how walking more is a how, how’s our methods. Okay. So now that we have that figured out, let’s start by looking at cultural and societal landscapes that may influence us in this.

Because we live in a world that often emphasizes quick fixes and instant results. Hello, capitalism. I love capitalism. I will. Um, always talk about capitalism being the best, but just because something is the best doesn’t mean that it’s not without flaws, right? So just putting that caveat out there. But when in capitalism, the way that we view things is, um, oh my gosh, someone needs something.

And we need to fix it. That’s kind of the culture here of the American capitalism. We see something, we see a need, and then we create something to fix that. That’s ingenuitive, that’s entrepreneurial, that is business, that is health, that is big pharma, that’s your neighborhood naturopathic doctor. me. I will be soon.

Um, that is like me. That is like that. The, we want to help fix and give you results. There is a constant barrage of advertisements promising latest and greatest health methods, whether it’s a new diet, a trendy exercise routine, or a revolutionary supplement. Remember, remember diets, exercise, and supplements.

are a an example of the how when we focus on the how and then there is a pressure that we have to find a quick solution that is palpable and it has the idea of a shortcut to health, right? Like we all want a shortcut to health. It is so tempting and it’s like The how is often portrayed as this golden ticket.

It’s a magic key to unlock these health aspirations that we have. Like I remember as a child saying to my mom, I’m like, mom, I just wish there was a pill that we could take and it would give us the exact nutrition we needed so that I didn’t have to overeat. Now I was a little girl saying this to my mom.

And the thing is, is that I know what I know now is that little girl. was eating her feelings. And that little girl did not have at the time any hunger hormones or hunger cues. It was all about emotions were my cues of when to eat. Emotions and time and so forth. So thinking about that magic key. To unlock our health aspirations.

I’m curious what your magic key is. Like, did you have something similar to that like I did as a kid? And I also know that if you’re listening here, um, you’re probably a lot like me in that you get easily caught up in the excitement of a new method. A new how, a new method to your health aspirations, especially when it seems like everyone else around you is jumping on the same bandwagon.

The promise of a faster, easier way to reach our goals can be too alluring to resist. And I remember when I was teaching, I was over 300 pounds. Teaching is not the healthiest profession out there by any means. Um, I was at the bar grading papers most every night, uh, and eating fried food. Like, Just disgusting things that I would eat.

Anyway, I remember when I was teaching, we did a weight loss challenge and I don’t remember if it was for the new year or something like that, but we did a where you paid X number of dollars and whoever lost the most would get the most money. Whoever lost the second most would get a little bit of money, you know, that kind of thing.

And we all chose a dining plan, so we chose a how. And one of the hows that I was on was this restrictive, insanely restrictive diet. It was basically keto, um, or carnivore ish, but it was so restricted that even lettuce wasn’t allowed, and broccoli, and I was only allowed to eat like meat, and at the time I could not afford.

that. So it was already a barrier, but I got so excited because it was a competition and I wanted to, you know, everybody else was doing something and I wanted to like, I just wanted something to work once and for all. And that pain that I felt when I was like, I just, I, and sometimes even to this day, I’m just like, I am so done working on my Hashimoto’s.

I’m so done working on my inflammation. I’m so done working on my root causes. Like, shouldn’t it be done by now? Shouldn’t I be done and be able to just live? Shouldn’t I be able to just be like her and eat whatever I want to get and not have to think about it? And if you’re feeling that way and you have felt that way in the past, please know you’re not alone.

My Wilderness of Wellness members, my one to one clients, we all talk about this often because it is a reality. We want a one and done thing. We want there to be an after where it’s as if our past never existed. As, um, we want an after where we don’t have to work at all. We don’t want to have to take care of ourselves anymore.

And can I just say that I am convicted. Of that. I’m convicted of the irresponsibility of that. That I want to put in the work, hard work now and then I’ll, it’ll pay off later. Well, it does pay off later. But we still have to keep working. That’s why you will rarely see me post before and after photos of my clients.

