Surrender in the first

June 23rd.

A new building. A new doctor. And staff. I need my people. I need the support of those that know me. Know how strong and smart I am and yet, in that, know I’m needy. My people–they don’t judge. They understand, love, and push me to be even better. (If you’re looking for an amazing OB office in the central Indiana area, click here.)

Dustin took the day off to go to this appointment with me. The appointment is in a town named Carmel, about 40 minutes from my house. Sure there were others closer to me, but my personal OB recommended him first. I even know people that have gone to this clinic and absolutely loved their experience. So I knew I had better go to a place that I know will take care of me like they took care of my friends and family.

The ride. It was chatty in the backseat as the kids were talking about who knows what. The front seat, was more of me processing out loud what was happening. I’m sure I talked about other things just to get my mind off of what we were doing. I was scared. But I hide behind analyzing other people and situations.

Because of heightened nervous, I had offered up the idea of going to lunch near the clinic. A full tummy always helps a mama stay calm. Especially when her children have a full tummy. When that meal was over, the inevitable came. I had to maneuver the van to the specialist’s parking lot.

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Our family walked hand in hand into the building and we rode the elevator up to the second floor. The doors open and Midwest Fertility Specialist’s doors welcome us. The ambiance is quiet, cozy, and home-like. There’s a Keurig machine with a spindle holding a variety of k-cups on my left. The welcome desk is a dark wood with natural light overhead. The face behind the window welcomed me with a huge smile as if she knew me. Like she was one of my people.

This meeting was a consult with the doctor to nail down a course of treatment. Sitting inside the doctor’s personal office. Dietrich and Daylan sat on an oversized leather couch behind my husband and I who sat in oversized leather chairs. At least we were all comfortable. And reality set in. We really we doing this. This surrender thing.

The doctor came in. He greeted the children first. That was huge. Genuinely took a moment to speak to our children. Then he came around, shook our hands, and took the time to get to know us.

I added another doctor to my people.

At that appointment it was decided what was healthiest and best for us was the IUI process. IUI is intrauterine insemination. Click here to read about this highly successful option for women.

And with that, I knew this process of surrender really was underway. I just didn’t realize how freeing surrender could be until later.

Part of surrender in this instance happens when you pray for those that will be around you taking care of you. You pray fervently for their marriages, for their disposition, for their hearts. You pray that they see you, the real you and your needs. Give them, their skills, abilities, knowledge, to God. Let him handle it.

It’s easy to start to get scared that because this doctor wasn’t part of my people to begin with he doesn’t know my personal needs and doesn’t know my body’s needs. When I handed that to God by praying of that doctor. It was freeing. The last part of control or worry I had was literally sent to God. I had surrendered in that moment.

And you know what? It felt great!

I left that office smiling and at peace. Hopeful.

I also left that office not feeling broken any longer.


*If you have any questions about the procedure we underwent, please contact me for a private conversation.

*I was not paid for my story or my promotion of Midwest Fertility Specialists. I cannot not share about how fabulous this group of doctors is, especially for a family that may be struggling to conceive.

This blog is part of a series in dealing with my current infertility journey. If you’d like to read more, please check out the following blogs

Letting Go

Surface Level

I get to fight


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hey, i’m Danielle

I love Jesus. I love my family. And I get joy from having a front row view of people growing toward their goals because of what I’ve taught.

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