Or of my members. Because we, there is no such thing, I do not and I refuse to perpetuate this idea of a before and after. Because there’s a before and during. The after is when we meet Jesus face to face and, and we have been, you know, our last breath is here on this earth. There’s no before and after. I ask you to think about that too.

What do the before and afters do to you? How do they make you feel? They kind of perpetuate this idea that you need that golden ticket. Oh, well, whatever they’re doing, I need. That must be, that must be it. That must be the last thing I have to do. I just need to work with that macronutrition coach. I just need to work with that person.

I just need to work with Danielle and it’ll be all magical and all done. Friend. Working with me is magical, don’t get me wrong, but I’m going to teach you that the work is never done and I’m going to teach you how to take care of yourself and especially in my Wilderness of Wellness membership, the brand new membership that’s launching January 1st of 2024, this membership is unlike anything else I have ever put together.

When I say that, I have been crying doing the content. Preparing the ebooks, preparing the downloads, preparing your teaching content, your video teaching content, preparing the worksheets or the workbooks, preparing all of that, I’m crying and I’m reminded there was one exercise I recorded actually yesterday and it was an exercise that Um, everyone in my membership is going to get to go through and it’s in phase one and I was sobbing over some of the questions that, um, this assessment was going through.

It’s about emotions and how you were treated as a child and how you, um, were, how your parents interacted with one another or your caregivers interacted with one another. And I cried because I saw, I hadn’t looked at this in a while. And I’m like, Oh my gosh, I am a different person. I sobbed and praised God because I’m like, Oh my gosh, only you could have intercepted the old me and the old ways and the old things I was taught and moved me to be this parent that offers, where was it here?

I wanted to share this here. Um, I’m it’s literally sitting next to me because I just recorded it, um, right here. I often saw my parents express pride in one another’s accomplishments. Um, the question I could always talk to my parents about my successes as a child. Um, I often saw my parents talk about their feelings.

I felt comfortable talking to my mom and dad about my, uh, my negative emotions, my anger, that kind of stuff. And I’m like, Oh my gosh, the conversations my children are having with me. It shows that they are safe and I’m offering them a safe place to be imperfect and to grow. And I just saw something, this is totally like kind of off for just a minute, but it’s about that quick fix that we throw our kids in public school and we expect the teachers to be their parents.

And then when the teachers can’t do it because they’re overworked and that’s not their job, their friends step in place, their friends step in place and they become their safety net instead of the parents. It’s our job to be that safety net. Anyway, I don’t remember how we got here, but let’s back up about how we feel that allure to the quick fixes and how we feel when we just feel like we’re not understood.

There we go. Making the connection there. How we’re just not necessarily always understood by those around us and our healthcare professionals don’t understand and don’t have the time to understand and quite frankly, many of my healthcare professionals have never been overweight. Many of them don’t have heart disease and diabetes in their family.

Many of them don’t have Hashimoto’s or thyroid problems in their family. So they cannot understand what it’s like to be, I’m 39 right now, to be a 39 year old woman, seeing my mom at 66, I think. I think my mom’s 66. My dad is 70… Um, I can’t do the math right now, um, but to see them where they are and that it’s a very real visible example that I have to take care of myself.

I have always been obese my whole life except for a couple of times and even then I was only overweight and right now I’m considered overweight. It is so frustrating to know that everything I do, it feels like no one understands. And that’s why I’m creating the community I have with the Wilderness of Wellness because we need some people that understand and get it and can celebrate and be there for us.

So anyway, so I want to back us away from this idea of the how. That starting with a dieting plan, starting working with him or her or whatever, that that is not… That’s all of the equation. In fact, in fact, it’s only part of the equation without a solid understanding of why. These methods or these hows become the puzzle piece or come like puzzle pieces without a picture to guide us so we don’t have the top of the box to tell us what, like, what are we supposed to see in the long run?

Like, how are we supposed to actually measure? What are we, what are we actually doing this for? Sure, a new diet or exercise routine might sound promising, and they do, right? But how do we know if it’s the right fit for our unique circumstances? How do we ensure that it addresses the root cause of our health concerns?

Let’s look at some real life examples. Consider someone who decides to follow a popular diet trend because it promises quick weight loss. They might diligently follow all the rules, I want you to hear this, follow all the rules, count all the calories, and restrict and or restrict certain food groups, okay?

The how seems so straightforward, right? We’re going to follow the rules. We’re going to count our calories. We’re going to restrict certain foods. The how seems so straightforward and there might be initial success. That’s why we get those quick successes when we follow quote unquote rules. However, Without a clear understanding of the underlying why, perhaps it’s emotional eating, stress, hormonal imbalances, you name it, the results are likely to be short lived.

It’s like trying to fix a leaky roof by constantly mopping up the water without addressing the source of the leak. Eventually the problem persists and the frustration continues to grow. And then. You start to identify as not good enough, well this just isn’t going to work for me, I cannot have health, this isn’t an opportunity for me.

So I want you then to come with me down this path of, of thinking about starting a health journey without a destination. We don’t know why we’re even doing what we’re doing, right? That’s what happens when we skip over that why. When we skip over the why and jump into the how. The how is what, remember the methods.

The why is the compass that guides our, our health pursuits. Serving as the foundation for meaningful and sustainable results. So the why is pivotal. And we’re going to explore this even deeper, um, in this next episode, but health concerns are the tip of an iceberg. What’s visible on the surface is just a fraction of what lies underneath.

So for example, if you have extra weight on your body, that is a visible surface level issue. And we need to figure out what lies underneath. And there’s probably a plethora of things that need to be addressed underneath. Understanding the root cause of our health issues is akin to diving beneath that service surface and unveiling that larger often interconnected picture.

And I love it. That’s my favorite thing to do. Consider this analogy. If you have weeds in your garden, You can keep trimming them, but unless you actually address the underlying soil conditions, the weeds will persist. If you don’t pull out the root of that weed, oh my gosh, I had this nasty grass thing growing in my flower bed that I finally just let the chickens dig up because I was so mad.

I had gloves on and this grass was like slippery at times, but if you didn’t have a hold of it exactly next to and like pushing into the soil, the roots would not come up. So every time I pulled, it would just, Oh, cool. Let’s make more. And so it was so irritating, but that is similar with our health concerns that have deeper roots, deeper root issues, whether they’re related to our lifestyle, our emotional wellbeing or underlying medical conditions.

And I think that that’s important enough to like, to bring up because so many people. They are not doing that. They’re settling for less. They’re settling for the surface level approach. And even I, I posted a story yesterday on my Instagram and if you’re not following me on Instagram at crying in my cheesecake, you need to be because I am giving, I give so much information there.

You get to see parts of my life. You get to see lots of real life things happen and I interact with you a lot on there. So um, in the DMs, I actually talked to a lot of you on the DMs, so I’m so glad you’re here by the way. So I want you to think that root cause and end. What we’re settling for. We’re typically settling for the pharmaceutical company and our doctors telling us what to do with our health.

Giving us a pill, giving us an excuse, giving us whatever, so that we don’t take responsibility. And that is something, there’s actually a workbook inside my new Wilderness of Wellness that’s called Radical Responsibility, because I’m teaching you how to take back control from big pharma, from the doctors, from having to be on these medicines, from, you know, anything else.

It’s time to take back that responsibility. When did it become okay to hand that over? And just say, Oh, well, whatever happens, happens going broke on medicines. I can, I, my parents spend so much money on my dad’s medicines. It’s not even funny. And some people I know in person that have passed because they’ve chosen.

They’ve chosen to not pay for their medicines and or get help with their medicines and they saw no way out. So they just quit taking them and passed. When did we allow that to happen? I ask you to question that where else in your life are you allowing people? Big companies, big new norms control you that you’ve let go of.

And it’s a slow slide. It’s not like you did it on purpose. But right now we are going to have to be, in this current climate, we are going to have to be counter cultural if we want to continue thriving and changing generations to come. So picture a scenario where someone is struggling with persistent fatigue.

The immediate how, so like the method, might involve relying on energy boosting supplements or a bunch of coffee, right? People, so it really irritates me when I see all of these fitspos on Instagram or all these girls, um, in the gym and they, and they’re slugging around their pre workout. We don’t need pre workout.

Pre workout is going to actually cause more problems in the long run. It can cause bladder and kidney like UTIs. It can cause brain issues. It can cause stress on the body, oxidative stress, so many things. There should be no reason that we need extra energy unless you are a professional athlete training and you actually do need the extra energy to go that next level.

It shouldn’t be something that you rely on every single day. So anyway. The immediate how might rely if you’re dealing with persistent fatigue might involve relying on energy boosting supplements or like coffee, some kind of stimulant. However, after addressing the underlying why, which could be the lack of quality of sleep, chronic stress, or an undiagnosed medical condition, the fatigue continues to linger.

We have to address that why. We can’t just continue to put band aids on it. Band aids are the how. To illustrate the power of addressing the why, let’s consider someone dealing with chronic pain. Instead of simply relying on pain management techniques, a holistic approach involves investigating the root cause such as muscular imbalances, postural issues, or unresolved emotional trauma, stress.

By addressing that why, that individual can experience not just temporary relief, but long term meaningful improvements in their well being. And, I think that another thing too, uh, let me go here for just a minute. Again, I’m so glad I get to be in your ears. Let me go here just a minute. A lot of people will say, and when I say people, I mean others that you’ll see online, others that you’ll see in this similar space.

They’ll say that why is a theoretical concept? It’s something that we cannot grasp, but really it’s a compass. The Y is a compass that steers us toward tailored or personalized, effective strategies, not blanket statements anymore. And I think when I first started this business, um, in 2019, I first started this business, I was a nutrition coach.

I was a macro nutrition coach. And I believed at the time that if, Oh, if we just lose weight, eat within our macros, we’re going to be healthy. But macros do not equate to health. Macros are only part of the. Part of the equation macros are a how and macros are important. Like I’m saying they’re important But just because you follow your macros and have a certain body shape a body Body fat ratio that kind of thing does not mean you’re necessarily healthy.

Are you are you more primed to be healthier? Absolutely But so many people who lift weights, look like bodybuilders, head to the gym often, are actually suffering from, and I’m going to list this because I work with a lot of athletes, they deal with gut issues, diarrhea, constipation. When I say constipation, I mean literally like pooping maybe balls once a week.

That’s it. Like little teeny tiny pebbles once a week. And then they wonder why they’re bloated. They can’t eat certain foods. Their appetite goes and wanes. And then they shift like they’re starving and they want nothing. But so it’s binge eating happens. Um, there’s an unhealthy relationship with tracking food.

So there’s this idea. I’m good. If I’m eating good foods, I’m bad. If I’m eating bad foods, there is, um, a lot of joint pain, a lot of muscle aches, a lot of non recovery from injuries or getting injured often. And sleep is non existent. These people typically are high stressed and have to be brought down and it is so hard for them, me too, to even approach this in a much slower fashion.

So body size does matter, but it is not everything. So let’s pretend that you’re standing in the middle of a busy marketplace, like you’re in a mall. Okay. When the malls were actually cool and safe. And you’re surrounded by all these stores and. You have all these, you know, remember those kiosks in the middle of the mall, like people were like, here, try this hair thing.

Let me curl your hair. Let me spray this on you. That kind of thing. Right. And each of these people, each of these people, the kiosk are touting their own unique remedy for health and wellness. Okay. Let’s just pretend that instead of spraying stuff on us, maybe they are spraying stuff on us. They’re all like hollering around us like, this is, this is the best.

It’s the most unique thing for health and wellness. It is so easy to get overwhelmed. It’s so easy to look around and be like, Oh my gosh, I am being bombarded by so much advice, different dieting plans, fitness trends, and it is a sensation you get, and I like to call that analysis paralysis. So instead, when we focus solely on the how, that may feel like you are trying to find your way through the labyrinth of all those voices, but really you’re going through it without a map.

When you focus and pick one, you’re going to grab hold of one without a map and not know the, not know what path you’re taking. You might pick a path that seems promising only to encounter dead ends or circles that leave you feeling more lost than when you started. The sources of confusion can be… In constant influx of new diets, new workout routines, new miracle supplements that create a sense of urgency.

And you, Oh my gosh, I got to hop on this. Now I’ve got to get on this latest trend. It becomes entangled. You become entangled in a web of conflicting advice, leaving you questioned, like sitting there questioning which path is the right one for your unique journey. And I think that this is something that.

That, that’s part of why the wilderness of wellness was born. I’m tired of people coming to me and feeling like it’s, it’s like a, out of a mama bear thing. I want to protect you. I want to protect you so that you can create information literacy, that you can develop a critical eye when consuming health information and be like, Oh, okay, yeah, this isn’t for me.

This isn’t good. This isn’t part of my values. I get that. I’ve given you a place to get trusted guidance to help you find other, um, reputable resources, other healthcare professionals, evidence based publications, all of that in one place. I’m teaching you how to embrace your own uniqueness, noticing, like breaking that habit of, or that mind shift and like cutting that, that space in our brain that says, Oh, this one size fits all fits her.

So it’s going to fit me too. I’m going to help you understand that you are an individual and I’m going to help you to prioritize your why. I’m going to help you step back from the methods and we are going to go through the mindset training that is necessary to break those chains because it doesn’t matter what we do, what I teach you.

I can tell you exactly what to do. I can give you the rules, give you the calories, give you all of that. But if you don’t have a mindset that is prepared for it, none of it matters. None of it matters and your results are not going to be sustained. So I want you to have this mindset shift that moves you away from a relentless pursuit of the next best how, and instead focus on understanding your individualization, your why, your personal why.

And that emphasis right there on the underlying reasons for our health goals, it’s going to totally cut through that confusion and select methods. and resonate with our deep motivations. So let’s choose, let’s choose to step into this. Step into equipping yourself with the tools that overcome confusion and cultivate a more intentional and personalized approach to your well being.

Stay tuned because I will in the next episode talk about how to find your why. Now, something that I want to also bring up before I forget. Is that there is a profound interconnectedness of these three elements. The what, the why, and the how. I’m sorry I said that backwards. The what, the how, and the why. I want you to imagine these words, these areas as pillars supporting the structure of your goals.

The why is your foundation. The how is a bridge. And the what is the tangible outcomes that you want to have. Why is your roadmap so you know where to go, that you don’t fall off the road, you don’t fall off the trail? How, how are the methods? And I will be giving you methods inside the Wilderness of Wellness.

Methods that are um, evidence based, scientific based, and um, backed by IU Med School and a few other places. But these methods work, but we have to remember that it is in our mind. It’s our mindset has to change. So with that said, I want to make sure that before I say anything else, before I wrap this up, that I hear from you because a piece of mindset, a piece of being a mindset master is connection.

Connection with people who get it. I would love to hear from you. You can simply, you can simply send me an email. Hello at cryinginmycheesecake. com You can find me on Instagram and follow me at cryinginmycheesecake. Send me a DM. Tell me you listened to this episode. Let me know what you’re feeling. What did you get from this episode?

Were you seen? Were you heard? Did you find community in my voice? That you’re not alone? Because it’s when we’re hungry, angry, or emotional, lonely, or tired is when we’re most susceptible to making poor choices. and giving in to those fast fixes, instant gratification, and whatever it may be. Until next time.

Thanks for listening to the Crying In My Cheesecake podcast. I hope it encouraged you to make a next best step for your health. Take a look at the show notes for more information or other links I mentioned in the episode. And if you got to this point, come and find me on Instagram and send me a DM at CryingInMyCheesecake.

Tell me you listened to this episode and what you got out of it.

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hey, i’m Danielle

I love Jesus. I love my family. And I get joy from having a front row view of people growing toward their goals because of what I’ve taught.

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